the guys at the liquor store
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
the guys at the liquor store
So, I rotated my stores like most of us...but there was one store in particular where I knew the guys who worked there...hey! My towns small, there were only four stores to rotate through so I still saw these guys pretty frequently:-)
So, I still see them...bump into them at the grocery store, if I need a parking voucher for the train, the liquor store is one of a few that sell them so I go there for those as well.
So the thing I wonder is what they think and how they feel. I'm pretty sure (99.999%) that they knew I had a problem...they probably know a lot of people who do. Do you think that its hard for them...are they happy when they see me in town and not buying liters of wine from them.
Has anyone ever talked to their liquor store guys after and found out?
Just curious :-)
So, I still see them...bump into them at the grocery store, if I need a parking voucher for the train, the liquor store is one of a few that sell them so I go there for those as well.
So the thing I wonder is what they think and how they feel. I'm pretty sure (99.999%) that they knew I had a problem...they probably know a lot of people who do. Do you think that its hard for them...are they happy when they see me in town and not buying liters of wine from them.
Has anyone ever talked to their liquor store guys after and found out?
Just curious :-)
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Once upon a time I woulda been jealous of you...I only had three places in my town to rotate through!
One of those was the grocery store and that is the only place I go to regularly since I stopped. Sometimes I do wonder if they think about it when I go in there. I tried to rotate through clerks there though.
Like Lexi wrote though...I'm sure the people at the liquor store have enough other people to keep them busy. Still...I did do my part to help keep Vodka sales in the midwest profitable for a few years.
One of those was the grocery store and that is the only place I go to regularly since I stopped. Sometimes I do wonder if they think about it when I go in there. I tried to rotate through clerks there though.
Like Lexi wrote though...I'm sure the people at the liquor store have enough other people to keep them busy. Still...I did do my part to help keep Vodka sales in the midwest profitable for a few years.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Oh I'm sure their business is fine...apparently liquor stores have not been hurt by the recession.
I was just thinking...if it was another store where I was a regular but stopped going...I know that if I saw the shopkeepees out and about they would ask me if every thing was all right because I hadn't been in for awhile. When I see these guys, We always chat and catch up but they don't ask why I don't come in anymore.
I wonder if people who work in liquor stores feel bad about what their jobs?
I was just thinking...if it was another store where I was a regular but stopped going...I know that if I saw the shopkeepees out and about they would ask me if every thing was all right because I hadn't been in for awhile. When I see these guys, We always chat and catch up but they don't ask why I don't come in anymore.
I wonder if people who work in liquor stores feel bad about what their jobs?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,344
Nope. I never had any call to go in again - now I've moved towns.
I think they just thought - oh it's that guy again - maybe a knowing look at the time if two of them were there...but I doubt I stuck in their heads for long...I was one of many.
D
I think they just thought - oh it's that guy again - maybe a knowing look at the time if two of them were there...but I doubt I stuck in their heads for long...I was one of many.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Can't buy wine or liquor in my town anywhere but the package store...I loved living in VA because you couldbvuy wine anywhere!
But I gotta wonder how many secrets those guys keep...they probably know more than the local priest!
I once asked why the fold the little airplane bottles of liquor (they were at the front of the store) they said it was mostly for the guys who used it for their morning coffee on the way into the city.
But I gotta wonder how many secrets those guys keep...they probably know more than the local priest!
I once asked why the fold the little airplane bottles of liquor (they were at the front of the store) they said it was mostly for the guys who used it for their morning coffee on the way into the city.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: los angeles, ca
Posts: 1,223
You know what's sad is when I lived in ATL I knew my liquor store people so well I would bring them plums off my tree every year.
I have only lived in LA for 2 years and 9 months of those I was pregnant (did not drink), and the guy at the liquor store I went to would actually get my bottle of vodka before I even asked. I didn't really think I went there that much cause the grocery stores sold it. Guess I was delusional. Very Sad..
I am sure they both miss my business!
I have only lived in LA for 2 years and 9 months of those I was pregnant (did not drink), and the guy at the liquor store I went to would actually get my bottle of vodka before I even asked. I didn't really think I went there that much cause the grocery stores sold it. Guess I was delusional. Very Sad..
I am sure they both miss my business!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,751
I used to wonder what they thought of me, so often waiting for them to open at 8am, first person there, and buying wine so early in the day...
How nice to longer wonder what they think of me.
How nice to longer wonder what they think of me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Whistler, British Columbia
Posts: 222
This also has crossed my mind. "Do they know that I am no longer drinking, did they know I had a problem"
I think most were only to happy to see us. After all they are not much different than drug dealers and its how they make a living. They would not want to bite the hand that feeds them I am sure, so the more the better I would think.
