About to lose Everything rapidly
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: DE
Posts: 48
About to lose Everything rapidly
New here, been drinking for over 20 years, mostly binge and progressively worse in the past 2 years after my divorce. It's affected my health, relationships, I've managed to stay out of the law trouble though. I've climbed the latter in my career but in the last year have now screwed that up, I'm on leave now with a final warning and last change as I've had 2 bad and humiliating incidents with alcohol and it's become somewhat public. I am sunk and risking loosing everything now, job, child custody, health and just life. Never been to the ER, but have been 6 times in the past 6 months, 2 of those, Suicide attempts. I have sunk soooo far, and am so depressed and anxious about doom right now I don't know what to do. I just joined and agressive outpatient program, but think I may need more. Can anyone offer any suggestions? I went to AA in the past but am very uncomfortable in group settings. Now I feel I may have to go no matter what. Read so many books on the subject but I keep failing at it for some awful reason. I'm now at the point of giving up, I've fought so damn hard and let everyone down including myself. Is there hope without a struggle every damn day or am I doomed????
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Hmmm. Sounds pretty much like me when I got sober. I had additional legal troubles, but everything else you said was spot on.
Yes, Sean, there is hope. I've been sober for a number of years, and I haven't struggled with it for a long time.
I called a guy in AA who talked about a spiritual solution as being my only hope. He showed me the precise directions for taking the 12 Steps and having a spiritual awakening. I followed them to the best of my ability, I recovered, and I haven't struggled with booze since.
Are you willing to do that? If so, there is a lot of hope.
Yes, Sean, there is hope. I've been sober for a number of years, and I haven't struggled with it for a long time.
I called a guy in AA who talked about a spiritual solution as being my only hope. He showed me the precise directions for taking the 12 Steps and having a spiritual awakening. I followed them to the best of my ability, I recovered, and I haven't struggled with booze since.
Are you willing to do that? If so, there is a lot of hope.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
maybe if you make a plan and start with #1. Stop drinking. Find support anywhere you can. Secure a job, current or new, and take it from there.
Don''t worry at the moment about how disappointed everyone is just focus on yourself getting better. This will give you a boost and confidence. Everything else will eventually fall in place. For better or for worse, whatever happens, keep yourself sober and move back on up. You have nowhere to go but up.
Don't let any setbacks make you take the first exit to the bottle.
I wish you all the best. :day6
Don''t worry at the moment about how disappointed everyone is just focus on yourself getting better. This will give you a boost and confidence. Everything else will eventually fall in place. For better or for worse, whatever happens, keep yourself sober and move back on up. You have nowhere to go but up.
Don't let any setbacks make you take the first exit to the bottle.
I wish you all the best. :day6
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi Sean
Welcome to SR
I know how it is to find yourself in that position.
In my experience there's only one way out and that's action - whether it be asking about available Employee Assistance Programs, or seeing your doctor and being open and honest with them and listening to their suggestions, or looking into rehab, or AA or some other recovery group, or counselling...
whatever you choose, do something Sean, and do it as soon as you can.
You'll find a lot of support here
D
Welcome to SR
I know how it is to find yourself in that position.
In my experience there's only one way out and that's action - whether it be asking about available Employee Assistance Programs, or seeing your doctor and being open and honest with them and listening to their suggestions, or looking into rehab, or AA or some other recovery group, or counselling...
whatever you choose, do something Sean, and do it as soon as you can.
You'll find a lot of support here
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family! Many of us here have had experiences as bad or worse than yours and are now in recovery and living a better life than they'd ever thought possible.
I agree with Dee. Do something. Whatever you do, be it AA or Employee Assistance Programs, or counseling, do it with all your heart and soul. It's your life here, and you still are able to make choices about what you want to do with it. You could start with asking your doctor for help in quitting.
I wish you the best in your journey. I sunk pretty low when I was drinking but finally managed to get sober and now have over nine months. So if I can do it, you can too.
Yes, there is hope and no, you're not doomed.
Many of us here have had experiences as bad or worse than yours and are now in recovery and living a better life than they'd ever thought possible. I agree with Dee. Do something. Whatever you do, be it AA or Employee Assistance Programs, or counseling, do it with all your heart and soul. It's your life here, and you still are able to make choices about what you want to do with it. You could start with asking your doctor for help in quitting.
I wish you the best in your journey. I sunk pretty low when I was drinking but finally managed to get sober and now have over nine months. So if I can do it, you can too.
Yes, there is hope and no, you're not doomed. Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 395
Welcome to SR. I can relate to a lot of what you had to say. I am an alcoholic/addict and what I realized is that when I drink, I lose.
