Question about relapse
dopeless hope fiend
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
every relapse i've had was definitely worse in regards to quantity of use, tolerance, frequency, obsession, self loathing, confusion, etc...
i don't ever want to go through that again. it is not guaranteed that i make it back, or even survive.
a catch phrase i've heard is that while i'm in recovery my disease is quietly doing pushups, waiting for me patiently, then BOOM!
that has absolutely been my experience.
i don't ever want to go through that again. it is not guaranteed that i make it back, or even survive.
a catch phrase i've heard is that while i'm in recovery my disease is quietly doing pushups, waiting for me patiently, then BOOM!
that has absolutely been my experience.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I'm with Lexie... once I found my way to AA I haven't found it necessary to relapse. Prior to that, I never made it a week so I don't have any direct experience with stopping for a long time and going back out. From what I hear from my friends in AA who had some time in sobriety - months or even years - and went back out, they explained that within a couple days they were drinking MORE than they did prior to quitting. It was as if they had been drinking all along and had NO dry time.
I've probably got some more drinkin' in me.....but I'm pretty sure I don't have the guts to walk into AA again......which means my next relapse (God forbid) will kill me. I understand that I don't have control when I drink and I can't guarantee I'll ever get back to recovery.....ever again.
And the even sadder truth... that next relapse will kill some of the ppl here too....and I'm sure they'll go into it thinking the same thing I would "Oh well....I'll just drink tonight and give that recovery deal a shot later."
I've probably got some more drinkin' in me.....but I'm pretty sure I don't have the guts to walk into AA again......which means my next relapse (God forbid) will kill me. I understand that I don't have control when I drink and I can't guarantee I'll ever get back to recovery.....ever again.
And the even sadder truth... that next relapse will kill some of the ppl here too....and I'm sure they'll go into it thinking the same thing I would "Oh well....I'll just drink tonight and give that recovery deal a shot later."
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by stugotz 
Congrats.
Relapse is a word, drinking is an action. Its not something that just happens, it must be thought out and followed through with. Remember alcohol has no power over you until you put it in your body. Good luck.
Relapse is a word, drinking is an action. Its not something that just happens, it must be thought out and followed through with. Remember alcohol has no power over you until you put it in your body. Good luck.
dopeless hope fiend
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
Originally Posted by DayTrader
I'm with Lexie... once I found my way to AA I haven't found it necessary to relapse. Prior to that, I never made it a week so I don't have any direct experience with stopping for a long time and going back out. From what I hear from my friends in AA who had some time in sobriety - months or even years - and went back out, they explained that within a couple days they were drinking MORE than they did prior to quitting. It was as if they had been drinking all along and had NO dry time.
I've probably got some more drinkin' in me.....but I'm pretty sure I don't have the guts to walk into AA again......which means my next relapse (God forbid) will kill me. I understand that I don't have control when I drink and I can't guarantee I'll ever get back to recovery.....ever again.
And the even sadder truth... that next relapse will kill some of the ppl here too....and I'm sure they'll go into it thinking the same thing I would "Oh well....I'll just drink tonight and give that recovery deal a shot later."
I've probably got some more drinkin' in me.....but I'm pretty sure I don't have the guts to walk into AA again......which means my next relapse (God forbid) will kill me. I understand that I don't have control when I drink and I can't guarantee I'll ever get back to recovery.....ever again.
And the even sadder truth... that next relapse will kill some of the ppl here too....and I'm sure they'll go into it thinking the same thing I would "Oh well....I'll just drink tonight and give that recovery deal a shot later."
Now, after just being an NA tourist my head was full of recovery slogans and phrases that absolutely ruined my buzz when i went back to using. ruined it! and kick started the spiral downward. nothing worse than knowingly ruining your life. no more ignorance or denial was accessable, i was just insane.
upon returning, by grace, i immersed myself in the program. 90 in 90, homegroup, service, found a HP, got a sponsor, and the big one, STEP WORK.
who'd a thunk that making a 12 step program work would actually require doing the steps? what a revelation, LMAO!
So, once i actually become an active member of NA i've found absolutely no reason to use, and honestly, the obsession has been lifted, and when a using thought does arise, i watch it, and let it pass. Calling people, going to a meeting, etc.. helps with this. But really, those thoughts rarely arise these days, but they dam sure can, and i'm vigilant. my life depends on it.
AA says rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path...
NA goes a step further to say that We have never seen a person relapse who lives the Narcotics Anonymous program.
They are right.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by augustwest
.....STEP WORK ......who'd a thunk that making a 12 step program work would actually require doing the steps? what a revelation, LMAO!
LMFAO.... u had me rollin!!! I had the SAME "revelation" LOLOLOL. Amazing how much better IT works when IT'S worked.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
whooooo hooooooooooo - lucky post #1111 ^^^^^^ 
Originally Posted by DayTrader
LMFAO.... u had me rollin!!! I had the SAME "revelation" LOLOLOL. Amazing how much better IT works when IT'S worked.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
August...
Ya know, it was obvious my way wasn't working.....but it HAD worked....."before"......so if I can just get back to "then" I'll be all right. Heck, I'll be even better cuz I'll have my old ways back in swing and now that I know how to drink and do drugs better....it'll be even better!!!!
rocket scientists huh? now quite.....
Ya know, it was obvious my way wasn't working.....but it HAD worked....."before"......so if I can just get back to "then" I'll be all right. Heck, I'll be even better cuz I'll have my old ways back in swing and now that I know how to drink and do drugs better....it'll be even better!!!!
rocket scientists huh? now quite.....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
Hi,
Congrats on your 40 days! I have 55 days, and I won't consider relapse, 'cause it isn't going to happen. I use a little AA, a little WFS, a little Rational Recovery, and a lot of knowledge of what drinking does to me. It won't happen, so I am not worrying about it. This is how I felt when I quit smoking, and I feel that way about drinking now, too.
Good luck - stay sober!
Congrats on your 40 days! I have 55 days, and I won't consider relapse, 'cause it isn't going to happen. I use a little AA, a little WFS, a little Rational Recovery, and a lot of knowledge of what drinking does to me. It won't happen, so I am not worrying about it. This is how I felt when I quit smoking, and I feel that way about drinking now, too.
Good luck - stay sober!
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