Kmber2010

Shelly, I banged my head against the wall for years trying to answer that one and thinking somehow I could do it.

I found that as I went along trying to do it different each day....the results were the same if not worse.

I found accepting it and finding a solution in sobriety to be the only answer. I also discovered.....I like me a lot more and my life is blessed without that bottle in my life.

As long as I harped on the why, I was never going to get to the solution.

shelly009

Thanks so much everyone... this post has been sooo helpful.

I do need to own it. I know whats going on... Ive known for years. Id like to think I am different and can control it. Sounds like everyone thinks that at some point.

Vegas should be interesting sober (going for a friends birthday for 2 days in Nov)

loveon2legs

Vegas sober??? oh Shelly....

augustwest

i had to realize that "why" doesn't amount to a hill of beans. It is what it is, and accepting my condition opens the door to doing something about it. Fairness is irrelevant too. Life's not "fair". Hell, if it was, they'd have me locked underneath the jail so i ain't complaining.

ineedtochange

I know that I can't because I have tried many times, and over the years it has got progressively worse.

CarolD

You and your husband have 2 precious children to guide
portect and lead by example.

I'm not implying your children are neglected.
I'm simply pointing out what's really important.

racinstalldev

For years I have had the same thoughts as you, Shelly.

I always had this impression that an alcoholic was one who HAD to drink every day, morning until night... no matter what. The fact that I could take days off meant that I was fine. Like you, I had no major issues caused by drinking, although I did have my share of getting sick over the years.

However, I was always the type who had to drink a large quantity once I started with one or two.

I finally realized that my impression of an alcoholic was flawed, it can also be someone like myself, who cannot stop once I start. The fact that I would end a Saturday or Sunday with beer #21 or 22 just didn't seem normal to me.

Also, while I haven't crashed a car, I almost did, with my 2 daughters in the back. I thought I was fine, but I was so far from it.

Thank God nothing bad happened to them.

Why did I put them at risk??? I couldn't stop. Even knowing I had to drive my family home, I couldn't stop.

The only way to stop after one or two, for people like us, is to stop at zero. Its so much easier to stop at zero than one or more.

So, are you officially an "alck" because you always drink 8 - 10 beers? Maybe so, maybe not... but does the name really matter? I think anybody will agree that you have a drinking problem.

I will tell you from experience, that 8 - 10 beers soon will not be enough. You'll either be up to 18 at a time, or switch to liquor to feed your addiction. Better to stop earlier than later, before its too late.

BanjoBob

We don't have just one or two because, very simply, we don't want just one or two.