Big breath...here I go.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
I am another who recovered "my way", no formal program, I'm living proof 3 yrs into my beautiful life. My father also recovered on his own after 40+ years of alcoholism and he's been free for about 25-28 yrs. The power of prayer is very beneficial.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome.....
There is no wrong way to find a healthier future...glad to know
you are exploring how to find yours.......
As you can see.....many of our SR members are happily sucessfully
sober by doing all sorts of concepts/methods and sstructered programs.
Before jumping into anything that requires supplements or
prescriptions.......I strongly suggest checking with a medical professional.
Glad to know you will be doing that quickly.
All my best...hope your de tox continues to be smooth
There is no wrong way to find a healthier future...glad to know
you are exploring how to find yours.......
As you can see.....many of our SR members are happily sucessfully
sober by doing all sorts of concepts/methods and sstructered programs.
Before jumping into anything that requires supplements or
prescriptions.......I strongly suggest checking with a medical professional.
Glad to know you will be doing that quickly.
All my best...hope your de tox continues to be smooth
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by jamdls 
I am another who recovered "my way", no formal program, I'm living proof 3 yrs into my beautiful life. My father also recovered on his own after 40+ years of alcoholism and he's been free for about 25-28 yrs. The power of prayer is very beneficial.
I am a very firm believer in Rule 62....and after 25 years of almost every day drinking, I thoroughly enjoy sobriety, how I got here is amazing, I really wanted to stop drinking because i knew if I slid any further i was killing myself slowly, but surely .
BTW, i thought I was a very "high functioning" alcoholic too.....but by January of this year????? not so much.
one thing I did find very helpful and motivating was to take a weekly picture of myself. the changes are amazing even if it's just a head snapshot. just like your body's ability to heal hopefully.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Hi Fatheroftwo,
Welcome!
Your approach sounds interesting and I hope that it works for you. I do think that nutrition can play a role in our healing.
For me, I strive for balance and find that it's crucial for me to keep balance in my life. Addiction was about excess, so keeping things in balance helps me in my recovery. I try to exercise every day (outside if possible), I meditate and do yoga, and I work hard to keep a positive attitude and to be kind to myself.
You will find many different ideas on recovery here, but this is what works for me.
Welcome!
Your approach sounds interesting and I hope that it works for you. I do think that nutrition can play a role in our healing.
For me, I strive for balance and find that it's crucial for me to keep balance in my life. Addiction was about excess, so keeping things in balance helps me in my recovery. I try to exercise every day (outside if possible), I meditate and do yoga, and I work hard to keep a positive attitude and to be kind to myself.
You will find many different ideas on recovery here, but this is what works for me.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome Fatheroftwo 
It's a big step, but one of the best I ever took.
I know you'll find a lot of support here, and I hope your plan works out well for you
Like others have said I hope you'll check it all out with your MD
D
It's a big step, but one of the best I ever took.
I know you'll find a lot of support here, and I hope your plan works out well for you
Like others have said I hope you'll check it all out with your MD
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome to SR!! Glad you are sharing and know that you have our support.
SR was and still is an invaluable tool in my recovery. I knew that I wasn't alone, I had support 24/7 and folks here opened the doors to the many support options available to us.
I felt much like you and went through that ugly cycle of drinking and then drinking because of drinking. It wasn't overnight that I became alcoholic and I didn't fit any mold at first. I never intended to become a daily drunk but I found when I wanted to stop that it had a hold on me and it took a long time of battling the bottle to admit that I was an alcoholic.
Admitting that I have no control when I drink (because I honestly don't) and reaching out for support started this amazing journey and I never could have known how blessed my life could be without alcohol in it until I did it!
We can rebuild, we can live again and we are better people in sobriety.
I found it was a journey and as I went along I made so many positive changes from diet, exercise to my overall mental attitude.
You can do this and know you deserve better!
Looking forward to the journey.
SR was and still is an invaluable tool in my recovery. I knew that I wasn't alone, I had support 24/7 and folks here opened the doors to the many support options available to us.
I felt much like you and went through that ugly cycle of drinking and then drinking because of drinking. It wasn't overnight that I became alcoholic and I didn't fit any mold at first. I never intended to become a daily drunk but I found when I wanted to stop that it had a hold on me and it took a long time of battling the bottle to admit that I was an alcoholic.
Admitting that I have no control when I drink (because I honestly don't) and reaching out for support started this amazing journey and I never could have known how blessed my life could be without alcohol in it until I did it!
We can rebuild, we can live again and we are better people in sobriety.
I found it was a journey and as I went along I made so many positive changes from diet, exercise to my overall mental attitude.
You can do this and know you deserve better!