I lose opportunities, jobs, burn professional and personal, bridges, end up in detox, getting dui's, walking around with feelings of guilt, self-loathing, depression, and anxiety among other things.
Ultimately, I came to the end of my rope and had to make changes. The first and most important one change is putting the drink down. Your life is certainly salvageable, but it will continue to get worse if you continue on this path. I can tell that it gets better, much better. It requires time and effort.
I don't believe in a 'one size fits all solution' to recovery. I am an AA guy myself, but AA is not a perfect program for me. It is just extremely useful and helpful. However, there is SMART Recovery which is really the only different group therapy outside of the 12 steps. There are also a plethora of of 12 step spin-offs. Additionally, you could try to seek professional help or you can rely upon this forum. There are members here who have gotten sober mainly relying on the support and help offered here.
Regardless, you need to put the plug in the jug. Then you need to make some changes because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.
I lose opportunities, jobs, burn professional and personal, bridges, end up in detox, getting dui's, walking around with feelings of guilt, self-loathing, depression, and anxiety among other things.
Ultimately, I came to the end of my rope and had to make changes. The first and most important one change is putting the drink down. Your life is certainly salvageable, but it will continue to get worse if you continue on this path. I can tell that it gets better, much better. It requires time and effort.
I don't believe in a 'one size fits all solution' to recovery. I am an AA guy myself, but AA is not a perfect program for me. It is just extremely useful and helpful. However, there is SMART Recovery which is really the only different group therapy outside of the 12 steps. There are also a plethora of of 12 step spin-offs. Additionally, you could try to seek professional help or you can rely upon this forum. There are members here who have gotten sober mainly relying on the support and help offered here.
Regardless, you need to put the plug in the jug. Then you need to make some changes because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
Is a 28-Day Rehab an option for you?
This might be something that would help you ramp up quickly and show those around you how serious you are about getting clean. It would even help not hurt custody issues from what I hear.
Best of luck. I've been right there in your shoes but with lots of help I've been sober now for a year and change.
Best of luck. I've been right there in your shoes but with lots of help I've been sober now for a year and change.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 345
Sean, alcohol is good at erasing everything in our lives and won't stop until it succeeds at erasing us off the earth and puts us 6 feet under. If you continue drinking, truly you are doomed.
You can get your life on the right track, but as others have mentioned, it is going to take work and time, it won't happen overnight.
As others have pointed out, there are different ways and places to get help. My own experience with that was I went to counseling and I also joined A.A. Counseling helped me very much so and it was a journey in itself. But, A.A., the fellowship and the 12 Steps to recovery are the most important things that have entered my life. Today I live a good life and have a good life. A life that I thought was never going to be possible for someone like me.
If you hang around here and read other peoples situations and other peoples successes, you can start believing, believing that you can do it also.
Good luck and God be with you.
Harry
You can get your life on the right track, but as others have mentioned, it is going to take work and time, it won't happen overnight.
As others have pointed out, there are different ways and places to get help. My own experience with that was I went to counseling and I also joined A.A. Counseling helped me very much so and it was a journey in itself. But, A.A., the fellowship and the 12 Steps to recovery are the most important things that have entered my life. Today I live a good life and have a good life. A life that I thought was never going to be possible for someone like me.
If you hang around here and read other peoples situations and other peoples successes, you can start believing, believing that you can do it also.
Good luck and God be with you.
Harry
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
If there wasn't hope - and i mean REAL hope, I'd be out drinking now.....TODAY.........RIGHT NOW. If recovery wasn't better in almost every way - including making just about everything I used to only love IF I was drinking better when NOT drinking..... I'd be back out there now.
I feel like I got my "pro status" after my divorce too. I went from alcoholic binge drinking to just drinking all the time. As quickly as it happened, I didn't notice it at the time either. DUI's, trouble at work, decreased income, alienating long-term friends, all that stuff. Worst of all.....it was the shame that I walked around with. I just couldn't get the crap OFF me, yanno?
AA.....yeahhhh, riiiiiiight..... like "not drinking" will do anything. That was my mantra...
Well, I'm here to tell you there IS hope.....and substantially more than that in AA. How about feeling plugged back into life? Not feeling like a failure & not acting like one anymore. How about renewed relationships with children and relatives not to mention renewed respect in the office place.
"All this just from 'not drinking'?" Well..... we don't drink, that's part of the game but the real deal is learning how to live again. That's why AA works....it's so much more than getting beyond the compulsion to drink!
I truly hope you go for it Sean....it's so worth it!!!
I feel like I got my "pro status" after my divorce too. I went from alcoholic binge drinking to just drinking all the time. As quickly as it happened, I didn't notice it at the time either. DUI's, trouble at work, decreased income, alienating long-term friends, all that stuff. Worst of all.....it was the shame that I walked around with. I just couldn't get the crap OFF me, yanno?
