Class of September 2010
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 318
To my Class of September, I posted a blog cause I needed to vent some of my guilt and remorse...feels as though a weight has been lifted. Now...I go and open the Big Book for the first time and see what I can find out about myself...yikes.
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
I read your blog, Mama36. I use blogs a lot to help myself "get things out there" and work on stuff. It does help, doesn't it?
I didn't like who I was when I was drunk, either. I was kind of a wild, loopy (sometimes mean) drunk, which is really ironic since I'm a pretty nice, warm person. Alcohol really distorts our personalities. I'm happy to leave that "person" behind.
I didn't like who I was when I was drunk, either. I was kind of a wild, loopy (sometimes mean) drunk, which is really ironic since I'm a pretty nice, warm person. Alcohol really distorts our personalities. I'm happy to leave that "person" behind.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 318
I hear you totally Jane...I had an evaluation at work the other day and don't ask me how but it was tops, the best one I have had in 6.5 years at my job...my boss said I am positive and fun and bring a good image upon the company. OMG when I told dh that we both laughed because in the midst of my disorganized house and mind, I have not been positive or fun...I have been a down right b'tch and nothing more. I know for certain that even my entire neighborhood knows that I am a drunk because anytime any one of the neighbors has come to my door in the evening or on the weeknend I have been blitzed and then asked dh the next day if he "thinks they noticed"...lol.
That blog is only a small part of my experience and did not include a lot of the horrendous behavior that I had shaped into my "normal" drinking life.
That blog is only a small part of my experience and did not include a lot of the horrendous behavior that I had shaped into my "normal" drinking life.
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Yep, I can relate for sure. When I was at my worst I was drunk at home more nights than not and tried to "keep it from the neighbors." I remember tripping flat on my ass one night bringing out the trash. One of my neighbors saw me and said, "Are you okay?" I ran away like a thief in the night so she wouldn't see me.
I sooooo do NOT miss those days!!!
I sooooo do NOT miss those days!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Chantilly, VA
Posts: 216
Day 7 for me. I was doing great until April when I got laid off and my wife broke her hip 4 days later. I slipped (and slipped, and slipped, etc.). Decided to have my 1st physical exam in 15 yrs. (just turned 51). Told the doc to test _Everything_. He calls back and says, everything is great except your testostorone level for your age is about 15% of what it should be and that can (and probably is) causing _All_ sorts of problems, i.e. wild mood swings, sleeping disorders, fat gain, muscle loss, etc... I said yep, been feeling all those over the past 6-12 months... Heck, if I got a $1,000 a night hooker, I'd probably get $25 of value out of the deal ;-) So I am seeing an endocrinologist this week who will help me get things back on balance and I think that will make a world of difference.... I know it surely was not helping things! But I was several months sober when the job went south and my wife injured myself and once again, I let the stress get to me and slid back down that hole. Trudging up again.... It may take me awhile but damned if I am going to stay down!!! Here I go again!!!! I'm in!
...Mike
...Mike
whew!! I guess I'm still in the class - hello day #13!!! Boredom and odd thoughts of thinking to myself i've made it and can handle one hit me for some reason.
No worries so far cause i've played it thru and know how things will end. Same mess and issues for Monday whether I drink or not so why not handle Monday sober? I'm suprised i guess that i'm getting these types of cravings today. Anywho, double digits are cool!
No worries so far cause i've played it thru and know how things will end. Same mess and issues for Monday whether I drink or not so why not handle Monday sober? I'm suprised i guess that i'm getting these types of cravings today. Anywho, double digits are cool!
hi everybody can i join in?
day 2 again here for me.ive been a binge drinker since about 13.
2 years ago i went to a few aa meetings and stopped drinking i did fine for awhile but slowly my brain convinced me i didnt have a problem and i began again.
its been bubbling away for awhile now and i just refused to admit it but i knew deep down im an alcoholic and im in serious trouble.
breaking point came saturday night when we went to a birthday party and i drank so much i completely blacked out and got in to a physical and very violent fight with my boyfriend.
that has never happened before and he has had to calm me down many times in five years but he couldnt handle this time. i completely shocked myself and am disgusted and on sunday morning i admitted everything to him and went to an aa meeting that night.
im happy in away that it happened and it felt great to tell my bf everything even tho he had a feeling i was out of control already.
sorry for rambling im not very articulate and find it had to get everything out in a coherent way.
day 2 again here for me.ive been a binge drinker since about 13.
2 years ago i went to a few aa meetings and stopped drinking i did fine for awhile but slowly my brain convinced me i didnt have a problem and i began again.
its been bubbling away for awhile now and i just refused to admit it but i knew deep down im an alcoholic and im in serious trouble.
breaking point came saturday night when we went to a birthday party and i drank so much i completely blacked out and got in to a physical and very violent fight with my boyfriend.
that has never happened before and he has had to calm me down many times in five years but he couldnt handle this time. i completely shocked myself and am disgusted and on sunday morning i admitted everything to him and went to an aa meeting that night.
im happy in away that it happened and it felt great to tell my bf everything even tho he had a feeling i was out of control already.
sorry for rambling im not very articulate and find it had to get everything out in a coherent way.
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