Social anxiety and stimulant abuse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 144
Social anxiety and stimulant abuse
I've noticed that, as a college student now living at a university, I find myself craving stimulants due to their ability to make me magically super-social and likable whereas I am almost the opposite when completely sober. I long to meet people and I actually do well with people, but I get way too anxious when it comes to social gatherings and such.
Not so much asking for advice; I am about to attend therapy again. Rather, some stories might help
thanks!
Not so much asking for advice; I am about to attend therapy again. Rather, some stories might help
thanks!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
I've never done stimulants but alcohol was the same for me, Teal.
I guess I'm a bit older than you but I've reached a point where it doesn't matter anymore to me - I'm naturally kinda shy & thats ok - I am what I am.
I'm glad you're seeing a therapist - it's a far better way to go than self medicating
D
I guess I'm a bit older than you but I've reached a point where it doesn't matter anymore to me - I'm naturally kinda shy & thats ok - I am what I am.
I'm glad you're seeing a therapist - it's a far better way to go than self medicating
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 7
Hi, I did the same thing with ____ (insert any kind of pill here)! I understand how you feel. I did not use stimulants, but used pills for the same reason--at first anyway. Later down the road I used them to combat any type of negative emotions at all. I am glad to hear you are seeking the help of a counselor. I did the same and now handle emotions and social situations better than ever in my life! It took some time and work, but it helped so much. I obtained a counselor (therapist actually) thru my chemical dependency program. Therefore, she works not only with my sobriety, but with my anxiety and depression too. It is great. Make sure if your first therapist doesn't fit well, you look for another. I know I went to two counselors before finding my current counselor at my treatment program. They were not a good fit so I kept looking (One could not understand drug addiction at all) and the other blamed everything on my being an addict (irritating). good luck
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hey man. Yes I used to use stims (Coke, BZP, Amphet, E's) when going out to mix but to be honest then like my drinkign and drug use in general then I always took a lot. So to anybody else not on the drugs it was probably quite apparent that my pupils were massive and I was 'edgy'. I always drank with stims to take the 'edgyness' off.
Basically it's a good buzz when others are on it as well but where i would go hang out then it was really just full of people getting proper f*cked up. I was always the most f*cked up though in mnay ways. Sure it was a good buzz chatting and chatting away but ultimately just ended up with myself alone in my room after the party doing coke and pills alone and drinking.
Basically with stims, like booze, I had zero self-control. I remember doing ten pills all alone and the most BZP I ever did was 16 pills in 24 hours. That was a lot. I don't know how I used to manage it as I was out of bed at 3pm and outside chatting to family and stuff. Basically my comedowns got worse and my ability to function for days after got worse. I just drank through my comedowns and my drinking escalated.
In regards to Coke then there's a limit to how social it is when you're in the toilet every two minutes. The irony of Coke is it's probably the most antisocial of all drugs in many ways but gives the illusion of being super social. My Coke use was totallly out of control. Upwards of 3 grams a night most nights I did it for the last few years.
I remember the first time doing speed when I was 19 at a party, and I loved it. I always drank loads when doing speed. I loved speed and the buzz and the tingles in the head and all of that but speed really makes your pupils massive, so again to anybody not on drugs, then it's apparent that you're on drugs. Also I used to talk constantly, which was great, but again a little 'false'. I used to love the whole scene though and had to mourn and grieve it to be honest.
All these drugs came into their own through music, both alone at parties or at clubs, but I accepted I was as alcoholic and addict so for me the fun was long since gone. I knew what the reality for me was and where I used to always end up.
I accept myself as being a little shy now but that's OK as that's who I am.
Peace
Basically it's a good buzz when others are on it as well but where i would go hang out then it was really just full of people getting proper f*cked up. I was always the most f*cked up though in mnay ways. Sure it was a good buzz chatting and chatting away but ultimately just ended up with myself alone in my room after the party doing coke and pills alone and drinking.
Basically with stims, like booze, I had zero self-control. I remember doing ten pills all alone and the most BZP I ever did was 16 pills in 24 hours. That was a lot. I don't know how I used to manage it as I was out of bed at 3pm and outside chatting to family and stuff. Basically my comedowns got worse and my ability to function for days after got worse. I just drank through my comedowns and my drinking escalated.
