lkc2010

I simply went out and got totally smashed. I feel HORRIBLE today. Hung over and very very sad. I was doing so well and then made a total mess of my progress. So I'm back at one day.

I feel more positive then ever now that I have to do this. Stay sober that is. I had surgery Wed and I have stitches. I was out very very late at bars that I don't like and shouldn't have been at and blew a lot of money. I scratched my car and drove into the garage door to the building. That'll be an expensive mistake. I'm healing physically and I don't know WHY it every crossed my mind to have wine last night. Stupid me.

I need to be sober. I'm a better person in every single way when Im sober. I don't like feeling this way and I hope that this is the day, my new bottom, that'll ring in my ears.

I texted my sponsor to let her know. I'm telling you all of this bc I need strength but also as a reminder to myself that this has got to stop and stop now.

Anna

Hi,

Use this experience to learn and to move forward.

I'm glad you're back.

Kmber2010

Welcome back lkc.

You shared your reasons for wanting to stop and the good things you found in sobriety. Take from this and apply it to your new start. Know that there will never be a perfect or great day to quit so no need to look for bottoms or anything like that. Anything can be far worse then what it is.

You fell.....you are picking up....you have the desire to do this. Stay committed and reach out for support. I found that face to face support was extremely helpful in getting into recovery. There are many options available and there is plenty of good info here for you to read through.

Hang in there...you can do this. Today is a new day my friend.

chickonabike

I feel like that today as well. I went two days and then caved in.

YOU CAN DO THIS! Hearing that you have been two weeks sober is such an inspiration to me right now! You don't even understand.

Thanks for sharing and your positivity is wonderful and inspirational.

Carrie36

Good job coming back here and posting. My first relapse I was too ashamed to own it, well, that did me no good and cost me a year of my life.

Today is a brand new day!

shaun00

2 perfect weeks of sobriety..........and yet you still drank.

think about that for a second.........does that not suggest to you that maybe your powerless over alcohol even when your not drinking?...

what does this statement suggest to you........."no mental defence against the first drink"...

you sound like a alcoholic of my type.....i was doomed to drink it even when i had some dry time under my belt.....

Its great you have a sponsor........is he/she gonna guide you through the steps?

Itchy

lkc,
Great! You fell off the horse and are getting back on it. Ouch! Sorry about the expensive damage to your wheels. 25 days here and been drinking more than I should for almost 31 years, very badly the last year and a half. That was when I retired again and decided it was oK to wake up and start the day with two cups of coffee each with a shot and a half of scotch in them, and then since I didn't have to leave home started drinking beer by 9:00 AM and all day. My wife would pick up my beer since she was still working, and I could read and do my retirement thing but drinking that much turned out to be a very bad idea. I paced myself for one or two an hour but towards the last three months started getting drunk more often. As If I could control it.

That was when I got as determined as you sound, to do whatever it takes and did it. I hope I make it without a relapse not even one, but I'll be danged if I am going to be a slave to my desire for something good from alcohol which starts out OK but then gets everybody in the end that can't stop at one, or won't.

You can fix everything on the car and get sober, and since you came here immediately I have no doubt you are gonna make it! Keep remembering what YOU want, not the little voice that cravings seem to operate with in our heads.

Welcome back to the front lines!

least

I'm glad you're starting over again. I too wrecked my sober time over and over and thought I was hopeless. But this last time (the last time) something was different. And I've stayed sober now for over ten months. It feels great! And if an ol' relapser like me can stay sober, so can you!

Dee74

I'm glad you're ok LKC - sounds like a big night - I'm glad nothing worse happened.
Welcome back

D

CarolD

Welcome back......
Sorry to know you injured yourself.

When you get back to AA....I strongly suggest
you and your sponsor begin Step work.
Step 1 ....back to basics.....

Take good care of yourself....hope you quickly heal.

lkc2010

You guys are the best - thanks for the replies. I'm off to a meeting (right now) and my sponsor suggested I do 30 in 30 (that's an AA meeting everyday for a month). I'm gonna give it a whirl. I've started working the steps w/ my sponsor; I'm on step 2.

Ya, I'm glad nothing worse happened too. It totally could have - I got lucky again. Totally embarrassing.

It is actually really nice that chickonabike found inspiration in my post. That did a world of good for me. I'm glad that I could help.

I'll be back to the forum for sure & regularly. I sign in frequently to the posts and they're really helpful to me. Thanks again to everyone.

artsoul

Hope your meeting was good. It's hard to feel like we're starting all over again, but look at it in a positive light. You succeeded for 2 weeks and came back right away after a slip. That's a positive in my book.

Heal quickly and don't forget to take it one day at a time!