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Trying to give a damn.

Old 09-20-2010, 06:28 PM
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Trying to give a damn.

So where do I begin? Well for starters, this is my first post here. I stumbled upon this site (pun intended) a few years back searching for stories I could relate to (which I found) and also for some inspiration to get my life together. A little history on my substance abuse: I started drinking when I was 18 years old, started smoking weed when I was 19, pills became a big part of my life once I reached the age of 21. This is also the age I discovered heroin which I eventually became addicted to but not until 3 years later but that's not important...Heroin is a loud word and yes it affected my life in a negative way but no more than alcohol or the pills. I know I can use any substance to destroy my life, Im an addict, doesnt matter what I touch, it always ends up consuming me sooner or later. I feel that this attempt to get sober/clean is the most sincere attempt Ive ever made. Im trying to let go of my nhilistic thought patterns and unrealistic expectations. Im somewhat of a perfectionist which I believe is a huge contributor to my use as well. The main motivation factor for me this time is happiness. Also I am a deeply sensitive person and when i cannot express myself creativity through music I get severly depressed. Writersblock is rock bottom for this 25 year old. I just cant deal with the anxiety/depression that cripples me when I dont take care of myself anymore. Ive had numerous near death experience which never really phased or scared me until now. When i was 20 I overdosed on methadone/xanax/alcohol and ended up aspirating and barely survived. Just this year I have overdosed once on heroin, once from a combination of xanax/fentayl and just recently from oxycodone/xanax...I now have a little over a month away from opiates and benzodiazepines and two weeks away from alcohol. So basically I have just over two weeks clean. I eventually want to go back to NA meetings, and I know the sooner the better. Anyway thanks for letting me get this off my head, I look forward to using the hope I find here as a building block to getting my life back on track.
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Old 09-20-2010, 06:38 PM
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Welcome!

I'm glad you decided to post and seek support here.

Congratulations on your 2 weeks clean!
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Old 09-20-2010, 06:43 PM
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Hugs going out to you LI (that's where my roots are). Thanks for sharing.
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Old 09-20-2010, 06:49 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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I'm glad you will be getting back to NA quickly
and hope you will begin fresh with Step work.....

Welcome ....
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Old 09-20-2010, 07:24 PM
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Hi longislandsk8r

Welcome to SR. Congratultions on yr clean time

There's a lot of support here, and in our substance abuse and alcoholism forums as well.

I hope you hit a meeting and start getting some numbers and maybe a sponsor ASAP.
I don't think it hurts to have all the support we can get.

D
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Old 09-20-2010, 07:31 PM
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Welcome to the SR family! I'm glad you joined us. Lots of support and useful information here. Read and post - we're glad you're here.
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Old 09-20-2010, 10:59 PM
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oak
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Welcome to SR!
I hope you like it here.
keep posting!
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