What do I do with the shame?
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Could it be that "shame" has two sides, an optimistic side and a dark side? The optimistic side is that if a person feels shame then he or she at least has an awareness that that person has done something wrong or harmful either to himself or to others? Thus is it not even worse to say that "that person is without shame!" Certain folks may actually be that way, i.e. may be what are called sociopaths.
But the dark side of shame may be that it is a way that the mind responds to the body's need to feed its addiction. In other words, the mind of the alcoholic, influenced by the addiction, says to itself, "I feel so ashamed! I'm no good! Maybe a drink or two would make me feel better." The drinking continues, worsens and the shame increases.
If a person stops drinking, works a program to do that, then gradually the shame lessens and it's amazing how ready folks in the community are willing to forgive and even admire the person who gets into recovery. Then you can try to forget the past, or at least not think or obcess about it, and look to a better future.
W.
But the dark side of shame may be that it is a way that the mind responds to the body's need to feed its addiction. In other words, the mind of the alcoholic, influenced by the addiction, says to itself, "I feel so ashamed! I'm no good! Maybe a drink or two would make me feel better." The drinking continues, worsens and the shame increases.
If a person stops drinking, works a program to do that, then gradually the shame lessens and it's amazing how ready folks in the community are willing to forgive and even admire the person who gets into recovery. Then you can try to forget the past, or at least not think or obcess about it, and look to a better future.
W.
Last edited by wpainterw; 09-28-2010 at 02:36 PM. Reason: typo
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