will his sex drive ever come back?
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will his sex drive ever come back?
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patty10
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 3 I'm new on here, but stumbled across this forum while I was searching for answers I guess you could say. Long story short, my husband has been clean from opiates for almost a year and a half and alcohol for 9 months. It was a long couple of years but I stood by him as much as I could with two children to think about and their well being. He's doing well as far as staying clean and sober. My issue is this...will he ever get his sex drive back? We have had no contact in this way in almost three years and I believe it is killing our marriage and keeping us from being more than just good friends. He has no desire at all and I expected that from the opiate addiction but he's been off of the drugs for well over a year and nothing has changed. I'm having a hard time finding anything that suports that this as "normal". Any words of wisdom?
patty10
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 3 I'm new on here, but stumbled across this forum while I was searching for answers I guess you could say. Long story short, my husband has been clean from opiates for almost a year and a half and alcohol for 9 months. It was a long couple of years but I stood by him as much as I could with two children to think about and their well being. He's doing well as far as staying clean and sober. My issue is this...will he ever get his sex drive back? We have had no contact in this way in almost three years and I believe it is killing our marriage and keeping us from being more than just good friends. He has no desire at all and I expected that from the opiate addiction but he's been off of the drugs for well over a year and nothing has changed. I'm having a hard time finding anything that suports that this as "normal". Any words of wisdom?
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Chantilly, VA
Posts: 216
Originally Posted by BoutDamnTime 
Send him to the doctor. It is possible that he has real low hormone levels, and that's unhealthy for a variety of reasons.
I recently had a full physical being 51 yrs. old. Found my testosterone was 155 when it _Should_ be over 600 for my age!! Have him get a _full_ physical and specifically ask for thyroid and testosterone tests!! This affects over 30% of men and most do not know they have this condition and the test is not one that is done unless asked for!
Good luck!
..Mike
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: England
Posts: 137
Hi Patty,
Men and the way they think about sex are a lot different from the ways than we women do i believe. He may feel he let you down, he may feel not worthy of you, he may feel self loathing. I am not an expert on any of this only can say what i have read about.
A therapist would be a good move, but in the meantime you could try sleeping in the same bed with no pressure for sex, and just agree to cuddle for the close security and contact of that. That in itself is a very powerful feeling. Take away any pressure to have sex and just get used to each other again.
Talk to him, re-assure him that all this does not have to lead to sex, take a bath together just for the closeness. Flick water and have fun. It may relax him and then you never know where it may lead.
Good luck hun, and well done to your hubby for kicking his habit and kudos to you for standing by him, I hope it will all work out.
Suzie xxx
Men and the way they think about sex are a lot different from the ways than we women do i believe. He may feel he let you down, he may feel not worthy of you, he may feel self loathing. I am not an expert on any of this only can say what i have read about.
A therapist would be a good move, but in the meantime you could try sleeping in the same bed with no pressure for sex, and just agree to cuddle for the close security and contact of that. That in itself is a very powerful feeling. Take away any pressure to have sex and just get used to each other again.
Talk to him, re-assure him that all this does not have to lead to sex, take a bath together just for the closeness. Flick water and have fun. It may relax him and then you never know where it may lead.
Good luck hun, and well done to your hubby for kicking his habit and kudos to you for standing by him, I hope it will all work out.
Suzie xxx
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