Glad I never have to go back and waste so much cash on poison
I think most were only to happy to see us. After all they are not much different than drug dealers and its how they make a living. They would not want to bite the hand that feeds them I am sure, so the more the better I would think.
Glad I never have to go back and waste so much cash on poison
Tryin Hard To Think Clear
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Stuck in the middle of nowhere again.
Posts: 157
I feel like weighing in on this.
LaFemme wondered if they feel bad about their jobs...why should they? It's legal. The store owner needs to make a living, I get that. The problem is with OUR choices, not theirs. I know many people that can control their drinking, but for me, I cannot. I may be unpopular in saying this, but not every person who drinks is an alcoholic. I am, yes, as are those among us who cannot control it. But just because I have a problem, I cannot expect the rest of the world not to drink either. I am responsible for myself alone, and though I wish that every store would have cut me off (it would have made quitting MUCH easier, I imagine), ultimately the decision rested in my hands.
As far as them being drug dealers goes, well, that's a stretch. I mean, again, it's legal. I would not expect them to screen every customer for a problem with addiction; that's impractical. On the other hand, if they truly cared about you, and they noticed that you had a problem, they would say something. At least in WA state, unless you are visibly intoxicated, they can actually get in trouble for refusing you based on their suspicion that you may have a problem. In this respect, they ARE similar to drug dealers in that most of them don't care about you, only about the sale.
I have 2 notable exceptions to that; I had a good friend at a bar I was a regular at. I was having a very tough time in my life, and the drinking was contributing to it. I walked in one day, and he told me that I should go home and be with my wife, not in the bar. Then he reached under the bar gave me my copy of the BB. I still have it almost 10 years and countless attempts to quit later. I call that responsible.
The other exception was at a liquor store that I knew the owners and all the workers at. They always told me they would sell to me, but they didn't feel good about it. They meant it too; I could just tell by the looks on their face.
The worst thing about going into the store when I was a drunk was the fact that they already knew what I wanted, and had it on the counter before I even walked in. When I look back on it, that is probably one of the most glaring signs that I had a problem, and I chose to completely ignore it.
LaFemme wondered if they feel bad about their jobs...why should they? It's legal. The store owner needs to make a living, I get that. The problem is with OUR choices, not theirs. I know many people that can control their drinking, but for me, I cannot. I may be unpopular in saying this, but not every person who drinks is an alcoholic. I am, yes, as are those among us who cannot control it. But just because I have a problem, I cannot expect the rest of the world not to drink either. I am responsible for myself alone, and though I wish that every store would have cut me off (it would have made quitting MUCH easier, I imagine), ultimately the decision rested in my hands.
As far as them being drug dealers goes, well, that's a stretch. I mean, again, it's legal. I would not expect them to screen every customer for a problem with addiction; that's impractical. On the other hand, if they truly cared about you, and they noticed that you had a problem, they would say something. At least in WA state, unless you are visibly intoxicated, they can actually get in trouble for refusing you based on their suspicion that you may have a problem. In this respect, they ARE similar to drug dealers in that most of them don't care about you, only about the sale.
I have 2 notable exceptions to that; I had a good friend at a bar I was a regular at. I was having a very tough time in my life, and the drinking was contributing to it. I walked in one day, and he told me that I should go home and be with my wife, not in the bar. Then he reached under the bar gave me my copy of the BB. I still have it almost 10 years and countless attempts to quit later. I call that responsible.
The other exception was at a liquor store that I knew the owners and all the workers at. They always told me they would sell to me, but they didn't feel good about it. They meant it too; I could just tell by the looks on their face.
The worst thing about going into the store when I was a drunk was the fact that they already knew what I wanted, and had it on the counter before I even walked in. When I look back on it, that is probably one of the most glaring signs that I had a problem, and I chose to completely ignore it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bali, Indonesia
Posts: 645
I just bought my booze from two stores - small town too, although there were more I never went to them. I go into one of the stores occasionally, to buy smokes or overpriced softdrink if no other shops are open.......anyhow, the lady in there who I bought wine off for years was quite straight up with me 'How come we dont see you in here any more' I just said 'I think its safest for all of us if I stay off the booze for good' she smiled and seemed really happy for me, although said she did miss my daily visits - we'd always gossip for a while.
I never really felt the need to alternate stores....I didnt want to hide my consumption, I held on to the idea that id learn to moderate :rotfxko
Regarding the recession, it was probably good for the liquor industry. In Australia and New Zealand, when people are stressed, they drink more. I doubt the US is that much different?