In regards to Coke then there's a limit to how social it is when you're in the toilet every two minutes. The irony of Coke is it's probably the most antisocial of all drugs in many ways but gives the illusion of being super social. My Coke use was totallly out of control. Upwards of 3 grams a night most nights I did it for the last few years.
I remember the first time doing speed when I was 19 at a party, and I loved it. I always drank loads when doing speed. I loved speed and the buzz and the tingles in the head and all of that but speed really makes your pupils massive, so again to anybody not on drugs, then it's apparent that you're on drugs. Also I used to talk constantly, which was great, but again a little 'false'. I used to love the whole scene though and had to mourn and grieve it to be honest.
All these drugs came into their own through music, both alone at parties or at clubs, but I accepted I was as alcoholic and addict so for me the fun was long since gone. I knew what the reality for me was and where I used to always end up.
I accept myself as being a little shy now but that's OK as that's who I am.
Peace
EntertheSticks
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 139
Have done stimulants with drinking a million times. It can really turn you in to a complete nut case, and I do not really want to get in to some of my "stories" but they are pretty bad, or shall I say Humiliating.
I would eat so many stimulants when I was drinking that I had to start eating Kolonopins so I could even get to sleep. Which in itself is another terrible terrible problem. Benzos are not really "encouraged" while drinking.
I would eat so many stimulants when I was drinking that I had to start eating Kolonopins so I could even get to sleep. Which in itself is another terrible terrible problem. Benzos are not really "encouraged" while drinking.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
I understand that you feel more comfortable, and I felt more comfortable in a social situation if I was drinking. So, in recovery, I do feel less comfortable in social situations, especially if I don't know people. But, part of my recovery has been accepting that about myself. I go out less than I used to, and I like it that way.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hi teal! As you know, I have recovered from a long term stimulant addiction. I don't have any great words of wisdom for you. But my experience is that it gets better... That social thing. And when it does it gets more real... More two sided ... I began to see and hear others in ways I didn't while on the Ritalin ... Have faith... And keep going, you will be fine...
.
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Tn
Posts: 48
I can relate, because every time I went out, I would have to have a drink, because I don't feel comfortable around a lot of people I don't know. I remember when I first started attending my day group, I felt nauseous and nervous because I was around people I didn't know and I was out of my comfort zone. I'm sure if I had been drinking I would have acted like it didn't matter because alcohol was my mask. Now as the days have passed on, I've noticed that I'm becoming a little more open. I also notice I can get along well with people ,yet when it comes to a gathering, I feel a lot more intimidated and nervous, so I tend to stay in the background. I've got two roommates who are very outgoing, and sometimes they bring me out of my shell, but I'm still struggling to be more comfortable in social situations. I know the more I work on it, the more it will get better to just be me, no mask included.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 285
I have used drugs of all kinds and alcy in college. And right now I am back in college but sober. Oh, and I have big problems with social anxiety.
When first getting sober a couple of years ago, I thought that I was a lot more fun and cool when wasted and that I couldn't have fun with people unless intoxicated--I was wrong. In my experience, my perception of how socially smooth I was in my old days had more to do with the fact that when I was high I felt inside like I fit in (it doesn't mean that I actually did). Those relationships built upon getting wrecked together have faded, not only because I stopped using, but because once I removed the drugs I realized that I had nothing in common with those people. The friends that I have made since sobriety, on the other hand, are more meaningful.
Obviously, the social anxiety stuff can be a drag but if you stick around sobriety for awhile I think that you will find it easier, I know that I do now.
Good luck.
When first getting sober a couple of years ago, I thought that I was a lot more fun and cool when wasted and that I couldn't have fun with people unless intoxicated--I was wrong. In my experience, my perception of how socially smooth I was in my old days had more to do with the fact that when I was high I felt inside like I fit in (it doesn't mean that I actually did). Those relationships built upon getting wrecked together have faded, not only because I stopped using, but because once I removed the drugs I realized that I had nothing in common with those people. The friends that I have made since sobriety, on the other hand, are more meaningful.
Obviously, the social anxiety stuff can be a drag but if you stick around sobriety for awhile I think that you will find it easier, I know that I do now.
Good luck.
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