Don't worry about what everybody else is doing, what should you be doing?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Don't worry about what everybody else is doing, what should you be doing?
This is just a post to myself as much as anybody else to be honest.
It's very easy to start 'projecting' about what you feel you may be missing out on by living clean and sober. The great thing about my recovery has been that for the vast majority of it then I have been perfectly happy and content with what I'm doing and not concerned about anybody else. I likened it in some ways to trying to almost get into a similar peacefulness to my Jack Russell dog, When she's lying on the chair just content at being. That is how I have felt through the majority of my recovery, happy and contented with accepting myself as an alcoholic and addict, and taking the required action to create a better life and existence for myself.
Really striving to actively live in a 'one day at a time' mindset has really helped keep me at peace and relieve anxiety and worry. It seems effortless most of the time, but there are times when the mind seems to just wander off. This is where the overwhelming feelings of "man, what am I doing with myself?" start to come on and where the 'tools' and commitment of staying sober 'just for today' are so important.
It's a good feeling to accept my situation and I was only thinking about a post I wrote a long time ago entitled "you've made your bed, now lie in it" or something like that. Basically if sobriety and recovery wasn't the right thing to be doing then you would never have committed to the journey in the first place.
Peace and Love
It's very easy to start 'projecting' about what you feel you may be missing out on by living clean and sober. The great thing about my recovery has been that for the vast majority of it then I have been perfectly happy and content with what I'm doing and not concerned about anybody else. I likened it in some ways to trying to almost get into a similar peacefulness to my Jack Russell dog, When she's lying on the chair just content at being. That is how I have felt through the majority of my recovery, happy and contented with accepting myself as an alcoholic and addict, and taking the required action to create a better life and existence for myself.
Really striving to actively live in a 'one day at a time' mindset has really helped keep me at peace and relieve anxiety and worry. It seems effortless most of the time, but there are times when the mind seems to just wander off. This is where the overwhelming feelings of "man, what am I doing with myself?" start to come on and where the 'tools' and commitment of staying sober 'just for today' are so important.
It's a good feeling to accept my situation and I was only thinking about a post I wrote a long time ago entitled "you've made your bed, now lie in it" or something like that. Basically if sobriety and recovery wasn't the right thing to be doing then you would never have committed to the journey in the first place.
Peace and Love
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Thanks, I like that post. I needed to hear that today.
Was just lying next to my dog listening to the rain outside living in the moment and I know what you're talking about.
When my mind starts racing and doing lots of "thinking" that is when I get myself in trouble. Thanks for that thought.
Was just lying next to my dog listening to the rain outside living in the moment and I know what you're talking about.
When my mind starts racing and doing lots of "thinking" that is when I get myself in trouble. Thanks for that thought.
dopeless hope fiend
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
great post, per usual neo. recovery has taught me to have accountability for my side of the street, work on me, and accept the things i cannot change. add to that the practice of ODAAT, or for me presence in the now, and you have a powerful practice that provides a doorway into true freedom.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 155
Wowww I love all these post .. and I too always try and keep the focus on what I'm doing and not worry about what others are doing or not doing .. that way I don't get in trouble lol :-) So I just live and let live
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,364
great post - thanks Neo! 
I was always defining myself by others - even before I started drinking - I'm still a work in progress but it's not only a great help in my recovery, it's a great relief just to be comfortable and ok with who I am
Right now I'm where I should be, and thats a great sense of peace to me
D
I was always defining myself by others - even before I started drinking - I'm still a work in progress but it's not only a great help in my recovery, it's a great relief just to be comfortable and ok with who I am
Right now I'm where I should be, and thats a great sense of peace to me
D
EntertheSticks
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 139
Its not what we should be doing, its what we NEED to be doing. Clearly we are all people that are better off with booze OUT of our lives. Keeping it out is the hard part, so it is good to always keep that in mind and try to hold ourselves accountable.
Everyone struggles for different reasons, but the same reasons, but you are right, in the end it comes down to taking care of ourselves first and foremost.
However I find it useful to look at what other people do (when they drink) to keep me on the straight and narrow. The night I slipped up (Sunday) at my friends wedding I behaved for the most part, but am taking extra effort to be accountable for my actions. However, that night there was some irreperable damage done between a few of my friends that have been manifested and intensified through alcohol during the last year or so. It finally hit a breaking point, and when I heard about it yesterday it was all the motivation I needed to stay away from the drama, child like behavior, and the irreperable damage it can cause. I think being introverted while extroverted at the same time is a very effective way to look at this issue. Sometimes we need to look within, but other times we need tangible examples (through experience and stories of others) to keep us on the straight and narrow.
great post!
Everyone struggles for different reasons, but the same reasons, but you are right, in the end it comes down to taking care of ourselves first and foremost.
However I find it useful to look at what other people do (when they drink) to keep me on the straight and narrow. The night I slipped up (Sunday) at my friends wedding I behaved for the most part, but am taking extra effort to be accountable for my actions. However, that night there was some irreperable damage done between a few of my friends that have been manifested and intensified through alcohol during the last year or so. It finally hit a breaking point, and when I heard about it yesterday it was all the motivation I needed to stay away from the drama, child like behavior, and the irreperable damage it can cause. I think being introverted while extroverted at the same time is a very effective way to look at this issue. Sometimes we need to look within, but other times we need tangible examples (through experience and stories of others) to keep us on the straight and narrow.
great post!
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