How many here, have a partner/wife/hubby still drinkin everyday even though you Quit?
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
Thanks a lot you guys, for some good imput on this topic, for us i gotta say love turned to companionship..but thats ok, in fact, we got an adorable daughter,cool house, we are like buddies, we look out for each other...romance well thats gone..too soppy anyhow that stuff..
, holding my sobriety most important of all, and just maybe she,ll come round to seeing the benefits and cut with the drinkin too.
, holding my sobriety most important of all, and just maybe she,ll come round to seeing the benefits and cut with the drinkin too.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by lildawg 
<raises hand>
When I met my husband in 1991, he drank. For approximately 17 years, I drank with him. Then, I quit. I'm the one who changed, not him. I can't expect him to change just because I did. I liked what Bellakeller said about keeping her side of the street clean. That's sort of what I do. I let him tend to his drinking, and I tend to my not drinking.
Right now, his drinking is bearable to me. He is never mean or abusive. In fact, I can rarely even tell he's been drinking. He probably has about 4 drinks over the course of the evening on week nights. On weekends, this might be more like 8 drinks over the course of the day. Granted, I'm not sure how much he drinks. I'm just guessing. I refuse to play alcohol police. I just can't do that and keep my sanity.
However . . . if Husband were drunk (and unbearable) every night, I might have to reconsider my stance. Because I'm not in this situation, I am not sure what I'd do. I know I can't "make" him quit drinking. If it was too unbearable, I might have to leave the relationship. Again, I just don't know.
The only direct advice I can give you is tend to your own business. Don't clean up after any drunken messes (either physical or emotional) your spouse makes. When she's drunk, and, if it bothers you, stay away from her. Of course, this may lead you to assess how much of a relationship you're really having, but you have to cross that bridge when you get to it.
(((kerbcrawler)))
When I met my husband in 1991, he drank. For approximately 17 years, I drank with him. Then, I quit. I'm the one who changed, not him. I can't expect him to change just because I did. I liked what Bellakeller said about keeping her side of the street clean. That's sort of what I do. I let him tend to his drinking, and I tend to my not drinking.
Right now, his drinking is bearable to me. He is never mean or abusive. In fact, I can rarely even tell he's been drinking. He probably has about 4 drinks over the course of the evening on week nights. On weekends, this might be more like 8 drinks over the course of the day. Granted, I'm not sure how much he drinks. I'm just guessing. I refuse to play alcohol police. I just can't do that and keep my sanity.
However . . . if Husband were drunk (and unbearable) every night, I might have to reconsider my stance. Because I'm not in this situation, I am not sure what I'd do. I know I can't "make" him quit drinking. If it was too unbearable, I might have to leave the relationship. Again, I just don't know.
The only direct advice I can give you is tend to your own business. Don't clean up after any drunken messes (either physical or emotional) your spouse makes. When she's drunk, and, if it bothers you, stay away from her. Of course, this may lead you to assess how much of a relationship you're really having, but you have to cross that bridge when you get to it.
(((kerbcrawler)))
Same here. Although I don't have an alcohol problem, I had a chemical dependance on xanax. My recovery is quite strong and I do not have any desires to take that medication. Ever.
My DH drinks, a little more than kerbcrawler. I don't police it. I don't manage it. I don't clean up after it. There isn't anything to clean up, he doesn't act like an idiot and we hardly ever fuss.
I have found myself detaching. It sucks, and it's sad. But I do what I have to do to enjoy my peace of mind, and that's not worring about him.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
Sure my wife drinks.
she one of those strange people that forget they have a glass of wine on the coffee table.
and even stranger she can have one glass and goes to bed......AND there is still 3/4 in the fridge...very odd.
she will even pick a bottle for the taste and not the alcohol content.
my point is.......its me with the problem........its me with the strange allergy..
i had to get to grips with my problem.........i had to solve my lack of power..
she one of those strange people that forget they have a glass of wine on the coffee table.
and even stranger she can have one glass and goes to bed......AND there is still 3/4 in the fridge...very odd.
she will even pick a bottle for the taste and not the alcohol content.
my point is.......its me with the problem........its me with the strange allergy..
i had to get to grips with my problem.........i had to solve my lack of power..
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
