Juneof44

I was overthinking the entire 30 minute commute home. What ifs were plaguing my thought process. Back and forth back and forth went the argument in my mind. Should I stop or shouldn't I? I actually had the turn signal on and was in the turn lane to go by the gas station and grab a bottle - my usual daily routine.

Well, I put it back in gear, waited for traffic, canceled the signal and kept heading home.

And now, here I am, in a dry home drinking water like it's booze, and not the other way around. Can't say I don't want to hop in the car and head back though. But my son is watching Airbender and here I am behind the computer.

We'll see about day 3 tomorrow. I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow, and just focus on the here and now.

lildawg

Good job. I know it's hard right now, but it does get less hard. Notice, I did not say it gets easy. Keep on passing the liquor store or find a new route home.

Anna

Good for you!

And, yes, try to find a new way home.

Juneof44

It's like playing Halo on the "legendary" difficulty.

It should be called "Drive Home - legendary difficulty". Hopefully soon it just tones down to "normal" difficulty.

firestorm090

Oops, post went wacko, lol.

Keep hanging in there and welcome to SR.

least

It does get better with time. Keep yourself as healthy as you can, rest and exercise is good. Treat yourself well. It will get better.

Dee74

I agree with Anna - try and vary your routine up a little - and your way home.
It's rough June, but you're doing great so far

D

SoCalDude

I feel ya June! And all I have to do is walk to the closet, case of wine sitting there

SoCalDude

Oh, and if you know the gas station clerk, might want to tell him or her you won't be around anymore. I had a friend who was on a routine for 15 years, same place, same owner, same beer... he stopped drinking 2 years ago, and the clerk called the police after 2 days, reporting him kidnapped :-D

LexieCat

SoCal,

I would ditch the wine. Seriously.

If it's good wine and you can't bear to throw it away, donate it to a good cause to raffle off at a fundraiser or something.

topspin

June ,
Good job of "staying in the Day "

you're so right,

"I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow, and just focus on the here and now. "

Fandy

hey June, tomorrow take a different route home, stop at a different kind of store and buy something healthy....it will get easier. tomorrow AM you can wake up proud that you did NOT stop.

(PS, I love the taste of Smart-Water, it tastes "crisp").

SoCalDude

I'm going to take it to work, to our big potluck on Friday.. I never drink at work, even at the events they have (DUI scare)..

Thanks for the advice.

ItsMe23

When you pass that liquor store, just think of all the bad times it has brought, think of the pain it has caused. No one wants that for themselves, and good job at passing it up.

i had a similar experience today i was with my best friend and he cracked a beer for himself. I looked at it, it looked so good, so cold. But then i thought of my gf telling me "every time you touch alcohol it always ends up bad", and that was all it took.

hang in there you are not alone on your journey

artsoul

Good for you for listening to that rational part of you! It takes a while for the robotic alcohol brain to quiet down, but it really does get easier with time. Good advice on changing up a few things.....

Hang in there (ODAAT!)

LadyLuck

June,

As I read your post and responses that follow, this song started playing in my head called "Long Way Home". Probably because I was thinking would be a wise thing to do on your way from work if it means staying clear of the liquor store and possibly some nice scenery! Looked up the lyrics and they seem to fit your situation, so I thought I'd share:

Take The Long Way Home - Supertramp - 1979 (awesome, I was in diapers when this came out)

So you think you're a Romeo
playing a part in a picture-show
Take the long way home
Take the long way home

Cos you're the joke of the neighborhood
Why should you care if you're feeling good
Take the long way home
Take the long way home

But there are times that you feel you're part of the scenery
all the greenery is comin' down, boy
And then your wife seems to think you're part of the
furniture oh, it's peculiar, she used to be so nice.

When lonely days turn to lonely nights
you take a trip to the city lights
And take the long way home
Take the long way home

You never see what you want to see
Forever playing to the gallery
You take the long way home
Take the long way home

And when you're up on the stage, it's so unbelievable,
unforgettable, how they adore you,
But then your wife seems to think you're losing your sanity,
oh, calamity, is there no way out?

Does it feel that you life's become a catastrophe?
Oh, it has to be for you to grow, boy.
When you look through the years and see what you could
have been oh, what might have been,
if you'd had more time.

So, when the day comes to settle down,
Who's to blame if you're not around?
You took the long way home
You took the long way home........?


A bit cheesy, yes (definitely!), but the lyrics kinda resonate with the alcohol struggle, at least in my humble interpretion. I like the second to last paragraph.
YouTube - Roger Hodgson - Take The Long Way Home (From "Take The Long Way Home" DVD)

Great job NOT stopping!

Be well.