My first attempt at honesty in a long time.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Hi June
There's a test to see if you're strong enough to do it on your own....it's your experience. I had a really tough time being honest with myself in acknowledging my own actual experience when it came to trying to control my drinking. I continually thought "this time WILL be different."
My experience was I needed help. I couldn't do it with will power. I couldn't stop and stay stopped. I guess it's dependant upon how far you've gone. Many people are able to set their mind to it and just quit. I wasn't able to do that - that's what my experience said. Telling ppl what's going on, sharing my problems.....none of that SOLVED my problem. Somehow, I always found a reason to go back to the bottle. It was apparent to me that there was more going on in my head than JUST the issues with drinking....and I didn't know what it was nor how to fix it.
If you find yourself in that same position there's good news and bad news - you might be an alcoholic and, if you are, it's fatal but more than that.....it's a mean / nasty death. The good news is that you can recover from it. You'll always have it with you.....but it can go into remission.
I found my solution, after trying every method I could think of and failing, by working the AA program of recovery. It's made ALL the difference. I couldn't just "stop drinking" ya know..... I drank no matter what. Now.....3+ yrs in.....I can't tell you the last time I considered it.
I read a lot of posts here about people fighting the addiction, worrying about their triggers, wondering if "this" or "that" will make them get drunk. You DON'T HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE THAT WAY. Recovery is NOT about relapse prevention.......it's about getting RECOVERED.....recovered from your drinking problems and from your living problems. Anything less........and you're just cheating yourself out of a wonderful life - and that life IS available to you.......it's right there.....but you've got to be willing to go get it.
best of luck........I hope you find your way.
I decided to quit drinking today, like I have countless times in the past. I don't think or know if this time is going to be different. It's like I can't get my head around whether or not I am strong enough to even do this.
My experience was I needed help. I couldn't do it with will power. I couldn't stop and stay stopped. I guess it's dependant upon how far you've gone. Many people are able to set their mind to it and just quit. I wasn't able to do that - that's what my experience said. Telling ppl what's going on, sharing my problems.....none of that SOLVED my problem. Somehow, I always found a reason to go back to the bottle. It was apparent to me that there was more going on in my head than JUST the issues with drinking....and I didn't know what it was nor how to fix it.
If you find yourself in that same position there's good news and bad news - you might be an alcoholic and, if you are, it's fatal but more than that.....it's a mean / nasty death. The good news is that you can recover from it. You'll always have it with you.....but it can go into remission.
I found my solution, after trying every method I could think of and failing, by working the AA program of recovery. It's made ALL the difference. I couldn't just "stop drinking" ya know..... I drank no matter what. Now.....3+ yrs in.....I can't tell you the last time I considered it.
I read a lot of posts here about people fighting the addiction, worrying about their triggers, wondering if "this" or "that" will make them get drunk. You DON'T HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE THAT WAY. Recovery is NOT about relapse prevention.......it's about getting RECOVERED.....recovered from your drinking problems and from your living problems. Anything less........and you're just cheating yourself out of a wonderful life - and that life IS available to you.......it's right there.....but you've got to be willing to go get it.
best of luck........I hope you find your way.
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