powerlessness as an excuse to drink

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09-15-2010, 04:45 AM

# 41 (permalink)

Mark75

Member

Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 6,947

Quote:

Originally Posted by oak

I kept having the thought that if I am powerless over alcohol, I might as well just drink. Like that I cannot help myself so it's inevitable. This is so enticing to me. (Please tell me why this does not make sense.)

I can not tell you why this does not make sense, because.... it makes perfect sense, to me.... I was right there. "Enticing" you say.... Powerless, almost like being perfectly willing to go anywhere, do anything under the seductive power of a beautiful woman who wants me... hmmm, why that analogy... well, why not. It was a beautiful thing, that power of alcohol... at first.

My experience was that it was like that... "Aw shucks, I am powerless, it's not an easy life, I need to fill this void with me... take me away, another day on gossamer wings kind lady".... I'd think, once again, day after day....

It started to take me away from my wife and family and eventually took me to places where there were severe consequences.

Power, get some.

Mark

09-15-2010, 05:01 AM

# 42 (permalink)

kiki5711

Member

Join Date: Apr 2010

Posts: 1,288

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rusty Zipper

oh,

and when the Band of Gypsys in the head (committee members) used to bother me,

i schoosh them off to go bother someone else!

09-15-2010, 05:05 AM

# 43 (permalink)

kiki5711

Member

Join Date: Apr 2010

Posts: 1,288

Quote:

Originally Posted by oak

Wow! Thank you everyone! I read each response and they are all very helpful. I'm sorry I cannot respond to each person individually. Everyone helped so much.

I feel much more stable with sobriety today. I have had very little desire to drink today. And I keep telling myself that drinking more will likely make stopping more difficult.

My mind just gets crazy and comes up with great justifications to drink. The obsession is almost worse than the drinking for me (although the drinking sucks too). I am excited that I did not drink yesterday.

I do hope I get more connected to AA or some other recovery program. I have gone to some AA meetings that I like a lot and many that I did not like. I think I will just focus now on the meetings that I like and stop exploring. I'm realizing that step 1 without the rest of the steps is depressing, etc.

I've been sick the last two weeks so I have not really enjoyed sobriety yet. I am looking forward to being well and sober soon!

Thanks everyone! You all are wonderful!

I didn't know how smart I was until I tried to outsmart my self. he he, he.......let's see who's smarter....me or me?

I had and still have so many angles and excuses and reasons why it's ok to think a certain way, and do certain things, only to realize that it's not ok to think that way and do certain things.

I know I sound ********.

09-15-2010, 05:08 AM

# 44 (permalink)

zbear23

Member

Join Date: Mar 2010

Posts: 385

Quote:

Originally Posted by SSIL75

I've heard it explained in a way that makes sense to me.

I am powerless over alcohol AFTER I take that first drink. That first drink is what renders me powerless.

I have all the power in the world to NOT pick up the first drink.

For me to believe I have the power to not pick up the first drink contradicts my understanding of alcoholism, which (beyond the physical allergy) is an obsession of the mind. Literally...a form of insanity over which I am powerless. My crazy thinking opens the door to believing I can have just one....and I can't THINK my way out of crazy thinking. I had to act my way out of it by becoming engaged in a process by which I stopped turning my life and my will over to a power that sought to destroy me, and found a higher power that sustained me; transferred from the power of fear to the power of love. As long as I maintain my spiritual fitness, by way of my actions, I have a defense against the first drink.

I had accumulated a few years of sobriety at one point, and became complacent...slacked off on my spiritual disciplines. Relapsed. Learned my lesson. Now I do those things that keep me spiritually fit whether or not I think I need them, whether or not I feel like it. This "practice" is what has been instrumental in "restoring me to sanity." Without that restoration, I was unable to overrule my insane thinking....and continued to think I could drink.

Remember....all it takes is ONE bad decision. I was sober nearly five years when the insanity took control once again. I "thought" I was past it.

blessings
zenbear

09-15-2010, 05:16 AM

# 45 (permalink)

zbear23

Member

Join Date: Mar 2010

Posts: 385

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harry01854

And I have to add, I was also powerless over the first thought of having a drink. Once I had the thought that I wanted a drink, it was out the door I went. How many times though had I said to myself I'm going to stop just for one or two and ended up drunk. It wasn't the first drink that actually got me drunk, but because I took the first drink, I became powerless and couldn't stop.

Then there are a lot of good replies on what to do after you put the first drink down and not pick up anymore alcohol. Sure, it is easy to stop, maybe for a day, but the trick is how do I stay stopped, one day at a time.

I can find plenty of "poor" excuses to pick up a drink. I can also find some very good reason not to pick up a drink. The good out weighs the poor by far.

God be with you,

Harry

Harry, I use a tool that was used on me early on to help someone who wants to drink. I simply tell them to call me first, and if they can give me one good reason to drink....I'll join them.

I'm still sober.<G>

blessings
zbear

09-15-2010, 05:25 AM

# 46 (permalink)

zbear23

Member

Join Date: Mar 2010

Posts: 385

Quote:

Originally Posted by wpainterw

Been thinking this over some more and I know one thing for sure. Certain individuals simply cannot drink moderately. In that sense they are powerless over alcohol. They may be inclined to think they can be moderate drinkers but that first drink puts them on a slippery slope. There is a substantial likelihood of a second drink and with each drink the likelihood of another increases exponentially, the curve steepening very sharply. And with increasing age the exponential increase steepens dramatically until eventually it is only a matter of a week or days before the person is in the hospital.
What about that first drink. Once I take that first drink is it impossible to resist another? To this I give the same answer I gave before. If this were so, then if a person in the program made a "slip" and took that first drink there would be no point urging that person not to take another. On the contrary, he should try to quit then and there. Pick up his car keys and head for home with a resolve that this will not happen a second time and giving some thought to what led him to pick up in the first place.
A person is not, then, completely powerless. There is a lot of room for willpower. But that doesn't mean he or she should try to do the program alone, unless he is willing to increase the risk of failure.

W.

I think that AA literature explains the "proper" use of willpower. I cannot simply decide to stop and stay stopped....the obsession in my mind will always return to thwart my self will. What I can, and have done, is become willing to use the tools set before me by those who have succeeded in remaining sober. I use my willpower to do the things AA explicitly directs me to do...whether or not I feel like it, whether or not my own thinking disagrees. I pray consistently for willingness....the willingness to practice, practice, practice. I regard my recovery as a spiritual skill set, and the more and longer I practice it, the better I get at it.

I could no more will myself into recovery than I could will myself into being a concert pianist. But I could take lessons and practice my a$$ off. And believe me...I hated practicing the piano. I just wanted to be able to play it without putting in the effort to learn. Didn't work. Didn't work with recovery, either.

blessings
zenbear