Second DUI and scared to death
 

I don't know what it is going to take to get healthy. Looks like i'm facing jail time, don't know how much time....

My family use to get angry at my behavior. Now they are just sad. I'm 36 and losing everything that is important to me. :headbange

Welcome back pw773

I don't know what to say that hasn't been said before...I just hope you've had enough now.

Are you going to AA or NA?

D

I'm sure i'll be doing a lot of AA soon. I have been before and will be going back soon. believe it or not... personal connections scare the hell out of me, yet paradoxically, I'm lonely as hell.

Thanks for the welcome back

I'm glad you're going back pw.
I hope this, as bad as it is, can be your turning point.

D

PW, I'm sure that your ARE scared, but I am equally certain that you can use this experience to fuel your recovery. There's a saying about an elevator...we need not take it to the ground floor; we can get off whenever we choose. It's a strange paradox about recovery: once we admit that we CANNOT drink, under any circumstances, we can begin to rebuild our lives, one brick at a time.

You didn't say, but hopefully no one was physically injured in this situation. If not, then that is a small blessing. Yes, you need to face the music, but this is also an opportunity to rewrite the score.

I don't mean to sound flippant or unfeeling. I would be scared as well. I guess what I am trying to say is that do the things you have to do, take responsibility for your actions and use this situation to change your life. You can do this.

fortunately, no one was hurt.... no accident.

thank you hideorseek...

Welcome back.....:hug:

This time....find an AA sponsor and begin doing Step work.
That moved me into solid recovery....:yup:

PW- I know you are scared and lonely but that didnot stop you from drinking before. Fear never stopped me from drinking. At first, I enjoyed drinking a lot till the time came that everytime I drank something bad happened. Slowly, my life was turning to mess and more mess. Eventually, I was fed up with the chaous and mess in my life, I was fed up with my heart aching from the many drinks and substances I used and the hangovers later..That's when I hit a hard bottom. I said I give up. I kenw deep in me that i couldnot drink even one more drink without starting the cycle of bad accidents and I was sick of trouble. I still had my job , my car and family but lost me. I hated what I have become. This is when I truely worked the program to the best of my ability. Thank God I have today one year sober. You can have it too my friend if you had enough. Welcome to the club.

welcome back it's good that you knew where to come for support. you know what you NEED to do to help yourself....but you have to want to do it.

Glad you're back and seeking recovery.

Welcome back, PW,

When you go to AA this time, work the steps as if your life depended on it--it does! I have a hard time making personal connections, too, and I had become VERY isolated in my drinking. AA helps with all of that.

If AA were ONLY a way to quit drinking, it would be helpful, but the problem is that most alcoholics are messed-up inside, on a lot of different levels, and just taking the alcohol away isn't enough to "fix" us. I know a few people who have gotten sober in advance of having to serve a jail term, and they have said that their recovery has made it easier to deal with the consequences and move past it.

Ya know PW, looking back at them, my DUI's were a blessing in disguise. The punishment sucks... not gonna sugar coat that...but I'll say this, the actual punishment handed out by the court wasn't as painful as the fear in my head leading up to my court dates.

Go easy on yourself - maybe you're an alcoholic. If so, short of getting recovered, DUI's are part of the game for most of us. Not everyone get 'em.....some alcoholics have to just drink and drink and drink and figure out that they're alcoholic without getting forced by a judge to consider it.

I've had 3 1/2 years without a license, can't own a car, and spent somewhere around $20-30k on my last 2 DUI's (#2 and #3) but I can say this with all honesty - I'm glad I got 'em. I've got my life back now....and I've got a shot at making it better from here. Were it not for getting arrested and being forced to look at my alcoholism, I can't imagine how messed up my life would be right now. I'd probably still be drinking....if I were still alive.

