Trying to give a damn.
 

So where do I begin? Well for starters, this is my first post here. I stumbled upon this site (pun intended) a few years back searching for stories I could relate to (which I found) and also for some inspiration to get my life together. A little history on my substance abuse: I started drinking when I was 18 years old, started smoking weed when I was 19, pills became a big part of my life once I reached the age of 21. This is also the age I discovered heroin which I eventually became addicted to but not until 3 years later but that's not important...Heroin is a loud word and yes it affected my life in a negative way but no more than alcohol or the pills. I know I can use any substance to destroy my life, Im an addict, doesnt matter what I touch, it always ends up consuming me sooner or later. I feel that this attempt to get sober/clean is the most sincere attempt Ive ever made. Im trying to let go of my nhilistic thought patterns and unrealistic expectations. Im somewhat of a perfectionist which I believe is a huge contributor to my use as well. The main motivation factor for me this time is happiness. Also I am a deeply sensitive person and when i cannot express myself creativity through music I get severly depressed. Writersblock is rock bottom for this 25 year old. I just cant deal with the anxiety/depression that cripples me when I dont take care of myself anymore. Ive had numerous near death experience which never really phased or scared me until now. When i was 20 I overdosed on methadone/xanax/alcohol and ended up aspirating and barely survived. Just this year I have overdosed once on heroin, once from a combination of xanax/fentayl and just recently from oxycodone/xanax...I now have a little over a month away from opiates and benzodiazepines and two weeks away from alcohol. So basically I have just over two weeks clean. I eventually want to go back to NA meetings, and I know the sooner the better. Anyway thanks for letting me get this off my head, I look forward to using the hope I find here as a building block to getting my life back on track.

Welcome!

I'm glad you decided to post and seek support here.

Congratulations on your 2 weeks clean!

Hugs going out to you LI (that's where my roots are). Thanks for sharing.

I'm glad you will be getting back to NA quickly
and hope you will begin fresh with Step work.....:yup:

Welcome ....:wavey:

Hi longislandsk8r

Welcome to SR. Congratultions on yr clean time :)

There's a lot of support here, and in our substance abuse and alcoholism forums as well.

I hope you hit a meeting and start getting some numbers and maybe a sponsor ASAP.
I don't think it hurts to have all the support we can get.

D

Welcome to the SR family!:) I'm glad you joined us. Lots of support and useful information here. Read and post - we're glad you're here.

Welcome to SR!
I hope you like it here.
keep posting!