fighttowin

Went to my first all ladies aa meeting. Don't really know what to think. I am really sorry if I say something wrong. It was 4 older ladies and 1 lady serving her time must of got in trouble with the law and one other lady that I don't know what to say about her. They talked about a old lady dieing, their eye problems, bladder problems, house fixing problems, and the one I knew is a girlfriend mom and she did talk alittle about some issues she is dealing with. Is that how meeting go? I felt out of place the 3 old ladies kept looking at each other like we where wasting there time. I guess I expected more. Really when I left felt like drinking don't know if I will go back. Went to mcDees and grabbed a coke and a smile.now typing this while I get my toes done

DayTrader

Some go that way. Truthfully, I hear from a bunch of women I know in the program that that's how a fair amount of "women's meetings" end up.

To answer a question you didn't ask, NO, no that's not AA. That's a support group of ppl gossiping calling themselves an AA meeting.

Don't go back.....find another meeting. --STAT.

scared1

I felt similar at the 4 meetings I attended. It just didn't feel as great and supportive as everyone spoke about. People seemed mean. I will try it again, just to make sure. Good luck

milwaukeeguy85

It took me going to 4 different places to find a group that wants to be sober and make it a top priority. It is a bit difficult to find a quality meeting as some of them are just littered with court ordered people that are only there to get there sheet signed, where others are people that you just do not feel you can relate to or talk to. So my advice is if this one doesn't work out, you should try to find one that does work for you as it takes a bit of trial and error. However, if you are really serious about this at least the time you spend looking for a good meeting will be time spent on something other than drinking.

LexieCat

I second what DayTrader said,

This is NOT what AA is about. Any group gathered for support for not drinking is allowed to call itself an AA meeting, as long as they have no other affiliation. But the group you described is not practicing the AA Traditions, nor are they discussing the AA program.

Keep looking, and don't limit yourself to women's groups. There are many fine women's groups out there, but in my own experience the larger groups are more likely to have more members who are committed to sharing the message.

fighttowin

We live in a smaller town aa gatherings are at weird times that don't really work. I have to drive aways to get there and always at 7 I think they might have some over lunch big book study. - don't know but will not go back to that nightmare. I wonder if the one lady will go back and tell her daugher. Mostly likely will and I really don't want her to know my. stuff. Her husband worked for me and ended up killing himself. he too was a drunk. What is the cost of treatment programs or group meetings? Thanks.

Anna

Hi Fighttowin,

I'm sorry that you had a bad experience at the meeting.

The cost of treatment programs would vary with the situation and the time in treatment. I hope you find something that works for you.

And, please know that SR is here to offer you support anytime.

Carrie36

I too have had bad experiences with our small town AA group. I definetely didnt feel I was getting the support I needed and it wasnt how I thought an AA meeting would go...there was very little talk of problems due to alcoholism and a whole lot of griping and gossiping. Anyway it really turned me off AA. I dont drive and the closest city is about an hour away.

Ive chosen to get help through a outpatient teratment program now.

Carrie36

Let me clarify that I am NOT bagging on AA...I think that with the right group and fundamentals it is an amazing program.

Squizz

Find a different meeting. I've had three homegroups. The first one was like a coffee club. The second one was gossip alley. But this one has a really good vibe to it. Just find one that you're comfortable in. And always remember one thing: Just like in any other walk of life, there's people you're not going to like in AA. The winners stick with the people they do like, and can relate to.

CarolD

I did not know a thing about AA or what to expect
when I began attending.....
So....y'all are ahead of me there.

Anyway....when I came on line..already 3 years AA committed
I found this link to be informative to anyone new
or exploreing the AA program.

Your First AA Meeting<

And of course...not everyone happily sucessfully sober uses AA.
There is no wrong way to find sobriety.

Wishing everyone the joy of a sober life....

DayTrader

that's right.... it took me a year and a half to find ONE meeting I love. turns out, a whole pack of "winners" hang out there... all of them just kinda found each other and, considering it's an 8:30 am meeting on Saturday, the only ppl who show regularly are the folks truly committed to sobriety, the program, the steps and the fellowship.

Lionne

Hey fighthtowin,
As the others said, doin't give up yet on group meetings, but I agree it is probably better to find another group. Even if it can take a lot of effort to muster the courage to go, chances is that you meet some great, inspiring people.

And this doesn't only happen in AA, I went to secular meeting at a women's group and there were some similarities to the situation you described. I guess it's just the group dynamics that occur everywhere given the right/wrong constellation of people. So I am currently looking into other options. Until I have found a group that suits me and where I feel I fit in, I still use the forums. I wish you good luck and a lot of courage,
Hugs, LS

oak

Sorry that your experience sucked. Made me laugh because 2 weeks ago I went to a women's meeting and it seemed at times more like a general support or social group. I wanted to cry during the meeting! I have been to other women's groups that I liked.

You said there are few meetings to choose from. I hope you are able to find a different one that you like. In addition to checking out other AA meetings, you could also check with SMART or Women for Sobriety to see if they have meetings near you. In terms of finding professional treatment programs and meetings, I suppose you could try looking in the phone book (or an internet search) and calling places or therapists to get that info.

People also recover without face-to-face meetings. Although I personally am drawn to face-to-face meetings. I like the social support.

Good luck on finding what works for you!

Cottonwoodchris

Personally, in my area and time frame that I can go, all the AA meetings are just not my cup of tea. But, doing some Internetting, I found 2 awesome NA meetings, right time and close by. Still the same principals as AA but it's for drug addicts, and they do consider alcohol as a drug. They even say as much in the readings in the beginning of the meetings. Really great, supportive people. Which, coming up on one month sober, I really need right now.

FTW, hang in there. May take a while but I'm sure you will find a group that will "click" like I finally did.

stephnc

Dear Lord, no! That's not an AA meeting, it's a bitch-session. I'm so sorry about your experience, that really sucks. I can't add much to what's already been said here but I do hope you find a better group - one that studies the book and teaches the steps.

fighttowin

keepcominback} that is so funny becouse I was thinking last night I should have asked them whats your deal why are u here. I use to go to al alon and we always talked about the readings. They just read from the book closed it and then this weird talking started. I too wanted to just cry, why did I come to this? what the heck. I think I am going to look else where they where way to old for me plus I work with old people daily and I would hate to have them as a client.

augustwest

it happens, but that's not the primary purpose of aa, which is to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. the message is hope. what you experienced sounds like ladies chatting over coffee.

the thing is, that aa is comprised of......











people

and just like with any group of people that gather anywhere under any pretenses, the possibilities are endless. i wouldn't give up on aa because of a few old ladies and how they impacted your experience.

Mcribb

Go to a newcomers meeting ask for a sponser, tak the sponsers ear off when you can about what you want. Your sponser will put you on the program.

fighttowin

Thanks for the support> I did try to have a open mind and tryed to figure them out. Today I dont know if I will go back. I thought about calling this guy that is involed with aa/al alon. When face to face it would be nice to have a group of ladies my age that also have drinking issues. I know older people can give great advice dont get me wrong, but I know with the way the world is and people have so much on their plate. I feel I can express the way I feel to a closer age group and maybe it makes me not feel alone (DON'T KNOW). I have not wanted to drink but after that I sure could of used a drink and I feel that way today again. Maybe just stages I dont know.