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Dealing with alcohol in the house

Old 09-10-2010, 06:58 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hey DV. . .

I read this last night, but was too tired to post after my class.

I am really sorry GF is doing this. It is one thing to be around someone drinking, it one thing for someone you live with to have their own stuff in the house. That is part of this world, and as you said, we are the ones witht the problem.

However, at this point in your sobriety, i believe this is more than you should need to face. this isn't just going out with friends and being at a bar, or a wedding or whatever. This isn't your GF having some wine at night. . .to me, it is affront to you, and an invasion of you home and an in your face act against your sobriety.

You are important, and you deserve to be sober. I want you to do whatever it takes this weekend. ..go to a hotel, go to a friends. . .hell, go out of town. And go to meetings. Even if you are not working the program at the moment, being around sober recovering alcoholics can only help you through.

I'm praying for you.

Stay strong and stay sober.

a
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Old 09-10-2010, 08:11 AM
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DV,

When you LOVE someone you don't think only of yourself and your happiness. You consider your partners feeling and needs along with your own. You DON'T put that person in harms way and you don't make that person suffer if you can help it.

When you LOVE someone and they have a Major problem, you work TOGETHER to find solutions for both people. After all it does benefit both parties to find peace and harmony.

When you Love someone, and you see they are trying their best to help themselves you support that person with all you have to give. You don't undermine their recovery for your own selfish whims. You give them up, put them on hold, make other arrangements , whatever you have to do out of Love and concern for the person your with.

Maybe I'm old fashioned but this is what LOVE means to me. I don't mean to preach or upset you. I want you to see things as others do and consider what the situation REALLY is.

What you do this weekend is up to YOU! No one but you DV can make that decision. I would like to see you stay sober and re-claim your life. Stand proud and be the man you want to be. Your a wonderful person that has so much to offer. Please Remember that this weekend. Take care of yourself. Your the only one who can! :ghug3
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Old 09-10-2010, 08:31 AM
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Originally Posted by opivotal View Post
DV,

When you LOVE someone you don't think only of yourself and your happiness. You consider your partners feeling and needs along with your own. You DON'T put that person in harms way and you don't make that person suffer if you can help it.

When you LOVE someone and they have a Major problem, you work TOGETHER to find solutions for both people. After all it does benefit both parties to find peace and harmony.

When you Love someone, and you see they are trying their best to help themselves you support that person with all you have to give. You don't undermine their recovery for your own selfish whims. You give them up, put them on hold, make other arrangements , whatever you have to do out of Love and concern for the person your with.

Maybe I'm old fashioned but this is what LOVE means to me. I don't mean to preach or upset you. I want you to see things as others do and consider what the situation REALLY is.

What you do this weekend is up to YOU! No one but you DV can make that decision. I would like to see you stay sober and re-claim your life. Stand proud and be the man you want to be. Your a wonderful person that has so much to offer. Please Remember that this weekend. Take care of yourself. Your the only one who can! :ghug3

Well said, op. My thoughts exactly. DV, you know we are here for you.

:ghug3
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Old 09-10-2010, 10:57 AM
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I completely agree with Opivotol.
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Old 09-10-2010, 11:13 AM
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I agree with OP too. when i read your post, it smells like your GF planned this without asking you or to possibly BAIT you into drinking....does she miss you drinking with her? even if she does not have a problem, she may not prefer you to have the willpower.

whatever, i think it wasn't a NICE loving gesture. it sounds selfish and that she seems to be pushing the booze or setting you up to be anti-social. i hope you have a good sober weekend and enjoy some pleasurable activities....A house full of partying drunks would annoy me even if I was still drinking....i hate to clean up after hosting.
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Old 09-10-2010, 03:46 PM
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Oh, and i saw this and thought it might cheer you up (notice how close the colors are!):






lol. I'm cheering for you!
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Old 09-10-2010, 04:03 PM
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Lots of good advice in this thread. Thank you all.
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Old 09-10-2010, 04:20 PM
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Quick little update: I also paid for this party unknowingly.
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Old 09-10-2010, 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by DrivingVacation View Post
Quick little update: I also paid for this party unknowingly.
That fing sucks, DV. Hard.
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Old 09-10-2010, 10:17 PM
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Thinking about you this weekend, DV..... Remember: this too shall pass!:ghug3
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Old 09-10-2010, 10:25 PM
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Deep cleansing breaths.

Thinking about you too...

Murray
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Old 09-10-2010, 10:25 PM
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Originally Posted by DrivingVacation View Post
Quick little update: I also paid for this party unknowingly.
Huggs and know this weekend too shall pass and you will come out stronger for it.

Keep updating.....we are here DV!
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Old 09-10-2010, 10:27 PM
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DV that's really rude of your girlfriend, especially to not discuss with you first. It would just light a fire in me to not drink! Good Luck this weekend. I think you'll make it!
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Old 09-11-2010, 02:23 AM
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Sending you lots of posiibe thoughts this weekend!
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Old 09-11-2010, 04:58 AM
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Well DV - you already know how I feel about this. I totally agree with Opi. Time to do some deep thinking.

Take care - here for you :ghug3
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Old 09-11-2010, 05:27 AM
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hey dv,
get through the weekend however you need to....
come monday it's time for a come to jesus meeting with the girlfriend.
this is a matter of respect....without respect and trust there can't be love.
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Old 09-11-2010, 06:31 AM
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just a thought .. if you paid for the booze shouldnt you be able to do with it what you like .. ? like pouring it all down the drain , takin your check book and cards what ever and putting them outta reach for her to do more . and tell them you dont drink there for you dont enable others to do the same , If they wish to drink then buy it them selfs , I know I dont buy anyone a drink .. Why would I .. I dont drink !
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Old 09-11-2010, 06:48 AM
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DV,

I don't know what to suggest to you about your relationship. I cannot fathom doing what she is doing for a partner who is struggling with early recovery.

I DO think you need to do whatever you need to do to be away from this crap this weekend. I agree with several of the post-ers here, that if she won't take the party elsewhere, you need to take YOU elsewhere. And you and your g/f need to have a long talk about this.

Do whatever it takes not to drink.
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Old 09-11-2010, 07:01 AM
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Originally Posted by DrivingVacation View Post
Quick little update: I also paid for this party unknowingly.


That makes me want you to get through this weekend even more.

Next week, perhaps you could make an appointment with a neutral third party (i.e., a counselor) to talk about your relationship with your girlfriend. I'm getting from other people's posts and from your posts that there's a lot more going on in this relationship than this one incident. Take it from me, bad relationships (both romantic and otherwise) can put a severe strain on staying sober.

I'm not going to say more. I don't really know you, and I've never seen firsthand the things that go on in your relationship. It sounds like something is going on here, though, and I think you need to get some perspective on it so you can know how to handle it.

You have my support on this trying weekend.
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Old 09-11-2010, 10:34 AM
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Hey DV,
Its mid day Saturday, and I just wanted to reach out and say hi, and that I hope you are making it through this situation ok. I was thinking, and regardless of what comes of your relationship after this weekend, so be it. Only you and S. can decide that. But what you have to focus on right now, is RIGHT NOW. I hope you are taking it minute by minute, and playing the tape til the end. Hang in there my friend.
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