DrivingVacation

My GF is having friends in town this weekend. The first I heard about it was when I came home to about $200 worth of liquor on the counter. Now, I don't care if she drinks because she's not the one with a problem. What does **** me off is that I have to deal with a houseful of drunken people this weekend. If I had some time under my belt like in the past it really wouldn't phase me as much... but being that I don't...I'm already beginning to panic.

least

For me, it might just solidify my resolve to stay sober by seeing how stupid some people get under the influence. Can you leave the house for periods of time this weekend? Do you have any sober friends to call if you're feeling tempted? For me it would just make me want to stay sober seeing drunken people around, but it would be irritating, to say the least, due to the 'mess' that drunks usually make.

Can you plan some time for yourself? I hope you can get thru this without caving in to the demon. And you'll feel so good each morning while they're feeling sick as hell.

Anna

I couldn't be around alcohol at all when I was in early recovery. It stressed me way too much.

Is there any chance you can go elsewhere and stay away from the party?

DrivingVacation

They're staying here till Sunday.

Murray4x5

Can you come up with a plausible escape plan? Something that will get you the heck out of there if things start getting squirrelly?

Does your girlfriend know you've quit?

Murray

DrivingVacation

Yes she knows.

Murray4x5

Hmmm.......

Murray

Dee74

I'm sorry DV...that's rough.
I know other folks here who live with drinkers tho, so it can be done...it needn't be a dealbreaker on the whole sobriety thing.

If you've made your views plain and your gf won't budge, obviously that's something you two need to sort out...

for now, I advise you to get out as much as you can this weekend....hit some meetings maybe?

D

lildawg

If you possibly can, leave the house for the weekend. Rent a hotel room and watch movies, go to the zoo, visit the museum, etc. Of course, I know all this takes money and that you may not have it.

If the above is impossible, perhaps you could visit some non-drinking friends or family for the weekend? If you're comfortable explaining the situation, I'm sure they'd understand.

If all else fails, and you're stuck there, try staying sober ten minutes at a time. Tell yourself, "I can get through ten minutes without a drink." At the end of ten minutes, start over. In early sobriety, I used to be so bored that I'd count incidents. You know, if someone had an annoying tic or expression they used often, I'd count how many times they did it per hour. Always, I'd be thinking, "I will NOT let this situation beat me, no matter how unpleasant it is."

You have my deepest sympathy, dude. One thing, though. You might actually have fun. Sometimes it's amusing to watch drunks when you know you won't be hung over the next morning . . . and they will!

Murray4x5

I'd be tempted to suggest (once they're ripped) to "go for a little hike" on Saturday morning, then wake them all up at 6:00 am and take them on a gnarly, tortuous, cross country dry heave inducing bush-wack

Murray

lildawg

Well, my thoughts for Saturday and Sunday morning were not too far from this. I figured DV could set his alarm for 6 a.m. and let go off for 10 minutes before he gets up. Then, cook something grody, gooey, and stinky for breakfast and eat it with smacking relish. Then, watch something gross on TV like that Man vs. Wild show where he's eating live critters and bathing in his own urine.

But that's not nice. These days, I try to be nice so people will be nice to me.

Impurrfect

((((DV)))) - I do hope you can find away to do something for YOU this weekend, rather than watch everyone in your house get "ripped". FWIW, I really don't like being around drunks, any more. I have a job in a fast-food restaurant, and deal with the "drunk and disorderly" late at night. It actually makes me MORE focused on my recovery, but I doubt I'd have been able to be around anyone smoking crack (my doc) in early recovery.

Do what you have to do, sweetie. If that means going somewhere else, so be it. YOU are worth it!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

oak

I would have such a hard time with alcohol in the house.

Can you talk to her about how hard this is for you? Either so she can change her plans for this weekend or at least not make similar plans for the near future.

I agree with people who suggest leaving this weekend (hotel, friends, meetings, anything).

Know this would be difficult for most of us in early sobriety. I used to have lots of time sober and was rarely tempted around alcohol. But now in early sobriety again, it would be so risky.

LaFemme

Imo, its one thing to live with a person who still drinks moderately, its another thin to live with someone who plans a big old booze fest during your early recovery.

If you can't escape the whole weekend...maybe plan on catching up on new movies...anything to get out of the house.

Regardless, I really think you and the Giffin need a chat at some point.

loveon2legs

I feel for ya...and sorry to hear u are up against this...I couldn't be around booze for the first few months, especially in the house...You may want to have a serious talk with girlfriend....

Kmber2010

DV....I agree that you should spend as much time away as possible this weekend. I think this highly unhealthy in early sobriety and the fact your GF is not on board with being supportive with your sobriety really should cause you to evaluate this type of relationship. I say this based on this post and what you have shared in the past.

This will be a challenge my friend and one that you will successfully overcome sober! I too faced plenty of challenges (as I refer to them) in early sobriety and even one trip that turned out to be a drinking tour! I didn't know when I signed up for this tour but when I found myself sitting in a wine shop with free samples being shoved in my face.....I was frustrated (naturally tempted as well) and I walked out. Thats right I walked out because I would damned to give up my sobriety no matter what.

I suggest you avoid as much of this situation as possible and if it seems to much then put on your shoes, coat and leave. Just leave. Get what I am saying? You will come out of this stronger with a deeper commitment to recovery. This is on you and you know that you can pop over to the computer and post here for support. Another option is to go to a meeting. Use the tools my friend.....the support is there but it is on you to use them.

After this weekend....as I have suggested for some time.....You should really reevaluate this relationship and if it something you need in your sobriety. You deserve better.

Huggs and keep us updated. I know you can do this DV and we are here for you!!

endzoner

if she can affort 200$ for booze , then suggest her friends pay for a hotel and they party there heart out there ! start plannnin now things to do , reasons to get out .. be a walk with the dog , a movie , what ever ... just not to the booze store or bar ...

littlefish

A good techinique might also be to invite sober buddies to come to the event. With other non-drinkers in the house, you will find a lot of support. I've used this method with a lot of success: either invite sober buddies to a party, or, go to a party with sober buddies.

ItWillBeWorthIt

Good Morning DV:

You are in a tough situation... I would really talk to your GF about taking the party elsewhere or canceling. Yeah, she probably won't want to cancel it, but you could talk to her.

Do you have non-drinking friends you could invite and hang with them for the majority of the weekend. I don't know if these are your GF friends are both of yours. If they are more so her friends, it will be easier to leave the house and do some things to get away from the party.

We had a party planned for the Sept. long weekend... it was planned prior to me quitting drinking and we did tell the people that it weren't having a "party", but if they wanted to come over awhile they could. And I did tell a few of the invited guests that I felt close enough to that I had quit drinking and didn't want drinks around at this time. It did work, but I understand every person, with a drinking problem is different in what they decide to do when they encounter a drinking get together.

I wish you the best this weekend -- stay strong and you will get though this somehow and just think how great it will be if everyone is hungover and you are feeling wonderful. IT WILL BE WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!

julez

This situation sucks for sure. I do agree with the others about going out and doing something for yourself. But when alls said and done, this is your HOME and you should feel safe there. I can't even think of any suggestions for you except to muster up all the willpower you have and not pick up that first drink.

I will say that for me, the temptation is way lessened when there are other people around. My cravings hit super hard when just me and my husband are hanging out outside, doing nothing really. I went to all those wedding related things and was fine.

I hope you can get through this ok. Just remember the other morning, 7am, bathroom floor, chills etc..... You don't want to do that again right? You have a ton of friends on here who are really pulling for you. Reach out to any one of us and we'll be here. xoxo