OneWay

So it started onlydrinking weekends ,then it turned to 3 nights ,then 4 nights with 3 nights sober ..thats not so bad is it ??

Anyone else play these mind games with themselves ??

How do you break these stupid train of thoughts ??

LexieCat

I tried to control/limit my drinking for four and a half years.

What worked for me was stopping.

least

I think you have to fully accept in your mind and heart and soul that you cannot drink at all. I tried to moderate so many times but always wound up worse off than I had been.

When I gave it up for good ten months ago I had the uncomfortable feeling that I might not have any more 'recovery' left in me. If I had nine lives I'm sure I used up eight of them.

For me, it was fully accepting that I can't have even one sip. And I'm glad to say that I lost the desire to drink around five or six months sober. Today the thought of drinking doesn't cross my mind much and when I pass the drive thru where I used to get my wine my only thought is relief that I don't go there any more.

I am also blessed in my recovery to be seeing a wonderful addiction counselor once a week and it does me a lot of good.

blackstrat6

Lexi is right. I just seems to get out of hand and we make bargains with ourselves and they never seem to work.
less is more if you even think you might be developing a problem.
Hang in there.

Dee74

I spent 20 years rationalising my use - 'I only drink x nights'...then when I was drinking everynight it was 'oh well it's just a phase, at least I'm not as bad as y'...

Eventually I came to accept I was what I was - an alcoholic - and that alcohol, any alcohol - was destroying me.

Some of us find it useful to 'play the tape through to the end' one way - when you next get the idea of 'a drink'...think that through to it's conclusion - will it be one? what happened last time you had 'one drink' etc?

You can do this

D

LexieCat

To elaborate a bit, so long as I believed I could have another drink, at some time in the future (this weekend, day after tomorrow, next week, etc.) my mind would not shut up. It was like the kid bouncing up and down in the back seat, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Once I surrendered, and accepted that I COULD NOT DRINK, not ever, under any and all circumstances it was not an option, I felt a great deal of peace and freedom. My desire to drink was gone. I have not had serious urges to drink for the past two years, since I came to that point of surrender and acceptance.

artsoul

Well, I think it's true what they say about addiction - one of the hallmarks is denial. When you look at the recommended limits (one drink per day for women, two for men), it's pretty easy to see that what we called "moderation" wasn't really anything within acceptable limits.

Besides that, social drinkers don't have to think about how many drinks, how many days of drinking, etc. etc...... So I believe it's just a matter of time for most of us and hopefully we change things before major damage is done. Sounds like you've already noticed some progression in your drinking.

So, yeah, we tell ourselves a lot of stories. I know I did! .....

Toronto68

One, yes I went through those mental games as early as the 1990s. (I quit last Nov.)

I was never successful at maintaining the control that comes with drinking normally - whatever normally is - because I was always going to be caught in the desire to be drunk, and for a long time it needed to be every day. I never did anything about it, and seldom went long without drinking (as in, only when too sick or too tired - but how often is that in the larger scheme of things; it's not). The only thing to do was quit for me, eventually.

DayTrader

Yep.... sure did. never managed to keep the streak alive though.

only way I now was to get face to face with my addiction, see myself for what I am - an alcoholic - always an alcoholic - forever an alcoholic and that I'll die from my alcoholism unless I got and kept my butt in a solid recovery program.

those admissions didn't come easily either. every fiber of my being fought them.

Ainslie

As everyone else has said, we all tried to manage/control our drinking. I partied pretty much every night from the age of 18-27....it started on weekends, then weekends and wednesdays, then might aswell throw thursday in as well....then whats the point of being sober monday, tuesday? i could always find someone to go out with or something to do. if not, drinking in my room and listening to music would suffice.

Id blame the day, the type of alcohol, the time of month, anything/anyone but myself for my lack of moderation. In the end I just ran out of excuses for myself and I had to stop because I was embarrassed by my own existence. When I see girls like I was now, I feel a mixture of pity and revulsion and im so glad its not me swaying in the bar anymore....

firestorm090

I had every reason to drink, till alcohol destoyed my ability to reason. Then I had no reason not to drink, or so I thought.