Looking forward to the journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 10
Hi everyone,
4th day today. Was thinking about where to go for dinner tonight and automatically saw wine with it. Got past that...and now it has been a horrible day at work. I would usually sneak off to where I would keep some wine and just knock back another bottle. Shower, eat, drink etc. all day.
Not today, and not tomorrow.
To the bottle..."I gave in too many times and for far too long. We have never been friends if you ask me. You really think you got me through those tough times. You must be joking. I have felt numb for moments before a flood of horrible feelings. Not this time or the next you jackass."
Maybe not the positive mantra I had in mind for today. Time for a workout, a good meal and many positive thoughts.
Thanks for listening.
4th day today. Was thinking about where to go for dinner tonight and automatically saw wine with it. Got past that...and now it has been a horrible day at work. I would usually sneak off to where I would keep some wine and just knock back another bottle. Shower, eat, drink etc. all day.
Not today, and not tomorrow.
To the bottle..."I gave in too many times and for far too long. We have never been friends if you ask me. You really think you got me through those tough times. You must be joking. I have felt numb for moments before a flood of horrible feelings. Not this time or the next you jackass."
Maybe not the positive mantra I had in mind for today. Time for a workout, a good meal and many positive thoughts.
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
The wine with dinner thing was always a biggie for me.
I did an exercise in my early days where I would remember my worst possible drinking moment, recalling in acute detail the way I felt, how much I hated what I was drinking, the feeling of getting sick to my stomach...etc. I found it helped me A LOT!
I'm just shy of 3 months and on the rare occasions I think of drinking it triggers that memory and I feel like getting sick again...it's like using antabuse except you don't have to take a pill to get the effect, it's always there:-)
There is a name for this type of excercise but it escapes me at the moment.
I did an exercise in my early days where I would remember my worst possible drinking moment, recalling in acute detail the way I felt, how much I hated what I was drinking, the feeling of getting sick to my stomach...etc. I found it helped me A LOT!
I'm just shy of 3 months and on the rare occasions I think of drinking it triggers that memory and I feel like getting sick again...it's like using antabuse except you don't have to take a pill to get the effect, it's always there:-)
There is a name for this type of excercise but it escapes me at the moment.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 10
Great call on that. I have used a bit of the negative association with the using past sensories, so I'm a bit green on that.
But after a shower/steam and some breathing techniques I am going to go enjoy the day!
Thanks!
But after a shower/steam and some breathing techniques I am going to go enjoy the day!
Thanks!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 10
Hi Fandy,
Just catching this now and I had a great weekend! Friday afternoon was a little difficult though.
But my last drink was exactly one week ago. There is/was a definite withdrawal period. As mentioned there were no benzo's involved. I haven't thrown them away like I did with all the booze, just keeping them on hand if an insatiable urge hits me.
The first few days, I incurred insomnia, sweating and shaking. By Friday, the sweats and the shakes were diminished. I have also had heart palpitations for some time now (prior to withdrawal) which have lessened just somewhat in strength and frequency toward the end of last weekend. This with the insomnia will be a focus in the coming weeks.
There was an increase in energy (and mood at times) as noted by my wife, this weekend. I do have short bouts of irritability though.
Physically, my workouts have improved, and I feel that my body is, well, starting to metabolize more efficiently.
Cognitive Functionality. I thought this would have improved. I found many moments of pure haziness. I thought I might have low blood sugar, but when tested, was just fine. (But really, after such abuse, the neurotransmitters will take some time to return to 'normal' (which I really don't know what 'normal' is.))
Lastly, I went to restaurants as I normally would. This wasn't out of self-hate or self-contempt or to test myself. This was out pure enjoyment. Simple as that. It's (booze) just not an option in my life. Had a power struggle with it for decades...and you know what, I f*cking won!
Just catching this now and I had a great weekend! Friday afternoon was a little difficult though.
But my last drink was exactly one week ago. There is/was a definite withdrawal period. As mentioned there were no benzo's involved. I haven't thrown them away like I did with all the booze, just keeping them on hand if an insatiable urge hits me.
The first few days, I incurred insomnia, sweating and shaking. By Friday, the sweats and the shakes were diminished. I have also had heart palpitations for some time now (prior to withdrawal) which have lessened just somewhat in strength and frequency toward the end of last weekend. This with the insomnia will be a focus in the coming weeks.
There was an increase in energy (and mood at times) as noted by my wife, this weekend. I do have short bouts of irritability though.
Physically, my workouts have improved, and I feel that my body is, well, starting to metabolize more efficiently.
Cognitive Functionality. I thought this would have improved. I found many moments of pure haziness. I thought I might have low blood sugar, but when tested, was just fine. (But really, after such abuse, the neurotransmitters will take some time to return to 'normal' (which I really don't know what 'normal' is.))