AA.....yeahhhh, riiiiiiight..... like "not drinking" will do anything. That was my mantra...
Well, I'm here to tell you there IS hope.....and substantially more than that in AA. How about feeling plugged back into life? Not feeling like a failure & not acting like one anymore. How about renewed relationships with children and relatives not to mention renewed respect in the office place.
"All this just from 'not drinking'?" Well..... we don't drink, that's part of the game but the real deal is learning how to live again. That's why AA works....it's so much more than getting beyond the compulsion to drink!
I truly hope you go for it Sean....it's so worth it!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
AT the point of giving up? Well, as odd as it may sound, that is probably a good thing. That means you have hit the point where continuing to drink/use is worse than stopping. so, now you stop. Get over the group thing -- I have never been much a group person. But AA h as saved me. And although i don't like all meetings, i found one i love. And i go regularly. And it helps. a lot.
BUT, AA alone cannot get you or keep you sober. you have to be done. and you have to do the work. But, if you are ready for that, it will help you. It isn't just the program, it is being around those who truly understand. No judgment, just there.
Good luck! Keep reaching out. . .there is a way out and you can get there.
BUT, AA alone cannot get you or keep you sober. you have to be done. and you have to do the work. But, if you are ready for that, it will help you. It isn't just the program, it is being around those who truly understand. No judgment, just there.
Good luck! Keep reaching out. . .there is a way out and you can get there.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Langley, BC
Posts: 1,007
Glad you're here Sean! I believe there are quite a few of us searching for that "light at the end of the tunnel".......I believe it's there so we need to keep fighting to reach it.
keep posting, sending good thoughts your way for a better day!
keep posting, sending good thoughts your way for a better day!
EntertheSticks
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 139
Hey man. . I would almost suggest (if you can afford it) to try and see a personal psychologist (Psychologists do not prescribe medication and can be quite a bit cheaper that psychiatrists).
I was at the low of lows about 3 years ago (tried to kill myself twice, 4-5 day coke binges, etc) and I will tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. i met with a guy at my university and he was instrumental in me at least starting to see the error of my ways. He also talked to me about why I did what I did, and it felt SO GOOD to tell someone everything that wasn't judging me, but rather trying to figure out how to use what I said to help me. Please stay on this board because I will tell you from my short experience on here that people REALLY DO CARE. Whether we know you or not we have all been in various situations but the common denominator is that drinking has done terrible damage to all of our lives.
Before I came on here/aa I always thought the phrases like "take it 1 day at a time" etc were cliche'. BUT then i realized that when I tried to make an honest recovery, ONE day at a time is the only way to do it because that is all you can control. So start with today, and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. You don't need to occupy yourself with the long term picture because that can seem quite overwhelming. Just imagine how great it will feel to wake up TOMORROW and know you did nothing the previous evening to be ashamed of, or put your career in jeopardy. And when you do get that urge to pick that bottle up (or whatever your drink of choice is) just keep in mind how good it felt to wake up hangover/humility free.
I was at the low of lows about 3 years ago (tried to kill myself twice, 4-5 day coke binges, etc) and I will tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. i met with a guy at my university and he was instrumental in me at least starting to see the error of my ways. He also talked to me about why I did what I did, and it felt SO GOOD to tell someone everything that wasn't judging me, but rather trying to figure out how to use what I said to help me. Please stay on this board because I will tell you from my short experience on here that people REALLY DO CARE. Whether we know you or not we have all been in various situations but the common denominator is that drinking has done terrible damage to all of our lives.
Before I came on here/aa I always thought the phrases like "take it 1 day at a time" etc were cliche'. BUT then i realized that when I tried to make an honest recovery, ONE day at a time is the only way to do it because that is all you can control. So start with today, and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. You don't need to occupy yourself with the long term picture because that can seem quite overwhelming. Just imagine how great it will feel to wake up TOMORROW and know you did nothing the previous evening to be ashamed of, or put your career in jeopardy. And when you do get that urge to pick that bottle up (or whatever your drink of choice is) just keep in mind how good it felt to wake up hangover/humility free.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome, Sean - You've come to the right place and I'm glad you posted. One thing for sure - we can't do this on our own. Do you have anyone who can go with you to a meeting or just for general support? I hope your outpatient treatment really helps (and you can come here any time night and day when the cravings hit).
Keep posting and reading - you'll see that there are a lot of people here who didn't know if they could get sober and are now living much better lives.
Keep posting and reading - you'll see that there are a lot of people here who didn't know if they could get sober and are now living much better lives.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
