BungeJW

This is a tough question.

I have had a total of 12 bad drinking days over the past 14 months. Sober for solid 11 months, relapse, sober for a month, relapse, now I'm at a month again today.

I drove drunk with my kids in the car once a year and a half ago and again once during my relapse 2 months ago.

Shameful and no excuses.

However, now whenever I have an argument with my wife about the kids or something I have a problem with her about. Guess what comes up?

"You have no leg to stand on, you drove drunk with the kids in the car."

Is that 'go to' ammunition there for the rest of my life?

I think it could be the end of any love and forgiveness in my marriage.

Any thoughts?

Thanks

Bunge

1 Corinthians 13:5 [Love] is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

LaFemme

Hey! I'm not married so might not be the right person to answer...but...I think some sort of marriage counseling might be in order. Has your wife gone to alanon at all?

Personally, I think that her using that to win awrgiements probably speaks to a larger or hidden problem.

mama36

Hey Bunge...let's face it, women bring up the past in arguments more than men do. From what I can see, you have some issues with the bottle and maybe your wife saying this is her way of just bringing up the fact that she thinks you should seek help with your problem. She should not be bringing it up with every argument but this should not be the end of any love and forgiveness if you marriage is strong. Forgiveness is the key to happiness in any relationship. We are all imperfect and we all make mistakes in our relationships but we have to forgive.

At the same time as saying that I also know it is hard, it is a very hard thing for me to do in the state that I am in.