TOPIC: As A Newcomer I'll Never Forget....
 

Hi Im Sharon and Im an
Alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP and
people like you here in SR
I havent found it necessary
to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely
grateful.


In Aug. 1990 I spent 28 days
in rehab after family stepped
in with an intervention getting
me help I so needed at that
time in my life.

Those next few months sober,
in my mind are still so clear
today as if it were yesterday.

It would be my first sober
holidays to face with myself
and the family.

For some reason I recall so
vividly the feelings I had
when listening to music.

I still get chills thinking about
it.

As much as I liked music,
this time it seemed different.
Clearer. Crisp. More meaningful.

Can you recall something in
ur early recovery days that
stood out the most?

To think that my admiration
for music had a profound
affect on my kids at that time.

Both, my son and daughter
picked up musical instruments
in school...one a French Horn
and the other a Trombone.

They both excelled with one
becoming the Drum Major
in his HS marching band.

He also went on to major
in music and did his graduate
studies up north in the New
England Conservatory.

I don't think I can take all
the credit but maybe some
with recovery and my love
for music.

How about you?

I didn't start to experience things differently until my last rehab. I feel like I was truly ready then. The previous treatments had their moments, but no surrender. It seems surrender made the difference because I began to experience life differently then.

The process of living has much more connection with the world around me. I do experience life in a different way because my senses function better now than when they numbed/diminished by my use of drugs and alcohol.

Nice reminder.

Thanks!

I recall it took about a month before I really started to see things differently. I remember first it seemed like I could finally really "see" myself. It was as if I was watching a TV show and getting to interpret myself from an outside view. Definitely the most poingant thing I sarted to see differently was myself. I lost all the hatred I had for myself and started to realize that I was worth living for, not drowning daily with alcohol. Then like you mentioned, music became a lot more meaningful for me. Instead of listening for something that could just cover up something I was feeling, or elate something I was feeling, I started listening and appreciating music. I am a must nut and always loved it, but over the years I lost my true appreciation for it-but now I have it back again.

Those 2 are definitely the big ones I started seeing differently.

On my fourth day sober a sewer backed up into my basement, COMPLETLY flooding it. It was a holiday (Labor Day) and it took hours to get the Township crew out to pump out the sewer. I had several inches of sewage in my basement (which a neighbor and I had waded through before we realized the source). I called someone I'd met at one of my first AA meetings, and also my ex-husband (who has 30 years but didn't know I was in recovery). They got me calmed down a bit. Finally, I sat down with my nerves jangling, to watch a movie I'd just bought. The DVD wouldn't play!

At 10:30 pm, four days almost to the minute from my last drink, my doorbell rings, and it's my neighbor, who thrusts a cold beer into my hand, saying, "I figured you could use this." It was like in the movies, where time stands still. I've got the cold beer in my hand. I thought, well, I could take it, and then throw it out like I did the rest of the booze in the house. Somehow, I heard myself saying, "No thanks, I really don't want it." She looked at me with concern, and said, "Are you SURE?" I said, "Yeah, I'm just gonna try to calm down and get some rest."

THAT was the moment I knew I was gonna be OK.

It's been two years since my last drink, and I've flashed back to that moment a few times.

It wasn't my own willpower that kept me from that drink.