Six Months! Holy cow.
April 18, 2010
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Six Months! Holy cow.
In April, I had an epiphany during the middle of a drunken argument. I realized that I was absolutely b.s.ing myself to pretend I could drink like a normal person and that I'd been b's.ing myself for years. That next morning--six months ago to date--I dumped my booze and resolved to try a life without drinking.
I found SR and joined. I am so grateful to all of you who helped me here, and the biggest thanks have to go to the moderators who keep this place running smoothly and dedicate so much of their time to helping all of us. The Class of April thread is also hugely important to me. Without SR, I extremely doubt I could have done this. The community of support means so much. I was also fortunate to see a counselor and am very fortunate to have a boyfriend who rarely drinks and understands why I can't.
In the beginning days, I couldn't imagine that I would make it this far. I would be shocked at 10 days, 12 days, 1 month. After all, I'd been drinking heavily and nightly for years and years, and also had a history of smoking, snorting, or swallowing pretty much anything around. The idea of being an adult and sober seemed too bizarrely contradictory to imagine, since I've been abusing substances regularly since my teens (although alcohol far eclipsed anything else).
The changes in my life over the past six months are astounding. In terms of external changes, I've cut my debt in half, lost twenty-five pounds, and taken much better care of myself. The internal changes are much bigger. I used to walk around feeling paranoid and insecure, anxious and ill-fated. And though life isn't exactly a breeze now, I feel much more open, hopeful, comfortable around people, willing to try new things, and able to enjoy life in a way I simply couldn't when I was always waiting for five o'clock to hit. I am looking forward to seeing how these changes continue in the coming months of my recovery. When I was drinking, I had forgotten how to do things without alcohol. Six months in, I can enjoy live music, go out to a restaurant, cook dinner, spend time with my family, deal with a bad day or an unpleasant encounter . . all without the crutch of booze. My life is now much more even.
I have never ONCE looked back at these six months and thought, "well, on such and such day it would have been nice to have a glass of wine." Although it is sometimes difficult in the moment if drinking is involved in a social situation, I have no regrets about this change in my life, at all, and I do not miss all those nights I spent drinking alone (or "alone" even if I was around people, since that was how I often felt). Furthermore, I can look back at these six months and clearly see my life -- before, everything was hazy and indistinct. I am so glad alcohol is no longer a part of my life.
Anyone out there reading this post who wants to make this radical change should know it is possible; if I can do it, you can too. Don't be afraid to hope for the best life you can have. The first days are rough but it will get easier. Someone here said that to me early on & I hoped and hoped it would be true--and it was.
Thank you so much for being there.
I found SR and joined. I am so grateful to all of you who helped me here, and the biggest thanks have to go to the moderators who keep this place running smoothly and dedicate so much of their time to helping all of us. The Class of April thread is also hugely important to me. Without SR, I extremely doubt I could have done this. The community of support means so much. I was also fortunate to see a counselor and am very fortunate to have a boyfriend who rarely drinks and understands why I can't.
In the beginning days, I couldn't imagine that I would make it this far. I would be shocked at 10 days, 12 days, 1 month. After all, I'd been drinking heavily and nightly for years and years, and also had a history of smoking, snorting, or swallowing pretty much anything around. The idea of being an adult and sober seemed too bizarrely contradictory to imagine, since I've been abusing substances regularly since my teens (although alcohol far eclipsed anything else).
The changes in my life over the past six months are astounding. In terms of external changes, I've cut my debt in half, lost twenty-five pounds, and taken much better care of myself. The internal changes are much bigger. I used to walk around feeling paranoid and insecure, anxious and ill-fated. And though life isn't exactly a breeze now, I feel much more open, hopeful, comfortable around people, willing to try new things, and able to enjoy life in a way I simply couldn't when I was always waiting for five o'clock to hit. I am looking forward to seeing how these changes continue in the coming months of my recovery. When I was drinking, I had forgotten how to do things without alcohol. Six months in, I can enjoy live music, go out to a restaurant, cook dinner, spend time with my family, deal with a bad day or an unpleasant encounter . . all without the crutch of booze. My life is now much more even.
I have never ONCE looked back at these six months and thought, "well, on such and such day it would have been nice to have a glass of wine." Although it is sometimes difficult in the moment if drinking is involved in a social situation, I have no regrets about this change in my life, at all, and I do not miss all those nights I spent drinking alone (or "alone" even if I was around people, since that was how I often felt). Furthermore, I can look back at these six months and clearly see my life -- before, everything was hazy and indistinct. I am so glad alcohol is no longer a part of my life.
Anyone out there reading this post who wants to make this radical change should know it is possible; if I can do it, you can too. Don't be afraid to hope for the best life you can have. The first days are rough but it will get easier. Someone here said that to me early on & I hoped and hoped it would be true--and it was.
Thank you so much for being there.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
What a great post!
I'm almost 10 months sober and it's been mostly awkard and painful, but I do have days where everything feels peaceful, so progress is being made for sure.
Congrats!
I'm almost 10 months sober and it's been mostly awkard and painful, but I do have days where everything feels peaceful, so progress is being made for sure.
Congrats!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
OMG you sound so much like me!!! I feel the same about really living these days and not just existing in a sickening fog. And the biggest thing for me is waking up every morning NOT SICK AS HELL!!! I get hysterically happy when I wake up feeling good!
I salute you and give you a big hug for your six months sober!!
Sure feels good to feel good again, doesn't it?
Thank you for sharing your positive feelings. It makes me feel so good to read stuff like this. :-)
I salute you and give you a big hug for your six months sober!!
Sure feels good to feel good again, doesn't it?Thank you for sharing your positive feelings. It makes me feel so good to read stuff like this. :-)
Congrats with your sober time AG!
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