BurningChrome

That was just SO good, and brought back _Such_ good memories or thoughts of what might have been that made you just SO happy, and the kicker, the dream is so, SO real, in your first waking minutes, you just KNOW what you dreamed is reality, there is literally NO doubt, and you are SO light and on top of the world, and then within half an hour, you realize it was.... just a dream. After that, the depression that settles over you is literally bone crushing. I had one of those last night and it was all I could do not to roll into a ball in a cornor somewhere and go catatonic. The weight of the depression from this morning is still like 1,000 lbs. on my shoulders this evening. The thought of falling back and just getting blasted must have crossed my mind 100 times today. I have _Never_ had a dream so REAL that made me feel so GOOD, and then to have it snatched away. It was a real, real bad day... Didn't do anything stupid, didn't use. Going to bed now to try to undo the dream I had last night. I feel terrible. Wish me luck :-(

..Mike

Dee74

Not sure I've ever had that happen Mike but I'm sorry you struggled today.
You got through it tho and that's the really important thing I think

D

LaFemme

I am wishing you a peaceful and healing nights sleep...

I only have nightmares so ive never had a dream like the one you described.

BurningChrome

4:00a.m. rise and shine, I think that was my minds way of keeping it from happening again last night :-)

Fandy

yes, i've had a couple of those dreams in my life....usually when i felt especially low....however when i woke up i relished being able to remember something that made me "happy".

reality is tough and there are many times i wake up at 3-4 am and think i could just down some booze and go back to sleep...(this is my biggest trigger time)....however sober Fandy now has some logical thought process so i roll over or get up for a few and try to remember how crappy i would feel if i did that.

if you get some more physical exercise you may start sleeping better....i have had chronic insomnia for YEARS, one of my happiest perks of not drinking is getting a solid night's sleep on regular basis....i hasve slept better the last 5 months than i have in YEARS....and i am convinced it has made a difference in my depression and recovery too.

i used to doze off and wake up about 45 mins after in the dpeth of a terrible nightmare, the kind where my heart would pound and i felt *terrified*...no sense at all...i'm convinced that my poor little brain was so sleep deprived and self-medicating with booze to push back my problems...that when i finally dozed off my brain just began to process any sleep in a weird way.

sorry for the longwinded answer.

BurningChrome

Thanks Fandy! Oh I get the exercise! For weeks now, every weekday and most Saturdays, I have been doing 40 minutes (8-10 miles) on a good exercise bike, then unless the weather is terrible, lace up my walking shoes and do 30-45 minutes at a very fast pace (pulse > 120). So, 4-6 days a week, I get a solid 70-80 minutes of aerobic exercise. Once I feel well enough, I will work in some light weights twice a week... I know it is helping because I know I did my body tremdous damage during my years of drinking, despite being an avid lifetime exerciser. All the exercise in the world cannot make up for a fifth a day!!

I am up most days between 2:00 and 5:00, go to bed around 11:00. What brought be to write this thread was this singular dream I had that just crushed me the next morning, never had one like that before...

..Mike

Fandy

well you get better exercise than i do....maybe try to wind down at night starting an hour before bedtime.

milwaukeeguy85

I have had the EXACT type of dream you are talking about. It really does make reality feel like a downer, but just remember that your reality is a lot better without using. Maybe one day that dream you had will become a reality