I never really felt the need to alternate stores....I didnt want to hide my consumption, I held on to the idea that id learn to moderate :rotfxko
Regarding the recession, it was probably good for the liquor industry. In Australia and New Zealand, when people are stressed, they drink more. I doubt the US is that much different?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 395
At the end of my drinking, I didn't care. I knew I had a problem and didn't care if others knew. I live in a big city and didn't rotate stores. I was too lazy and didn't care.
The 7-11, the grocery store, and the local package store are still in business. Are they happy about my choice? I could care less. I don't think I ever saw the owner, I just dealt with the clerks.
However, they offered a product that I once purchased. I don't purchased it anymore. I could care less if they are upset over it. I don't buy a lot of products and it doesn't cross my mind if I am offending the person who is selling them.
The 7-11, the grocery store, and the local package store are still in business. Are they happy about my choice? I could care less. I don't think I ever saw the owner, I just dealt with the clerks.
However, they offered a product that I once purchased. I don't purchased it anymore. I could care less if they are upset over it. I don't buy a lot of products and it doesn't cross my mind if I am offending the person who is selling them.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Goodness - (just last week) was rotating 7 - 8 stores. I always tried to get a different clerk each time as well. Felt (and still do feel) like a silly - billy idiot - almost like I could even figure it out whilst semi-drunk. How sad. (hugs) to you all and also to me from me - lol.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
I knew someone who used to be a bartender...she said she had to quit because it was too depressing...there were people who she served that were so obviously ill.
I was asking because I see the guys around town...its a small place I live. They are nice people... I ran into them at the grocery last night and it got me thinking.
I was asking because I see the guys around town...its a small place I live. They are nice people... I ran into them at the grocery last night and it got me thinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
I sit here reading this and wasn't sure if I was going to post since I think most of us have shared similar experiences.
What got me though was reflecting on my liquor store runs and those very ugly days. As I reflect...I looked down and saw this nice fat omelette with tomatoes/cheddar I just made and how delicious it is. I thought about how I made a nice pot of coffee this morning when I got up and how I had not one bit of anxiety or concern that today is Sunday. I thought about how I had already walked my dog this morning so I can play lazy bones till early afternoon if I choose.
Point is.....I have night and day from that drunk depressed person I was. All the liquor stores I frequented knew I had a problem but most of the owners were boozers themselves so would regale my visits with their drunken stories the night before. I guess in some way it made me feel ok about stocking up on boxed wine when I had very little $$$ and made me feel ok paying for it in quarters.
The people who sold me booze did not personally care what I did. I am a big girl and a paying customer. It probably helped my case in that the person before me would get a little bottle and sit outside the front door boozing it.
I am so glad those days are behind me. I am sure the liquor stores miss me because I was major purchaser and they would literally do their orders for certain items depending on my needs. How twisted is that! Yikes.
What got me though was reflecting on my liquor store runs and those very ugly days. As I reflect...I looked down and saw this nice fat omelette with tomatoes/cheddar I just made and how delicious it is. I thought about how I made a nice pot of coffee this morning when I got up and how I had not one bit of anxiety or concern that today is Sunday. I thought about how I had already walked my dog this morning so I can play lazy bones till early afternoon if I choose.
Point is.....I have night and day from that drunk depressed person I was. All the liquor stores I frequented knew I had a problem but most of the owners were boozers themselves so would regale my visits with their drunken stories the night before. I guess in some way it made me feel ok about stocking up on boxed wine when I had very little $$$ and made me feel ok paying for it in quarters.
The people who sold me booze did not personally care what I did. I am a big girl and a paying customer. It probably helped my case in that the person before me would get a little bottle and sit outside the front door boozing it.
I am so glad those days are behind me. I am sure the liquor stores miss me because I was major purchaser and they would literally do their orders for certain items depending on my needs. How twisted is that! Yikes.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
i can't buy alcohol in a grocery or gas station in my state....the liquor store i used most was right across the street next to my gorcery, dry cleaners and nail salon.
i switched grocery stores the first couple of months so i would not be tempted (and the new grocery was great with a huge fresh produce section and their liquor store was at the other end of the mall so it was safer).
my local liqor store opened the week i moved here, the owner is a neighbor, i know him, his wife, the kids, his brother-in-law....i agree that the guys that work there are like priests, they keep your secrets and they don't judge....i don't think they judge you and they would happily take my $$$ anytime.
