WHY!!!!! Why cant I have just one or two?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 237
WHY!!!!! Why cant I have just one or two?
Why can everyone else seem to have just a few but I cant... ARRRRRRFGGGGGG.. its soooo frustrating. I havent crashed cars, thrown up on lawns or made an ass of myself (well maybe a few times). But I cant stop at 1 or 2. I almost always drink at least 8 or 10 beers (start out with friends or at a function but finish off at home). Um thats alot more than normal, right? 2 or 3 times a week.... but then theres the question.. is it enough to make me an alck?
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
The classic answer to that is what happens to you when you drink, not how much you drink.
For me, an alcoholic, alcohol was my medicine: anti-depressant, sleeping pill, upper, downer, whatever. I had something missing, like a big hole in my soul, and I filled it with alcohol. I would feel better for a little while, then the hours and days that followed would plunge me into deeper misery and my medicine became my poison.
For me, an alcoholic, alcohol was my medicine: anti-depressant, sleeping pill, upper, downer, whatever. I had something missing, like a big hole in my soul, and I filled it with alcohol. I would feel better for a little while, then the hours and days that followed would plunge me into deeper misery and my medicine became my poison.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,352
You already know the answers Shelly.
Like LaF says - what you call yourself is up to you but...you've tried, you can't moderate, and....lemme tell you, the traffic is all one way from here - it doesn't get any better...only worse.
It's not fair, it sucks - but it is what it is - and none of us can beat it.
You'll never be the same again, Shelly.
But you can be better - if you put your mind to accepting your reality and not fighting it.
D
Like LaF says - what you call yourself is up to you but...you've tried, you can't moderate, and....lemme tell you, the traffic is all one way from here - it doesn't get any better...only worse.
It's not fair, it sucks - but it is what it is - and none of us can beat it.
You'll never be the same again, Shelly.
But you can be better - if you put your mind to accepting your reality and not fighting it.
D
Last edited by Dee74; 10-13-2010 at 03:23 AM.
Drunk in Recovery
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 143
Check out the book "Under the Influence" for some ideas on why you can't drink like a "normal" person when others can.
Not being able to control your drinking, whatever you want to call yourself, is an unhealthy habit. If you would like to change it before something really bad happens, great! Too many people wait until it does, though. For me, plenty of bad things were already happening -- nothing to the point of getting thrown in jail, but I just wouldn't open my eyes to see how much of my problems really related to my drinking.
Not being able to control your drinking, whatever you want to call yourself, is an unhealthy habit. If you would like to change it before something really bad happens, great! Too many people wait until it does, though. For me, plenty of bad things were already happening -- nothing to the point of getting thrown in jail, but I just wouldn't open my eyes to see how much of my problems really related to my drinking.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
I felt like that up until recently. I have a facebook friend who alternates updates about his runs with pictures of what he's drinking. I have to assume he doesn't drink to excess if he pulls of running 10 miles the next morning or whatever. Anyway it used to pain me. Like I would feel a physical yearning for the ability to just split a bottle of wine with my husband and call it a night.
I don't know what happened but I don't feel like that anymore. I never thought I would feel this way. I thought going without alcohol would always feel like deprivation.
There is hope!
I don't know what happened but I don't feel like that anymore. I never thought I would feel this way. I thought going without alcohol would always feel like deprivation.
There is hope!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by shelly009 
But I cant stop at 1 or 2. I almost always drink at least 8 or 10 beers (start out with friends or at a function but finish off at home).
I understand this as a 'physical allergy', an abnormal reaction to alcohol that produces a craving for more once I ingest it. My only solution is complete abstinence.
quotes from aabb1st
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Shelly, it's not how much you drink or even how often, it's more about what happens to you when you drink. For me, I lost control and couldn't stop drinking, even though I tried really hard.
And, another thing to keep in mind, is that alcoholism is a progressive disease, and it will get worse unless you stop.
I hope you keep reading and posting.
And, another thing to keep in mind, is that alcoholism is a progressive disease, and it will get worse unless you stop.
I hope you keep reading and posting.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: DE
Posts: 48
Alcoholics are unlike others. We alcoholics are powerless over alcohol and cannot moderate, stop at one or two. It took me many painful and hellish years to finally realize and accept it but once I did, I felt liberated. A lot of things didn't happen "Yet" but they will if you continue to drink.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,755
I too used to feel 'deprived' 'cause I couldn't have 'just a couple'... then I realized that I don't want to have 'just a couple'... I want to get drunk. I've got ten months sober now and honestly don't miss it any more. 
I'm just glad I no longer drink or want to drink. I'm not missing anything but bad things, and the risk just isn't worth it.
I'm just glad I no longer drink or want to drink. I'm not missing anything but bad things, and the risk just isn't worth it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 651
Why can everyone else seem to have just a few but I cant..
As far as it being "unfair" for us drunks....well I thought about that when I stopped. This is how I deal with it.
In Darfur, a province in The Sudan, there is genocide, mass rape, and legalized slavery going on right now. In this city we have a very respected childrens hospital filled with 5 year olds dying of cancer. There is plenty of real suffering going on in the world. These are just two examples.
So when the world starts handing out appolagies us poor alcoholics who can't drink like other people will be in the back of a very long line.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Because you just can't Shelly. I "only" drank 2-4 times a week, I never woke up wanting a drink, I never got arrested, always had a great job, didn't have relationship problems because of my drinking, for the most part I felt I was harming no one but myself. But when I drank I drank more than I intended, more than whomever I was with, more than I could handle, I drank generally until I passed out which was after I already blacked out... My psychiatrist who was also an addiction specialist said I drank to "self medicate", I had issues... Am I was I an "alcoholic"? Some would say no- some would say yes; I don't know-- but I do know I had a drinking problem as I was rarely able to have just 1-2 glasses of wine I didn't seem to know when to stop. I nearly succeeded in ending my life before I accepted the fact that I can't drink just 1 or 2 it's just not possible for me. The reference to be "allergic" to alcohol rings true for me and to me it's just like if I was told I was allergic to shellfish or nuts I would easily accept that I can't eat those things not ever, I'm allergic to alcohol end of story.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by shelly009
I often say that I 'self medicate'. I dont have any ailments though. Not valid enough.
Ailments... would irritability, restlessness and discontentment count? I never thought I had any "ailments" either. But there was a void, a hole, a smear over my psyche.... I found validation in a careful and rigorously honest journey of self appraisal.
Sometimes when I am lost in the forest I only see the trees.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
Hi Shelly, Welcome Back!!
I wondered that too, and it's just something you have to come to terms with...we just aren't like others who can.....it's like any other addict...why can I eat just one cookie and a person who has a food addiction finishes the whole box?? why can I walk away from a slot machine...while gambling addicts spend their entire paycheck?? we are wired in a way that we can't just cant have one drink....everyone has their "stuff" we just have to name it..to claim it......
xoxox
I wondered that too, and it's just something you have to come to terms with...we just aren't like others who can.....it's like any other addict...why can I eat just one cookie and a person who has a food addiction finishes the whole box?? why can I walk away from a slot machine...while gambling addicts spend their entire paycheck?? we are wired in a way that we can't just cant have one drink....everyone has their "stuff" we just have to name it..to claim it......
xoxox
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