Are There Unhealthy Recovery Groups?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Theresa:
Hope you have found a congenial group. I have spent some time observing the plurality of these groups and the longer I do it the more they seem to me to resemble packs, that is herds of elephants, wolves, lions, etc. Often there is a person who from long standing attendance seems to be a sort of pack leader.His or her behavior may have a proprietary cast to it. Or there may be one or two of that variety. If the pack leader happens to say something which you find annoying or out of line, I find the best thing to do is to absorb and evaluate this information, think it over since it may contain a grain of truth, more or less go with the flow and see how others in the group fare, but always keep in mind that you can try another group. If you're in a large, metropolitan area, or near one, then there is often a variety from which to choose. So at least for me I think that the bottom line is to keep an open mind if possible, choose a tactful response wherever possible and keep your options open. Sometimes it's surprising what can be learned from an experience which may seem troublesome to begin with. Good luck.
W.
Hope you have found a congenial group. I have spent some time observing the plurality of these groups and the longer I do it the more they seem to me to resemble packs, that is herds of elephants, wolves, lions, etc. Often there is a person who from long standing attendance seems to be a sort of pack leader.His or her behavior may have a proprietary cast to it. Or there may be one or two of that variety. If the pack leader happens to say something which you find annoying or out of line, I find the best thing to do is to absorb and evaluate this information, think it over since it may contain a grain of truth, more or less go with the flow and see how others in the group fare, but always keep in mind that you can try another group. If you're in a large, metropolitan area, or near one, then there is often a variety from which to choose. So at least for me I think that the bottom line is to keep an open mind if possible, choose a tactful response wherever possible and keep your options open. Sometimes it's surprising what can be learned from an experience which may seem troublesome to begin with. Good luck.
W.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Yep. I've been around certain people at AA that could do me no good whatsoever. I've gotten bad advice, bad attitudes and the like from these people and I do not associate with them any longer. Years ago I chose a travel inconvenience so I could be with a different crowd in AA. I think it was a very good decision on my part and I've never looked back. There is definitely unhealthy "recovery" out there. So long as humans are falliable creatures there always will be.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Isaiah: I recall that when I was a year or two into recovery I happened to be leading a meeting and after I had talked about ten minutes about how I was coming along, this lady, who said she had over twenty years of sobriety, said, "I didn't come here to hear what you have to say! I came here to hear what others in the room are going to say." I was so dumbfounded that I nearly walked out and turned the meeting over to her. Interestingly, she never showed up again. And then there was the old codger who would say, "I'm just a beginner, just like the rest of you." Twenty five years of sobriety and professing to be into humility big time! One thing is certain. With AA like many other groups, you've got a cross section of humanity.
W.
W.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: ca
Posts: 25
i havent been able to get online for awhile so havent posted. since i have decided to go and focus on my recovery, disregarding others agendas, another person "confirmed" that. without going into the details of what she said, or this facilitators personal agenda, it seems to be working out ok. there are a couple of others who also are serious about their recovery, so its working out ok. in the long run it is my "Higher Power" i need to lean on and learn from, soooo. 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: los angeles, ca
Posts: 46
Yes, I think it is entirely possible to have an "unhealthy" recovery group... I personally do not go to recovery groups any longer, I havefound inspirational activities which support me in my sobriety. Groups are the sum of the people participating in them! If you find a different group of people that you resonate with, you may have a different experience.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by teresaq 
at the meeting above i started sharing again and the facilitator jumped in with what she thought i was confessing. it wasnt.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by teresaq
it seems like we can get to a place where we are "comfortable", until something comes along to knock us out of our comfort zone.
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