sunshinebaby

Hi everyone....I hope you remember me...I haven't posted in a while....

I'm back needing some support after having a pretty bad time.....

I had stopped drinking completely last December, on my son's birthday....I didn't drink at all for.....seven months! SEVEN MONTHS!!!!

It was wonderful. I felt great, I didn't crave anything....I got so much done, I was happy and healthy and life was good.

Then at the end of May, I found out I was pregnant....just some history, we had been trying to have our 4th baby and we had 4 miscarriages in the process....we gave up, I stopped drinking, we got settled and happy and bang it happened...

We thought it may have to do with me not drinking, that I fell pregnant without trying...we were very happy..

3 months later, we lost the baby....our 5th miscarriage. We were devastated, and it was painful emotionally and physically. Guess what I did?

Had a glass of wine to calm down...in the middle of the miscarriage. And thought I could handle it. Now I am right back to the beginning..drinking nearly every night....not alot but enough. I am a binge drinker, I can't stop at one..

I am now tired (again) cranky, irritable and impatient with my babies...depressed, not interested in anything.....it's taken over me again. I have put weight back on, I feel unhealthy and hopeless as a mother....

I am sick of yelling at the kids because I feel aggressive, and feeling like I am not the best mother I can be....alcohol is holding me back. Last night I drank everything I had, which was 4 mixer cans and a big glass of wine...so that I didn't have anything tonight.

Today is the first day....again. I feel weak for starting again....that I couldn't stay strong, but losing this baby was heartbreaking......thanks for reading..

Ainslie

I think I remember you, you were around at the time 'Lionheart' was posting also....

So sorry to hear of your loss.

Stick around, we're here for you

sunshinebaby

Yes I remember, Lionheart was a woman, I think????

Ainslie

yea another aussie - we all joined around the same time, I went offline for a few months but now im back, havent seen LH online for ages though.

Dee74

I'm so sorry for your loss sunshinebaby - but I'm glad you're back to trying.
Welcome back

D

HIgby442

Hi, so sorry to hear about your loss. But, in my own opinion (I am a glass is half full kind of guy) I would applaud the fact that you are back here stating day 1 again. Just think about how happy you were before, and how awesome it felt to be sober. You are there again today. Dont focus on the fact that you are back at day 1 "again". You are doing the right thing, and everything is going to be ok and get better.

Hang in there, and know we are all here for you.

CarolD

Sad to know of your loss...
Welcome back to SR

Wanna see what I said on your first post?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...want-stop.html

It's true for me now too.....
Seems to fit right this time as well.

Jamison

I am so sorry for your loss.

I picked up again after my Dad & Sister in Law passed away.

Don't beat yourself up.

You are back trying after such heartbreak.

least

I am so sorry about your miscarriage. Welcome back to SR! YOu've come to the right place to recovery.

julez

Thank you for sharing your story. Welcome back to SR. I'm also so sorry to hear of your loss. One day at a time sweetie, thats all you can do.

sunshinebaby

Thanks guys...xx

Kmber2010

Huggs Sunshine. I am so sorry for your loss.

You are here and sharing and this is the beginning.

Know that we are here for you and that you can pick up from this.

Take it easy friend and glad to have you back with us.

Huggs.

ozgoddess

Welcome back sunshinebaby

Sorry about your loss.

Your journey is heading in the right direction. The important thing is that you recognise and are doing something about the problem. Try not to beat yourself up too much about it all. You have been through a lot.

:ghug3