PW, I buried my mother after she died from alcholism - her liver and kindeys shut down, she went into a coma, and we had to make the decision to remove her from life support. I had first gone to an AA meeting 15 years prior while in college and knew I didn't drink normally, but couldn't accept that I was an alcoholic and couldn't drink at all. It took me another ten years after my Mom died of the pain, lonliness and loss of active alcoholism before I ran out of alternatives and voluntarily sought treatment. In all, over a quarter century of my adult life knowing I had a problem but refusing to address it. That's the thing about alcoholism: it's a lesson you will face repeatedly in increasingly stark ways until you either stop drinking or die trying to avoid the truth. The surprising thing is, I cannot believe the ways and extent that my life has improved in the nine months since I gave up trying to outrun my own shadow.

You CAN do this - millions have done it before. All you need is the willingness to go to any length to get it. The irony is, when you become that willing, the lengths required are not all that great.

I wish you all the best - this could be the best thing that ever happened to you. The choice is yours.

Eddie

Not soon. . .do it now. go find a meeting. yes, most of us alcoholics are loners, we isolate ourselves. The idea of going to an AA meeting, in a group, and potentially opening up to other people can be very scary. BUT when you find the right meeting for you, it is a welcome relief. Like going home. Alcoholics and addicts can truly relate to each other.

Welcome, pw773.

I remember walking out of a courtroom a few years ago and, for the first time, knowing the truth about myself. I was an alcoholic and I was doomed to pick up that next drink. I was awaiting a court date for another DUI while on probation for a previous DUI. That judge told me to look her in the eye to make sure that I understood that if I were caught drinking while awaiting that sentencing, I would serve the full jail sentence (5 years).

And I walk out of there shaking my head, thinking that this judge didn't understand much about alcoholism. The truth hit me. I knew what would happen if I drank, and I knew without a doubt that I would drink.

I knew that fear, consequences, wanting to be better, a sincere desire to stop drinking, was absolutely not going to work for me.

I knew I was doomed. Here is your life, Keith, the wreckage of it all around, and the only thing to look forward to was it just getting worse. And I knew I was going to drink anyway.

A short time later, lost in that desperate panic, I called a guy in AA who talked about a spiritual solution as being the only hope of a chronic alcoholic like him. Like me.

He took me through the BB, showed me the directions, listened to my experience and related his, and walked me through the 12 Steps. Like the book promises, I recovered and know a life beyond my expectations.

I've since been blessed with carrying that message, those directions, to others and watched them recover as well.

Camanche put it well. Rarely have we seen a person fail.

Welcome back. Thankfully you're still alive, and have a chance at recovery. I know spending time in jail helped me turn my act around. I didn't get sober right out of jail, but was a turning point for me. Things never got as bad as they were prior to me going to jail. Maybe doing some time will help you reflect on your past, and give you a chance to think about what you're going to do in the future. My life isn't perfect, but it was a lot better than it was. All I can say, is good luck to you. Staying sober isn't easy, but is doable. Hopefully things turn around for you!

Hey pw,

I was in the same predicament a few years ago, the fear and shame were not enough to get out of that horrible loop. Actually fear and shame made be grab a hold of that wine again and again. It took something bigger than me to dig me out of that hole, I found that in SR and my HP. That is what helped me move "over" myself and into better things.
I hope this was your bottom, so you can find it in you to move too.

Thank you all for your comments. I read them very thoughtfully. It's amazing to me how, if I just reach out, people will reach back. Thank you.

A day of sobriety today :) Not exactly easy but doable

Hi pw773 - All the good stuff's been said already, but I'll just add I know you can do this and have a whole new life, free from the grips of alcohol. I had 3 DUI's - and still I didn't stop drinking. (I did stop driving, though.) After my arrests, drinking was never fun or relaxing anymore. I knew I'd had it - it just took me awhile to actually lay it down. I asked myself when was the last time drinking had been fun? The answer was - decades ago - and the enjoyment wouldn't and couldn't ever come back for me. Only hell lay ahead if I didn't stop.

I'm a shy person, but once I opened up here on SR 3 yrs. ago my life hasn't been the same. When I got those first few responses, I felt a huge weight lifted from me - I wasn't alone anymore. You aren't either - and never have to be again. Congratulations for seeing the light. Let us know how you're doing.