stanleyhouse

OOoh I loved being able to say I choose to have this friend in my life. Before I never understood that I had to honor my own boundaries before other people would. Some friends are just not good for you and to be able to say I don't want you in my life anymore is liberating.
SH

Sasha4

I think she sounds like a good friend.

She has some experience with drinking problems that run in her family.

And no, maybe you can't go to the bar. But you can do loads of other stuff together. Go paint pottery, go for a hike, go shopping etc etc.

Don't lose friends for the sake of being ashamed, when really you should'n't be.

xx

duggy

just wanted to thank you all for your feedback...

this whole get sober thing is tricky..and i'm just grateful to have made it another day..tomorrow, I hit double digits

sleep sweet my friends!

sailorjohn

Have come to believe, I don't even fully understand my own alcoholism, expecting a non-alcoholic or an alcoholic not in recovery to understand is asking a bit much.

Hevyn

Nice going, duggy. I agree with you, Sailorjohn.

I have a friend who almost lost her brother to alcoholism & he's very sick. She didn't know anything about it, but I tried to help her cope with his disease and she seemed to be getting it. She knows I'm heading towards 3 yrs. sober after a lifetime of drinking, & she's always said she's proud of me. She was coming for a vist a few wks. ago & said she couldn't wait to go to some of her favorite bars on the boardwalk. I said - "Sure, and I'll have my usual diet coke." To which she replied, "Oh, you can have just a couple by now, can't you?" Hello???

Juneof44

I get the same thing from my dad. He's very supportive of me living sober now, but he keeps saying "one day, you'll be able to sit down and have 1 glass of wine." I finally told him that I don't even know what 1 glass of wine is...it doesn't exist - the concept is completely beyond me. There is no "1 glass". There is only drink until it's gone then get more, and never stop...never stop. He still doesn't understand, but he himself is an alcoholic as well...heck it's where I get it from. How can I expect him to get it? The only way he will understand is when he offers it to me and I tell him I don't drink.

GOD I wish, 16 years ago, I would have never taken that first drink.

LaFemme

I also wish id nevera taken that first drink...I wish id stayed true to my childhood self that had a healthy fear and dislike of alcohol!

Kmber2010

I found the same thing too so what I did was remove folks from my life that no longer were healthy for me. Those that mattered somehow stuck around....and others well they just drifted away.

Good work! I know what I am and I love my sobriety. I am a better person.

Boleo

For a long time I thought it was me that was not being "fun" anymore. When I became spiritually fit enough to spend some time with drunks, I realized it was drunks who are not "fun" to be around without the benefit of being drunk as well.

Drinking lowered my threshold for entertainment to the point that I thought puking was "fun" and going for rides in police-cars and ambulances was exciting.

Antiderivative

People don't have to understand it, but they have to respect your decision not to drink. If they don't respect your decision, then tell them to bugger off.

If she keeps nagging you and telling you that you are no fun, then tell her that you don't find her nagging fun. If you can't find common ground outside of drinking, then you may want to change your playmates.