GingerTea

Hi everyone

I've been lurking here for a while and I've just gotten to a place where I feel brave enough to post. I'm a 28 year old female and I've come to a place where I feel like I can't possibly wake up another day hungover and ashamed. I have this great facade of a good life but inside I'm full of guilt and remorse. I've been drinking almost everyday for the last 2 or 3 years.

The ironic thing is that I am actually scared to be sober! I don't even know where to begin, really. I'm just convinced that I HAVE to stop living like this.

Thanks for being here.

PrairieFire

Welcome, Ginger. I know that "scared to be sober" feeling. I hate to sound new-agey, but for me has to do with coming to terms with my feelings of worthiness. It can be scary to acknowledge your own self worth.

Ainslie

Hey, welcome

I got sober at 27, I was scared too! Scared of success, scared of failure, scared of everything. However I wanted control over my life more than anything so quitting was the only option. It was hard going from drinking every day to being stone cold sober and dealing with my real self 24/7, but the rewards are far greater than any perceived hinderance sobriety causes me.

Check out the different recovery programs, books, knowledge is power

Good Luck

GingerTea

Thanks for the replys

I guess one of my biggest worries is what the heck am I going to do all night? Sounds silly but really I have no idea what to do.

TexasNative

Give it a shot. Maybe see your doctor and explain that you are going to stop drinking, there are meds that help with any possible withdrawal effects. After you get a few sober days and see how you feel you might just be scared to be drinking all the time again!!! Being a slave to alcohol and the drudgery that goes along with it as a dreadful thing, and it gets worse, fast.

TexasNative

You can do the things you did before you wasted the night drinking. You will feel free again, and when you wake up with a clear conscience and clear thinking instead of a hangover it's like being a new person.

Ainslie

Well I can only speak from my own experience - I caught up on a lot of movies and tv series on dvd that id missed out on due to always being out drinking, spent a lot of time online, went for long walks, read a lot about addiction and alcohol abuse, anything to distract myself from drinking....I had a few supportive people I could call when I was really down and that helped immensely.

Oh yea - I was medicated too...

eremc08

Welcome! I know exactly how you feel. I too am scared to stay sober. I went 22 days, slipped because I thought I could handle it and it just made me feel like I failed. Hence, the scared feeling.. scared to never touch a drink again, scared to deal with life sober, scared to unknown things and feelings coming my way and not having a drink to mask them, scared to fail. Just scared of life without alcohol. I'm not sure, but I think I'll always be scared even when I succeed at this.

The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that life will be much happier, healthier, and all around better if I STAY sober. You're not alone. I'm struggling right now as we speak. I just want 1 more day... but I know it'll just make 1 more day turn into 1 more day after tomorrow, etc. It won't stop. Insanity right? Alcoholic life sucks. Cycle after cycle with worrying, and depression, feeling ashamed day after day. It doesn't have to be this way. BUT the only way to stop it is to stop drinking all together.

Hard.. it is. But you're worth this effort, as we all are. Your mind is stronger than your urges and cravings. Beat it! You CAN DO IT! We're all here for you! You are so not alone.

Congrats on your first step!

PrairieFire

For me sobriety takes a lot of planning. I have to make sure I have food in the house, a big stack of books or plans to be out for the evening. I sometimes make a list that I carry with me of things I can do after work. Sounds lame, but otherwise I've been known to panic. I'm recently sober, and hope the urgency of these diversion tactics lessen over time.

eremc08

I had no idea what to do at night either at first. I felt like I wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there until everyone and the liquor disappeared from my vision. I couldn't talk to anyone, or even wanted to. I would snack some.. that helped a lot. I did gain but it's better to gain self worth and a couple lbs, then disrespect for myself and a hangover the next day.

I also got some chocholate. The sugar cravings were bad! I needed to keep myself busy. I know I can do it again, it's just hard right now. But we both can do this!!

Ghostly

Welcome Ginger! Your concerns are very common. i too wondered what I would do if I quit drinking. I drank pretty much every night, therefore so many routines and things I did were when I was drunk.

