Some AA meetings suck and some are great!
 

Why is that? I'm doing the 90 in 90 and some meetings seem so full of anger and frustration. Then, there are some meetings where I absolutely love listening to people and feel like it's a pep rally.

Do you take what you want and leave the negative stuff behind? There are times where I sense a feeling of resentment building inside me when some people are so negative. I really feel like it attempts to crush my sober-buzz.

What are the tricks to spin things into a positive? Or is it just the nature of the disease and you have to hear negativity in order to appreciate the greatness of sobriety?

I go to few meetings nowadays, but really like my home group, which is a discussion meeting. I always gain some insight from what the others say. Sometimes there are very negative shares which I just ignore. I take what I need and leave the rest. Remember, AA is a great program but some of the members ain't all that wonderful.;) Just like real life, you'll find some you like and some you don't. I just stick to the meetings I like and don't go to the others.

Since AA is full of all kinds of people, with only one requirement for membership (which is a desire to stop drinking), then you're going to get a small sampling of life in general.

It's more of a direct result from people and life in general - this is what life is.

Also, keep in mind that you're viewing the world from your perspective. What may seem like a bad meeting to you, might be a great meeting for the person who sat right next to you.

Take what you can, leave the rest, and stick with the winners!

Kjell is right. I hate pep rallies....:a122:

One thing good that came out of the 90 in 90 for me was that I got to sample a bunch of meetings and I could find out which ones I was gonna attend regularly...

Some meetings are better than others.

When you are tired of listening that is when you need to serve. That is the fellowship. To stay sober you must serve. Yesterday was a meeting that brought me from feeling great to feeling average, I tried to stay warm, give a short precise message (about how gross my body felt after relapse, how if nothing else putting a shirt that doesn't smell like sweat and booze is nice). Some suck, but you are there to serve. This post is to hammer this home to myself for sure!

Why wouldn't it be like that? AA is comprised of people.

Once I began to understand that the people at the meetings were people just like me, then I was able to deal better with the context of the meeting, good and bad.

My attitude today is that the only meeting I regret is the one I missed, because I don't know what I missed by not being there.

Some meetings are just like that.

Ask yourself what YOU bring to the meeting? It isn't all about what you can get out of it. Do you have a home group? As McRibb suggested, some service work (making coffee, helping to set up or clean up, acting as your group's Intergroup rep or literature rep--all of which you don't need a lot of sobriety to take on) can help get you more involved.

Get a couple of other guys who want to explore other meetings. I know a few people who made it an adventure--a road trip.

Negative people at meetings can teach you tolerance, and also illustrate how much better it is to share the solution at meetings than to vent your problems (which is better done with a sponsor). Speaking of which, do you have a sponsor yet?

I'm sorry for probably asking a stupid question, but even me, being just over 2 months sober, can be serving by being at the meeting and sharing?

Thanks, Lex. Yes, I do have a sponsor. And that is the topic of my next thread I need to start.

I've done the same; I am blessed right now with having a lot of choices while I am in the states (when I go back to my island home, there is pretty much only ONE group option -- I hope I like it). I was very fortunate that my first week of meetings were all "good" -- then there were a few that didn't do it for me. I thought maybe it was just me, that the novelty of AA had worn off -- and then I went to a couple more that I thought were great.

I enjoy going to meetings where there are a lot of people "just like me", and I also enjoy going to meetings with people who have very different backgrounds from mine -- because we still have a ton in common, and the message they share comes in a different wrapping from mine, so I often see it in a different way. I like having a lot of variety, at least for now.

Some meetings really do suck and have very little to do with AA. And some of those meetings feel great for the hour, but do nothing to help the newcomer recover.

I've been in meetings where there was so much love in the room you wanted to burst. They felt great. But, that's all they were. There was little someone could take home expect for a warm fuzzy feeling. Warm fuzzy feelings are not sufficient to recover from alcoholism.

I would encourage you to find a 'group', not a meeting, that is dedicated to the common solution in AA instead of just the common problem of alcoholism.

i Love Meetings where i get a Powerful Shot of Good A.A. it has helped me stay sober Going on 4 Years Now! nothing Better For a Real Alcoholic!

If someone has worked the steps, continues to do so to the best of their ability and has gotten a spiritual awakening along the way it is really obvious to anyone else who has done the same...even sometimes a couple of non-recovery related sentences will give it away...

As a newcomer it is very difficult to see this, it was for me as people's shares may sound much the same...this is due to the simple fact that even if you are not working the program of AA one will pick up the lingo and even be able to recite the Big Book better than someone who has...

All i heard was people being negative and positive...i didn't take into account that my perceived negativity of a share could be flipped over and be seen as a positive, e.g. if a recovered alcoholic is going through a rough time and is sharing about it and say makes a brief final comment about the AA program is that a negative share or a positive one because they have highlighted how under any circumstances we do not need to drink and can now handle life on lifes terms?

Also if someone hasn't worked the program of AA it is nigh on impossible for me, even though i would like to think i can, to tell how that person behaves outside the rooms...example i have met top blokes in AA who are seemingly happy all the time and then go home and give the wife and kids a good slap (i got sober in a very small place) and i have met miserable gits who i have seen volunteering at weekends to help others!

Being open minded, checking with your sponsor about whether the information you pick up in meetings is something to take on board or leave and keep working or start working on the steps is a great was for you to move forward:-)

ps. and some meetings are just pretty rubbish...but as my sponsor would say "so what did you do to make it a good meeting *apply swear word of choice*":-)

Yeah get involved in a group that is to your liking. I went to my first meeting recently and it was a large group of people who didnt seem to meet up afterwards. I thought that this was a bit strange seeing as the fellowship among recovering alcoholics should be strong. The next meeting i went to was out of town and it turned out to be a smaller more personal group of people who really care about each other. I hit the jackpot.

No.......i just look for a meeting that talks more of a solution.

or shift my focus from the stories......to who sitting in the back row and tearing their hair out.

Its fair to say ive had a love hate affair with some forms of meetings dressed up as AA for years.

my sponsor would shake his head and say "none of your business soft lad
stop whining and look how you can be of use."

he was a solid big book guy.........and was at the most negative meeting in town......why........because he knew it was the right place to catch hold of the suffering alkie like me with no vital information and no idea of a solution.

I only went to aa meeting for about a 4-6 weeks when I first quit drinking and I was asked to share at just about every meeting I went to, sometimes I declined but usually I shared something brief. One day I went to a lunchtime meeting which I'd never been to, there were few people there and only 1 other woman who sat in the back row with me. I had to leave about 10 minutes early to get back to work and was trying to slip out quietly, as I passed this young woman she said "you really helped me the other night", I looked around thinking she must be talking to someone else and said "excuse me?" she repeated herself and specifically mentioned part of my story. I was in total shock that I had helped someone! I left that room that day on cloud 9! knowing that something I said helped someone else was amazing, and 3 yrs later I still feel good about that! You never know what someone else might relate to, you just might save a life.

The old timers can't recall how crappy it was out there, so it was still is my job to share my truth. That it is hell out there drinking not working a program.