Lastly, I went to restaurants as I normally would. This wasn't out of self-hate or self-contempt or to test myself. This was out pure enjoyment. Simple as that. It's (booze) just not an option in my life. Had a power struggle with it for decades...and you know what, I f*cking won!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
It sounds like you're doing well.
I didn't enjoy going to restaurants for awhile. I felt that my sobriety was fragile and needed care and nurturing, so I listened to my heart. I'm glad it worked out for you.
I didn't enjoy going to restaurants for awhile. I felt that my sobriety was fragile and needed care and nurturing, so I listened to my heart. I'm glad it worked out for you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
good to hear you're doing well F02
without, I hope, being a wet blanket - I must add - it's been a week.
It's a long and not always linear journey.
i say this simply because many times I tripped over my own hubris...stay in the day as much as you can
D
without, I hope, being a wet blanket - I must add - it's been a week.
It's a long and not always linear journey.
i say this simply because many times I tripped over my own hubris...stay in the day as much as you can
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi FO2! Glad you had a good weekend:-) I kind of expected everything to bounce back quickly and I felt loads better right away...then I plateaued for a couple weeks and have recently seen a slow gradual improvement in the past few weeks. Food is not something I have regained my enjoyment of...I eat for nourishment only these days...so restaurants hold no appeal currently...would only go with others, which I have done and it was fine. I am not overly worried when I know I am going to be around alcohol and can prepare mentally...my biggest concern isgetting blindsided...so far so good though...92 days:-)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Great work! I admire your approach. What I do want to emphasize is to be easy on yourself as you work this early period. You are doing awesome and know that sometimes things do happen and its ok as long as we don't revert back to drinking and we continue with our recovery.
Keep it going!!
Keep it going!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
good morning FO2! (i guess that is your given name now). I' so happy to hear that you have stuck with it.
you describe a lot of what many of us went through (you left out the barfing part) and congrats on your first week...you won't heal overnight, but it gets better each day...nothing becomes instantly perfect (at least in my life), but I deal better with my problems sober..i am much more logical and my thought process is more balanced.
i think we had a discussion at one point where someone found they could now do certain simple functions easier...(like balance their checkbook).....it's going to take some time, but day by day you are building your solid foundation.
congrats on the exercise routine, it can only help you....i haven't yet got past the regular dog-walking myself, but it makes a difference in my mood.
you describe a lot of what many of us went through (you left out the barfing part) and congrats on your first week...you won't heal overnight, but it gets better each day...nothing becomes instantly perfect (at least in my life), but I deal better with my problems sober..i am much more logical and my thought process is more balanced.
i think we had a discussion at one point where someone found they could now do certain simple functions easier...(like balance their checkbook).....it's going to take some time, but day by day you are building your solid foundation.
congrats on the exercise routine, it can only help you....i haven't yet got past the regular dog-walking myself, but it makes a difference in my mood.
Karma Amputee
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
Originally Posted by fatheroftwo
Please feel free comment.
1) nutritional therapy
2) stress management
3) exercise therapy
4) pharmacology (cognitive-enhancement medications)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 10
Hi everyone.
Thanks for your kind replies. Just thought I'd post as I'm beginning my 3rd week now.
@Anna. We eat out everyday and sometimes twice. How I dealt with it. It wasn't really full visualization therapy with smell, sounds, tastes etc., but a personification of the bottle. When I walk in, or prior to dining, I see that bottle with a mean face. Not grotesque or necessarily evil, just a mean face that wants a part of me. That face wants to do battle with me and if I choose to, that is the moment I lose. I win by not entering the ring. I win by scoffing at 'him' and not giving another thought the rest of my meal. There's a bit more to it, but I'm sure you get the idea...and it works wonders.
@Dee74. No need to preface with sounding like a 'wet blanket' on my first week. We are all different and all incorporate different approaches in our healing. While my last post may have sounded arrogant (maybe it was) but a brief bio... I'm 6'2" and 230lb, played college football and am still in decent physical shape for 37. I have that aggressive attitude that comes out when dealing with extreme problems, and this, finally, is one of those times.
@LaFemme. It does seem like there is an ebb and flow with both physical and congnitive abilities. I expect this for some time and see that 90+ days into a wonderful new life, you're still incurring these issues. Countdown to 100 days for you
@Kmber2010. Thanks for the comment on being easy on myself. I was very strict since day 1, even limiting my sugars to a bare minimum. I let myself go on Friday and enjoying a scoop of ice cream and chocolate chip cookie and then an hour later, knocked back a Skor's bar. I admit, it felt good!
@Fandy. What fun would it be if we healed overnight now?! Imagine that, a logical thought process.