At first it was odd. Just going outside at night and plying with the dogs. Playing catch in the back yard. Watching tv. Doing those things sober felt weird at first. soon I got used to it. Soon I enjoyed doing them sober. Now...I don't ever want to go back to those days.

You can do this Ginger. It is up to you. Stick around and keep us posted.

least

I was afraid to live sober too. The thought of being in contact with my feelings scared me to death. After all, I was drinking so I wouldn't feel anything.

Getting (and staying) sober didn't make my life easier, but it sure made it simpler. And I love waking up feeling good instead of waking up sick as a dog and hating myself. The guilt was eating me alive. I'm glad I'm sober and don't regret it for a second.

welcome to SR!

leo21

You can do it GingerTea. The way it worked for me was reading everything on the sticky posts about what to expect, etc. I educated myself in various ways to be prepared. I went to a non AA meeting (works for me) and the next day just stopped. It hasn't been long for me. The first few days were unpleasant and you need to know that time seems to sloooooow down big time!!

It still feels that way for me after a couple weeks but i'm finding productive things to fill the gaps and move the day along. Just play that first temptation to drink through in your mind before you touch anything - you will find the end result will be the same now as it was in your past.

CarolD

Welcome to the posting side of SR.....

You might be wise to check with your doctor on how
best to come off the alcohol. De toxing is a medical
matter....and be both safe and sober.

Keep posting...many of us are now nondrinkers
This can happen for you to with action...

GingerTea

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the welcome and advice.

I'm planning on having my husband go and get me some nice bedtime tea (don't really trust myself around the store at this point) and watching something or other on netflix instant watch tonight.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Ginger Tea
Fear of being sober kept me drinking for years - it's not a good road to go down.

You'll find a lot of support and encouragement here

D

Supercrew

I now do basically what I did when I was drunk, get on the computer, watch TV, watch movies, hangout with friends and family, go on walks.

And I also seem to get to bed earlier and feel better in the morning.

On a side note when I was contemplating quitting that was one of my worries as well, but I realize now it was just an excuse to continue drinking.

artsoul

Welcome GingerTea! I had the same fear (fear that I couldn't get sober, fear that I could). I worried about all the social situations, the future times I'd want to drink, what was I going to do with my boredom and anxiety, etc etc......

What helped was to stop thinking about what I was going to do/feel tomorrow or next week, and get down to what was happening right NOW. In the present moment, I did find something I could do (including hanging out here and reading everyone's posts). Each day got a little easier and now after 4 months, sobriety feels normal. If you knew that all you had to do was put in a few weeks or months of work and you could be comfortable in a whole new life, it would be worth it, right? Those days are going to go by anyway, afterall.

I'm glad you've joined us. Hang in there!!

topspin

Ginger,
I think Artsoul is right on the money, with learning to live in the present. I spent years wallowing around worrying about and regretting the past ; and the rest of the time , just fearful of the future. You'll discover (and thankfully have time for) new interest or get deeper into the things you like , but "never had time for"

Hang in there, ...hang here at SR ! It's been a real blessing for me the last 160 something days.

zbear23

Welcome, Ginger. I strongly suspect that your fear is pretty universal among those attempting sobriety. I was literally terrified. Everything I did, from morning to night involved drinks and drugs....I couldn't imagine life without them. Fear of the future would be an understatement!

I think someone shared here a while ago a list of about 150 "things to do" that I found interesting and pretty comprehensive. Perhaps they will post that again?

I mainly went to lots of meetings and hung out with sober people. I remember a Friday night early in sobriety when my wife was going to be out of town for the weekend. I was pretty freaked out about being alone with my alcoholism. I shared my fear at the Friday night AA meeting, and afterward a fellow got my phone number and address, and said he'd pick me up the next morning for an early meeting. That guy spent the whole weekend with me....went to movies, to the beach, to meetings, meals....lots of conversation....all I had to do was reach out in AA.

Since then, of course, I've found living life sober to be totally rewarding. The absence of my alcoholic fears, anxieties, doubts, self hatred, etc. has made everything I do more vivid, more real and more enjoyable.

blessings
zenbear