Juneof44

I thought this would be harder! Yes, the temptation is there, but my will for sobriety is much stronger.

And to be honest, I just poured a couple glasses for some customers, and the smell was disgusting! I actually smelled the alcohol beyond anything else. Is this normal? I thought the smell would be intoxicating, but really it smelled like what I imagine my breath used to the morning after a bender...

Anyway, I'll be on here all day, as I am really drawing a lot of support from SR.

coming_clean

it does smell disgusting....

take care now!

alexvt

Awesome! Mind over Matter!

Dee74

Glad you're finding it easier than you expected June

D

Anna

I hope this works out for you.

suki44883

My thoughts are: Guard your sobriety. Be vigilant.

Juneof44

well, this has turned out to be easier than I expected. Not to say i have my guard down, but I honestly have talked myself out of drinking anything here. Of course, one day at a time, but I'm just about to close up here, and I've already sealed everything and taken inventory, so I'm doin' ok!

least

I too find the smell of wine (my drink of choice) sickening since I've been sober. I'm glad you had no problems, but do be vigilant. Like they say about alcoholism - it's out in the parking lot doing pushups just waiting for you to cave in to the addict voices... The disease may be dormant but it isn't dead.

Juneof44

I've got my guard up, and my head is on a swivel for that b*stard in the parking lot. I'll lock my car doors and book it straight home...to pizza night!

Toronto68

June, I haven't been around alcohol very much since I quit, but I vaguely recall that I wasn't impressed with the smell. Everyone will give you their version of being careful around it, and it's very reasonable. On the other hand, some people (no idea how many or few) can be around it and not feel like it's dangerous.

My question is a different take on the subject. Don't you think the displeasure you experience around the open bottles or the wine sitting in the cups or on the breath of people in the room would be visible on your face at some point? And that it could be a problem in a sales context? If I had to be involved in the sale of pork, I wouldn't last, because the disgust would be on my face and the customers would speculate there was something wrong with the meat. (I don't eat pork and don't like being around it, and I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve.)

I guess I am asking whether you would be up for trying to get a different position if that's feasible, so that you are not running the risk of not doing well at work AND eliminating the alcohol context if that would be a bonus for you. Or am I overthinking this?

loveon2legs

Good job on your sobriety time!!! I cant say that if I was in your spot, I could do the same... You might want to consider finding a different position to obtain long term sobriety....seems abit dicey don't you think??

Juneof44

well I made it through the day, safe and sober. the only problem is that in my days of drinking wine, i learned quite a bit about it, so even though the smell is completely turning me off, I am still pretty darned good at selling it.

thanks to all concerned about me at my job, yes, it certainly is not the right place for a recovering alcoholic, but I take each day as it comes, and right now, though I have resumes out, there isn't much opportunity here where I live. Yes, it certainly wouldn't be my first choice, but I really prefer not to see it as a matter of "when" I slip, because I feel that's setting me up for failure.

you see, at this point, I do not see failure (drinking) as an option. I have too much riding on this. the problem is, I still have bills to pay and my son's tuition is due every 2 weeks, so until something else presents itself, I'm kind of stuck. However, I do spend more time working outside on the farm than I do in the wine shop, and after this week, I will only be in there 1 day a week, as I asked my boss to rotate me out since she is hiring another steward.

I enjoy working outside running tractors and getting my hands dirty much more than lying through my teeth about how good this wine or that wine is, when really I can't stand the smell of it.

I really do appreciate everybody's concern though. Don't give up on me yet! I'm doing well!

LaFemme

Way to go!

I also have fund the smell of wine, my DOC, repugnant in the 3 months of sobriety. I also need to go to drinking functions for work....just got home from a cocktail party in fact. Its not ideal, but its life, and I find the occasional exposure to alcohol reinforces my sobriety.

augustwest

my experience has been that being in the presence of alcohol isn't really a problem, until it is. And i never know when that moment might arise where my mind tries to convince me that it would be ok to have "just one."

Because of this i must be vigilant about my recovery and have an exit strategy for all situations where substances will be in my presence.

Juneof44

good thoughts, august! and everybody else! you guys are really supportive, and a major reason why I can still work in there...for now.

lildawg

Juneof44, I really understand where you're coming from about this being your only employment option at this moment. I admire your resolve!

Keep doing a great job on your sobriety. Perhaps another opportunity will present itself soon.

Kmber2010

Well done June.

I personally cringe at the thought of being around booze so early on but as I found too in my sobriety that alcohol is present in life and sometimes we have to stay vigilant and stay the course and know that drinking is not an option.

I don't choose to be around it but if someone is going away then more likely they will do the bar thing. I am comfortable now that I will pop in....have some soda or juice and chat for a bit and leave. Not leave because I may feel tempted but leave because I personally don't care to be around drunk people and that just isn't my bag anymore.

All the best and I hope your resume generates good feedback!!

jamdls

Wine was also my DOC and the smell is still nauseating to me 3 yrs later and I'm glad it is I see it as a benefit to my recovery.

Cottonwoodchris

"Salt of the earth" is what they call that, June. My grandpa taught me on a cattle ranch when I was 14. I could mend a fence, drive a tractor, move a bee hive, even milk a cow.

No, heck no, we won't give up on you. As long as you don't give up on yourself. And it sounds like you aren't gonna do that either.

I can identify with being in a job that I want to get out of, but there just isn't any damn work out there! It doesn't involve alcohol, but it's just minimum wage, no insurance, part time hours. But it's all I have and I still have to pay bills.

We need to keep strong in our convictions to stay sober; for us first off, then for our families. You can't do for your family unless you already have your own "stuff" together. One day at a time, bro. 37 days for me today. And I'm not looking back. Take care!

augustwest

we have june and august posting on this thread. where's july?