about a month after i stopped drinking i ran to their mall to get milk/eggs, (no time to run to the new grocery)...as i dashed past the owner waves to me...like hey! where have you been???...i keep waiting for him to tell me how great i look! i did go in there once to buy a bottle of wine as a gift but nothing like my ususal visits...no questions were asked. (they do a brisk lottery and cigarette business too)
i also wonder if the recycling man realizes i've stopped drinking? the only thing in there are friskies and fancy feast cans and smart water bottles...my can on wheels used to weigh at least triple what it does now!
i switched grocery stores the first couple of months so i would not be tempted (and the new grocery was great with a huge fresh produce section and their liquor store was at the other end of the mall so it was safer).
my local liqor store opened the week i moved here, the owner is a neighbor, i know him, his wife, the kids, his brother-in-law....i agree that the guys that work there are like priests, they keep your secrets and they don't judge....i don't think they judge you and they would happily take my $$$ anytime.
about a month after i stopped drinking i ran to their mall to get milk/eggs, (no time to run to the new grocery)...as i dashed past the owner waves to me...like hey! where have you been???...i keep waiting for him to tell me how great i look! i did go in there once to buy a bottle of wine as a gift but nothing like my ususal visits...no questions were asked. (they do a brisk lottery and cigarette business too)
i also wonder if the recycling man realizes i've stopped drinking? the only thing in there are friskies and fancy feast cans and smart water bottles...my can on wheels used to weigh at least triple what it does now!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 155
" So, I still see them...bump into them at the grocery store, if I need a parking voucher for the train, the liquor store is one of a few that sell them so I go there for those as well."
Not trying to be a wiseguy here but if you said there were a few others places sell those vouchers then why would you go to that one for ?... be careful your not playing with a loaded gun there, it just might go off .. just giving you some food for thought ..
Not trying to be a wiseguy here but if you said there were a few others places sell those vouchers then why would you go to that one for ?... be careful your not playing with a loaded gun there, it just might go off .. just giving you some food for thought ..
Tryin Hard To Think Clear
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Stuck in the middle of nowhere again.
Posts: 157
I'm sorry I wasn't trying to sound abrasive.
I don't think I could be a bartender, but then again, I work in a wine shop/tasting bar (which, oddly enough, has become a LOT easier for me the last couple days I worked). I haven't yet served anybody that I could tell was ill, but then again, it's hard to tell after only a couple ounces of pouring.
I'm actively on the lookout for another job, btw. I'm actually a farmhand at the same farm the wine shop is at, so I am probably going to have the opportunity to rotate out soon and do what I really love.
OOPS! Sorry about the threadjack....
I don't think I could be a bartender, but then again, I work in a wine shop/tasting bar (which, oddly enough, has become a LOT easier for me the last couple days I worked). I haven't yet served anybody that I could tell was ill, but then again, it's hard to tell after only a couple ounces of pouring.
I'm actively on the lookout for another job, btw. I'm actually a farmhand at the same farm the wine shop is at, so I am probably going to have the opportunity to rotate out soon and do what I really love.
OOPS! Sorry about the threadjack....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 796
One thing that happened to me is I mentioned to the owner one day that I'd like to stop drinking.
Now this is a store where I had credit, I could run up a tab and pay later.
This is me buying shooters of whiskey and 9 in the morning, along with a 12 pack. The shooter I would drink on the way home, just to get things kicked in.
So, anyway, after I mentioned my desire to quit, he pulls a coin out of his pocket.
The coin says, "29 years sober". Turns out he's in AA and hadn't had a drink in that long.
I was amazed. I don't go to AA, and needless to say that pretty much ruined my buying alcohol at that store.
The owner and I became good friends. I stopped in to visit almost every day. (When I wasn't hung over from buying booze at a different store.) And never bought booze there again.
It took me awhile, but his wisdom he shared with me helped me quit. I now have 9 months sober.
Coincidence, or whatever, the man selling me the poison turned out to be my biggest ally in my desire to quit. Weird.
Now this is a store where I had credit, I could run up a tab and pay later.
This is me buying shooters of whiskey and 9 in the morning, along with a 12 pack. The shooter I would drink on the way home, just to get things kicked in.
So, anyway, after I mentioned my desire to quit, he pulls a coin out of his pocket.
The coin says, "29 years sober". Turns out he's in AA and hadn't had a drink in that long.
I was amazed. I don't go to AA, and needless to say that pretty much ruined my buying alcohol at that store.
The owner and I became good friends. I stopped in to visit almost every day. (When I wasn't hung over from buying booze at a different store.) And never bought booze there again.
It took me awhile, but his wisdom he shared with me helped me quit. I now have 9 months sober.
Coincidence, or whatever, the man selling me the poison turned out to be my biggest ally in my desire to quit. Weird.
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