I think I'm an alcoholic. Others don't.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Reading what you posted I could have written years ago, you most definitely have a problem with alcohell, soon as you used the word obsessing I just knew.
Stop Drinking this drug and feel the liberation of sobriety , good luck.
Stop Drinking this drug and feel the liberation of sobriety , good luck.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Originally Posted by blixtrix 
people in my life don't understand and think I'm being...dramatic. 
I'm just shrugging all that off. I don't think 21 drinks a week is normal or healthy. I want to quit. That's the only qualification for AA, so I'm going.
I'm just shrugging all that off. I don't think 21 drinks a week is normal or healthy. I want to quit. That's the only qualification for AA, so I'm going.
The amount you drink is not the best indicator for whether you should quit, it's your ability/lack thereof to stop when you want to. AA is not exactly the most prestigious club in town, so I would imagine you have unsuccessfully tried to stop on your own. That is the mark of an alcoholic, not the legal, medical, or social consequences most people associate with the disease.
My hat is off to you for the last two sentences above. I had to go a very long way down the rabbit hole before I came to that conclusion.
Good luck!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: WA
Posts: 6
Day 5 here! I feel great. I woke up with some allergies (?) and a bit of a sinus headache, but these seem manageable compared to my usually hangover fog/headache.
My mood is so much better. I was exhausted last night, but despite this I was still able to be gentle and loving with my kids and their exhaustion. Usually I just snap.
I've had a few moment of panic--when I think too much about the big picture of never being able to have a drink again. But I've been there too many times when I bend the rules to allow a social drink here in there (moderation, right?) only to end up a week later drinking 1.5 bottles a day starting at noon. I just can't moderate, so alcohol is not a part of my life.
These forums have been so helpful. I'm not sure which thread it was on, but I found this quote, which resonates with me more than anything I've read.
This is "...realizing I could live the life I wanted to lead, and be who I really wanted to be....or I could drink. The two were incompatible." (From Dee74)
In any event, I keep returning to this because it's clear now that alcohol is not compatible with the life I want to have. That is such an empowering thought.
I haven't told anyone yet. I think I'm embarrassed because I've told people I'm quitting before and have fallen off the wagon...too many times to count. I'm divorced, so I don't have a spouse to share with. (My ex was a daily drinker, too, so quitting in the context of that marriage was something I wanted, but could never seem to make happen because my drinking buddy/ex was completely unsupportive--so glad that's no longer an issue!) I've only been at my job for six weeks so I'm not saying anything there. I'm a little nervous for when my first social interaction is here. I've been working like crazy lately and as a single parent I haven't had much time for socializing. But when I do socialize, it always revolves around wine (of course!). I'm just in avoidance mode at the moment. Being a homebody is all I can manage at the moment. I have a knitting group that will pick up again in the fall...that's focused on fiber and tea, so that will be nice.
Thanks for your support!
My mood is so much better. I was exhausted last night, but despite this I was still able to be gentle and loving with my kids and their exhaustion. Usually I just snap.
I've had a few moment of panic--when I think too much about the big picture of never being able to have a drink again. But I've been there too many times when I bend the rules to allow a social drink here in there (moderation, right?) only to end up a week later drinking 1.5 bottles a day starting at noon. I just can't moderate, so alcohol is not a part of my life.
These forums have been so helpful. I'm not sure which thread it was on, but I found this quote, which resonates with me more than anything I've read.
This is "...realizing I could live the life I wanted to lead, and be who I really wanted to be....or I could drink. The two were incompatible." (From Dee74)
In any event, I keep returning to this because it's clear now that alcohol is not compatible with the life I want to have. That is such an empowering thought.
I haven't told anyone yet. I think I'm embarrassed because I've told people I'm quitting before and have fallen off the wagon...too many times to count. I'm divorced, so I don't have a spouse to share with. (My ex was a daily drinker, too, so quitting in the context of that marriage was something I wanted, but could never seem to make happen because my drinking buddy/ex was completely unsupportive--so glad that's no longer an issue!) I've only been at my job for six weeks so I'm not saying anything there. I'm a little nervous for when my first social interaction is here. I've been working like crazy lately and as a single parent I haven't had much time for socializing. But when I do socialize, it always revolves around wine (of course!). I'm just in avoidance mode at the moment. Being a homebody is all I can manage at the moment. I have a knitting group that will pick up again in the fall...that's focused on fiber and tea, so that will be nice.
Thanks for your support!
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