hi :)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 14
hi :)
hii, so I actually joined here when I was 18 but never came back. Now I'm turning 20 in a few days and just hate the fact that i'm still that girl that takes absolutely everything too far. i've never in my life been able to stop after one of anything.
i havent even been sober a day, but i'd like to be more than anything.
am totally overwhelmed by everything right now, including this place, so am sorry if this is totally wrong.
i havent even been sober a day, but i'd like to be more than anything.
am totally overwhelmed by everything right now, including this place, so am sorry if this is totally wrong.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
I am new here too (even though you joined a while back, but you know what I mean) but am a bit older than you (36 - my how time flies). My heart breaks for you and I want to give you a ginormous hug. I don't really have words of wisdom to offer you, but the people here are absolutely amazing and someone will be along soon to help you.
I guess the thing is - like most things in life you want to change - you really, really need to *want* that change in order to make it happen. Folks here will tell you that you need to surrender to the fact that you really have no control over what you are doing and you need to get help - doctor, friend, counsellor, god, higher power - all of it.
Just so you know what I did - I broke down, wrote a letter to my doctor, went to my doctor (p1ssed I might add), she gave me some great B vits and some diazepam to take the edge / danger off of detox (word of warning - detox CAN be dangerous - you need help with this), got a referral to alcohol counsellor (just been the once this week) and, apart from making a bit of a pig's @rse of it the first couple of weeks, I am now sober and am starting to feel a LOT better. Oh, and I have been praying every day - and I'm not even particularly religious. Not everyone's story is the same, for sure, but anyway.
I can't offer any medical advice, of course, but with you saying you are totally overwhelmed by everything, it just reminds me so much of me. I often use the word overwhelmed when I really am down / depressed and / or stuck in any addiction cycle or any kind.
Take care tinypeach. x
I guess the thing is - like most things in life you want to change - you really, really need to *want* that change in order to make it happen. Folks here will tell you that you need to surrender to the fact that you really have no control over what you are doing and you need to get help - doctor, friend, counsellor, god, higher power - all of it.
Just so you know what I did - I broke down, wrote a letter to my doctor, went to my doctor (p1ssed I might add), she gave me some great B vits and some diazepam to take the edge / danger off of detox (word of warning - detox CAN be dangerous - you need help with this), got a referral to alcohol counsellor (just been the once this week) and, apart from making a bit of a pig's @rse of it the first couple of weeks, I am now sober and am starting to feel a LOT better. Oh, and I have been praying every day - and I'm not even particularly religious. Not everyone's story is the same, for sure, but anyway.
I can't offer any medical advice, of course, but with you saying you are totally overwhelmed by everything, it just reminds me so much of me. I often use the word overwhelmed when I really am down / depressed and / or stuck in any addiction cycle or any kind.
Take care tinypeach. x
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 160
Hi Tinypeach. I have the exact same personality. Everything is either not done at all, or to excess. I cannot just have one biscuit, I eat the whole pack. I cannot just have one glass of wine, I have to drink the whole bottle and sometimes more. Lost a lot of weight over the last year by moderating my intake of food. But this seemed to make me drink even more.
This place is brilliant as a source of support and I have met some wonderful people here who understand exactly what we are going through. Dont drink today; just for today. And then tomorrow you can decide to do the same again. The trick is to keep saying no to the first drink. I found it really difficult to get one day sober. I now have 26 of them (not a lot I know but for ME, thats amazing). You can do this! Keep reading and posting :-)
This place is brilliant as a source of support and I have met some wonderful people here who understand exactly what we are going through. Dont drink today; just for today. And then tomorrow you can decide to do the same again. The trick is to keep saying no to the first drink. I found it really difficult to get one day sober. I now have 26 of them (not a lot I know but for ME, thats amazing). You can do this! Keep reading and posting :-)
Drunk in Recovery
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by tinypeach 
i'm still that girl that takes absolutely everything too far. i've never in my life been able to stop after one of anything.
At some point in your recovery, you might check out Caroline Knapp's book Hunger: Why Women Want (her book Drinking: A Love Story is another great read).
Welcome to SR, and please do keep sharing your thoughts here. What kind of help are you looking for right now?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 80
TinyPeach,
Welcome! Deep breaths and first thing's first. You're absolutely doing the RIGHT thing in acknowledging how you feel, identifying the problem, and taking a step forward towards making a change so that you can feel better about your life. What you're doing is excellent work and you shouldn't be overwhelmed - like many things, it's a process and takes time and you're SO young!
I didn't start drinking until I was a little older (21), but would have been so much better off stopping much earlier than now (I'm 33). We share a common personality trait with being all or nothing and taking things to the extreme. I know that for me, it's made for wonderful successes and humbling achievements when applied to positive things, but also led to steady decline into depression due to my drinking to excess on a formerly regular basis. I wish I had been as wise as you at your age in recognizing the toll drinking had on my life. For a long time, I failed to see the link to the depression I suffered and how I was undermining all the hard work I was putting into other areas of my life.
You have a great starting point - the desire and will to be alcohol free. It's not an easy process, and at the beginning, as others have suggested, because detoxing can be dangerous, you should seek the help of a doctor. However, it does get much better. If I can do it, anyone can.