The only way I've found to stop that line of thinking is to stop drinking long enough for my mind to clear enough to see myself as I really am, then decide that I don't want to live that way any more, then take action to change. The first action that has helped tremendously is to ask for help.

Kmber2010

Yup....I started out slow....then progressed to a little more and so on. I justified all of it. At some point when I did wish to stop....well I couldn't just stop. I couldn't control how many drinks I had. Once I started I was beyond reason....I just kept drinking.

I quit and tossed the bottle out. Got a clear head and got support. I will never be able to control drinking because I am alcoholic. I detested who I became never want to live that nightmare again.

Glad you are here!

Grace2

Yes, I've been there, done that, worn the teashirt. The only person I was kidding was myself. I know now that I cannot drink alcohol, ever! I hat the person I became and like Kimber I do not want to go back to that dark place. It's still early days for me, nearly 4 months, but I am trying my hardest to turn my life round. The sober me is a much better person. x

Sasha4

Have you googled moderation management and Audrey Kilshaw (I think that is her name) and had a read?

Frightening, frightening stuff

xx

Cottonwoodchris

No way that I can moderate. Was a "weekend Warrior" for many a year with booze and drugs like coke, meth, acid. But had to be at work Monday and on top of my game (aerospace design with a Top Secret clearance no less) It worked for a few years, then got laid off, and on unemployment with Union benefits, it was all out party time. Stopped the coke and acid, but ramped up the other two. Finally broke the meth pipe 15 years ago and never went back. Alcohol is a clever, cunning, sneaky, conniving beast. One drink is too many and 1,000 is never enough. 28 days sober today for me, and loving it.

NEOMARXIST

I never drank moderately from the very first time I ever drank alcohol properly at 14. I was unconscious and vomitting all over the carpet right from the get go.

When I took a drink then I loved it far too much to ever stop until all the available booze had gone. As my drinking progressed then I would just go and buy more. I too was a "Weekend warrior" and used to not see it as a problem as binge-drinking was a good laugh, but alcoholism is progressive in so many ways and my drinking progressed. Also I was hooked on drugs when drinking, especially Cocaine, so I would take a lot of drugs too and would take a lot of coming down to baseline level, particularly when acid was knocking about in the area.

Moderation for me was limiting a drinking binge to one evening. That's how I used to be and would drink again the following evening etc. Bank holidays then i would go out and get wrecked Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday night, but only in the evenings, though on Saturdays I used to like the all dayers where we would go out at midday and stop out drinking untill the clubs shut at 3.00am.

All of this changed when I got into drinking as soon as I woke up. Then any slight control of alcohol was well and truly over. I would be unable not to drink again after drinking and became an obvious alcoholic for anybody to see. It took me a few years to accept that though, I just thought that I liked it that way.

Basically the only way alcohol doesn;t wreck my life is by not taking the first drink 'just for today'. I accept truly that I'm an alcoholic and I don;t drink under any circumstances but for me the only day I have is today so I like to work it 'just for today'. It gets you through some tricky times too, especially being young in a country where evrybody else drinks and binge-drinking and drugging is everywhere.

Peace

Itsmytime

The only thing that works for me is to eliminate alcohol.. I quit before for 5 years and started to moderate 4 years ago, everything was going fine, I only stuck to light beer didn't drink every week etc... The bam, major stress entered and I started on the downward spiral again. In the back of my mind I like to think I will be able to moderate, but in reality it's a lot of work and I am sick of alcohol always being on my mind. I am 32 days AF now and finally starting to feel like my old self again.

Take care,
IMT

SSIL75

yup, tried that in various forms. Even if I could stick to my plans (for like a week or something) I was totally that kid referenced above. Just, obsessed.

Fandy

maybe "moderating" would have worked for me 20 years ago....and if I had moderated in the first place I wouldn't gotten into a terrible addiction??? it's hard to say, hindsight is always 20/20.

I am like the others, I prefer myself sober, I am much less dramatic, upset and depressed....I function better, I sleep better.....I have less physical pain, much less anxiety and a lot more FREEDOM....before I felt tethered to the bottle of wine.

Kjell

If you're asking this question...than you already know your answer.

For any true alcoholic - moderation simply isn't possible. The only way is abstinence.