@Bobby. Thanks. I am really enjoying my sobriety!
@getr345. That is great to hear. I believe that through the approach we have taken will not only continue the sobriety, but lead down a much richer path than ever imagined, leading to the 'spiritual awakening'.
I am still rounding out my total approach. But so far my nutritional therapy is quite on track. Very clean eating. I won't break down the macros, though (aside from an occassional treat) I avoid refined sugars and flours, skip any fried food and take in ~4 juiced drinks a week (with wheatgrass) and limit coffee still to < 1 cup.
Stress management still incorporates an array of CBT's, some yoga and some meditation. I see the benefits of the yoga and meditation and hope to kick that up a notch in the coming weeks.
Exercise Therapy has included lifting weights 4 out of 5 days, an occasional jog/walk in the morning or afternoon. My workouts are truly incredible now without the alcohol flowing in my body!
Pharmacology...I have added quite a bit over the past 2 weeks. The havoc I placed on my body and mind cannot be ignored in my recovery as an alcoholic. My brain chemistry and organs need to be restored to aide in the healing process. I won't say much more, rule #xx, but if anyone is interested, I'll put up what I take daily, and note it is not a recommendation.
Concluding, the past couple weeks have been incredible. My body is finally starting to readjust and the fog I had mentally is dissipating. There are times it feels quite strange to be sober and have such a clear mind/body, with every sense operating at an optimal level delivering such clarity. I do have to take a step back an embrace it and view this life in a month, a year and what will be forever.
Thanks everyone!
FO2
Thanks for your kind replies. Just thought I'd post as I'm beginning my 3rd week now.
@Anna. We eat out everyday and sometimes twice. How I dealt with it. It wasn't really full visualization therapy with smell, sounds, tastes etc., but a personification of the bottle. When I walk in, or prior to dining, I see that bottle with a mean face. Not grotesque or necessarily evil, just a mean face that wants a part of me. That face wants to do battle with me and if I choose to, that is the moment I lose. I win by not entering the ring. I win by scoffing at 'him' and not giving another thought the rest of my meal. There's a bit more to it, but I'm sure you get the idea...and it works wonders.
@Dee74. No need to preface with sounding like a 'wet blanket' on my first week. We are all different and all incorporate different approaches in our healing. While my last post may have sounded arrogant (maybe it was) but a brief bio... I'm 6'2" and 230lb, played college football and am still in decent physical shape for 37. I have that aggressive attitude that comes out when dealing with extreme problems, and this, finally, is one of those times.
@LaFemme. It does seem like there is an ebb and flow with both physical and congnitive abilities. I expect this for some time and see that 90+ days into a wonderful new life, you're still incurring these issues. Countdown to 100 days for you
@Kmber2010. Thanks for the comment on being easy on myself. I was very strict since day 1, even limiting my sugars to a bare minimum. I let myself go on Friday and enjoying a scoop of ice cream and chocolate chip cookie and then an hour later, knocked back a Skor's bar. I admit, it felt good!
@Fandy. What fun would it be if we healed overnight now?! Imagine that, a logical thought process.
@Bobby. Thanks. I am really enjoying my sobriety!
@getr345. That is great to hear. I believe that through the approach we have taken will not only continue the sobriety, but lead down a much richer path than ever imagined, leading to the 'spiritual awakening'.
I am still rounding out my total approach. But so far my nutritional therapy is quite on track. Very clean eating. I won't break down the macros, though (aside from an occassional treat) I avoid refined sugars and flours, skip any fried food and take in ~4 juiced drinks a week (with wheatgrass) and limit coffee still to < 1 cup.
Stress management still incorporates an array of CBT's, some yoga and some meditation. I see the benefits of the yoga and meditation and hope to kick that up a notch in the coming weeks.
Exercise Therapy has included lifting weights 4 out of 5 days, an occasional jog/walk in the morning or afternoon. My workouts are truly incredible now without the alcohol flowing in my body!
Pharmacology...I have added quite a bit over the past 2 weeks. The havoc I placed on my body and mind cannot be ignored in my recovery as an alcoholic. My brain chemistry and organs need to be restored to aide in the healing process. I won't say much more, rule #xx, but if anyone is interested, I'll put up what I take daily, and note it is not a recommendation.
Concluding, the past couple weeks have been incredible. My body is finally starting to readjust and the fog I had mentally is dissipating. There are times it feels quite strange to be sober and have such a clear mind/body, with every sense operating at an optimal level delivering such clarity. I do have to take a step back an embrace it and view this life in a month, a year and what will be forever.
Thanks everyone!
FO2
Last edited by fatheroftwo; 10-19-2010 at 05:03 AM. Reason: typo
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