Be well and be good to yourself as you begin to make this change in your life! :ghug3
Welcome! Deep breaths and first thing's first. You're absolutely doing the RIGHT thing in acknowledging how you feel, identifying the problem, and taking a step forward towards making a change so that you can feel better about your life. What you're doing is excellent work and you shouldn't be overwhelmed - like many things, it's a process and takes time and you're SO young!
I didn't start drinking until I was a little older (21), but would have been so much better off stopping much earlier than now (I'm 33). We share a common personality trait with being all or nothing and taking things to the extreme. I know that for me, it's made for wonderful successes and humbling achievements when applied to positive things, but also led to steady decline into depression due to my drinking to excess on a formerly regular basis. I wish I had been as wise as you at your age in recognizing the toll drinking had on my life. For a long time, I failed to see the link to the depression I suffered and how I was undermining all the hard work I was putting into other areas of my life.
You have a great starting point - the desire and will to be alcohol free. It's not an easy process, and at the beginning, as others have suggested, because detoxing can be dangerous, you should seek the help of a doctor. However, it does get much better. If I can do it, anyone can.
Be well and be good to yourself as you begin to make this change in your life! :ghug3
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,753
Welcome back!
And don't be sorry, you're not 'totally wrong', you're totally right to ask for help for your drinking.
I'm a lot older than you and started drinking much later in life... but it still did me damage and I'm glad, so glad, I stopped ten months ago.
Seeing your doctor for a safe detox is a good idea as withdrawal from alcohol can indeed be dangerous.
Having some sort of plan or 'program' for staying sober is also a good idea. I'm staying sober using this site and my fantastic addiction counselor. But whatever you do to stay sober, put your whole heart and soul into it.
And don't be sorry, you're not 'totally wrong', you're totally right to ask for help for your drinking. I'm a lot older than you and started drinking much later in life... but it still did me damage and I'm glad, so glad, I stopped ten months ago.
Seeing your doctor for a safe detox is a good idea as withdrawal from alcohol can indeed be dangerous.Having some sort of plan or 'program' for staying sober is also a good idea. I'm staying sober using this site and my fantastic addiction counselor. But whatever you do to stay sober, put your whole heart and soul into it.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome back
And an early.......
Starting your new year by seeking sobriety
can be the best gift you will ever have
Putting your mind set into a healthy
future is a win win deal
And an early.......
Starting your new year by seeking sobriety
can be the best gift you will ever have
Putting your mind set into a healthy
future is a win win deal
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi tinypeach - I know how hard it is to reach out for help, but none of us can do this alone. Do you have any family support or a doctor you can talk to?
The problem with drinking is that it creates its own version of depression and anxiety (which gets really bad because we're always withdrawing every time we have a hangover). So it does seem really overwhelming at first.
It's scary, but sometimes we just have to say "I can't do this" and reach out to others who love us. I'll bet there are lots of people who care about you and would want to help. And we're here too, and we understand what you're going through. Keep reading and posting - if we can get sober, you can to!
The problem with drinking is that it creates its own version of depression and anxiety (which gets really bad because we're always withdrawing every time we have a hangover). So it does seem really overwhelming at first.
It's scary, but sometimes we just have to say "I can't do this" and reach out to others who love us. I'll bet there are lots of people who care about you and would want to help. And we're here too, and we understand what you're going through. Keep reading and posting - if we can get sober, you can to!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 14
thanks so much for all the welcomes. it amazes me to find people who relate to me in any way, i'm so used to feeling an alien amongst my friends.
my family don't know much, we have a very strange relationship. i see them all the time and we are close, i suppose (in a very shallow, lets never speak of anything serious kind of way), but they know nothing of my life. and i'm a bit terrified of doctors, but do have one i can contact if needed. i let a few people close to me know that i'm attempting to stop, just so i don't get invited to all their gatherings, which are basically an excuse to get really high and/or drunk.
i have 1 day of no alcohol so far, not including today (early morning here)
zero days without pills
i don't think it'll be too dangerous for me, stopping i mean, i'm sure i'm not at that stage yet. hopefully today will go well.
thanks for the welcome
my family don't know much, we have a very strange relationship. i see them all the time and we are close, i suppose (in a very shallow, lets never speak of anything serious kind of way), but they know nothing of my life. and i'm a bit terrified of doctors, but do have one i can contact if needed. i let a few people close to me know that i'm attempting to stop, just so i don't get invited to all their gatherings, which are basically an excuse to get really high and/or drunk.
i have 1 day of no alcohol so far, not including today (early morning here)
zero days without pills
i don't think it'll be too dangerous for me, stopping i mean, i'm sure i'm not at that stage yet. hopefully today will go well.
thanks for the welcome
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: home
Posts: 205
I know what it's like to feel like an "alien" among friends. If you are in school I would highly suggest going to a counselor and ask for help- and obviously talk to your doctor. If you don't have anyone you can "really" talk to about real things a counselor/therapist will be able to help a lot. I've been going to both and it's been really nice to have someone to tell my "real feelings" to in person...It really helps to actually say things you are scared to even think out loud to another person and have them actually listen.
Good luck!
Good luck!
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