Tempe

Day 6 is here. Survived day 5 by the skin of my teeth. Ate dinner last night and watched "Shutter Island." It was a complicated movie and had I been drinking, would have given up and shut it off because it took too much mental power to assimilate while drunk. Glad I could watch it sober because it was an excellent movie. Makes me think of all the wasted hours watching endless dvds and not even remembering them because of the resident cocktail or glass of wine. They don't call it WASTE-ed for nothing.

LexieCat

So when are you gonna go hit a meeting?

eremc08

Welcome! and You're definitely not alone here! We all have our stories.. I remember feeling so happy that I waited til 4pm, which was a whole hour after my mom started drinking. Made me feel like I was better than her... but who was I kidding right? By 5pm we were both drunk..

We're all here to help and encourage, this site is really great for support! Just keep coming here and posting!
Congrats on 1 week!

Tempe

I'm not. AA is not for me. I think I could still recite the steps, preamble, why it works, etc., verbatim and haven't been to a meeting since 2008. I am unable to work the Program, simple as that - and not from lack of trying as stated in my original post entry.

AA is a fantastic and miraculous Program for many, and I'm so very happy for anyone who has been successful. However, it's time for me to explore other avenues.

I live in a small town and some of the local AA members often complain about the "revolving door" and how distracting, energy zapping and time wasting it is for them to tolerate those who come through the door only to leave and eventually come back and then leave once again... You get the idea. I did not relish going to an AA meeting with good intentions only to be further shamed.

For me, prayer, journaling and reading and posting here has been very beneficial for me. I am getting ready to go to bed at the end of day 6. Days 5 and 6 have always been my hardest days to get through sober, and I have done it!

Thanks to all of the support and kindness I have received here.

Lenina

Tempe,

You might check out Rational Recovery. It's worked for me. I do use some of the AA philosophies in daily life as well.

Love,

Lenina

topspin

Tempe,
Congratulations on making it through day 6 !!

The folks at SR have inspired (and taught) me plenty the last 5 plus months.

Glad you're on this journey with us.

Stay Strong Monday, ......you can do this.

.

LexieCat

Sorry, I was just responding to your first post, which said: If anyone should be "shamed" it is AA members who take that kind of attitude toward someone who has been "in and out" and is coming back in.

I wish you successful sobriety, however you get there.

Tempe

Sorry about that, Lexie - those two sentences should have been split up with a new paragraph. I meant hoping this time it will be different and I won't fail like I always have in the past. It's been a tough week, and I wrote that early on.

Tempe

Sober Day 7 is winding to a close. I haven't had this many sober days in a row since April 2008. At that time I did it because I felt I HAD to. I am doing it now because I WANT to. Still, it is hard. Today was better than the weekend, though - I nearly caved a time or two. But I didn't!!!

It helps me tremendously to come here and check in. I am also very engrossed in reading the Alcoholism section threads. I've learned a lot. I no longer feel alone. Thank God.

artsoul

Congratulations on your week sober, Tempe! Keep going - it just gets better and better. I had major cravings for a couple weeks (they would just pop up out of the blue), but they do pass. It's miserable while you're in one, but SR saved me quite a few times. I just came here and kept reading, reading , reading, until I felt strong again.

We really CAN do this (one day at a time)!

Lenina

Good job on your week sober, Tempe! It does get better and SR helps me a lot. Good to see you!

Love,

Lenina

Tempe

Here it is, Day 9, and I'm just amazed I've got this far. I had around 22 days in April 2008 and only 5 days here, 3 days there since then. There were some months of 31 days I didn't have even a single sober day. It's not as hard as it was a few days ago, thank God.

Lenina

Tempe,

I'm glad you're feeling better!

Love,

Lenina

Dee74

Tempe I have whole years that I forget....what matters is now.
Day Nine is awesome!

D

Tempe

Day 10 and I awakened to it out of a very disturbing dream. Guess I got up on the wrong side of the bed for sure. Have the feeling this day is going to be a trial.

Lenina

Tempe,

Some days are a trial! I always tell myself "I'm not drinking today!" Not an option for me, so I'm not drinking. I will eat well and have lots of water.

As we know, the mood will pass. And SR is here and open 24 hours, seven days a week!

Love,

Lenina

Tempe

I effed up. I didn't get my 10. I won't stop reading, but don't plan to post until I get past 10 next time. Thanks all, for the past week or so of encouragement.

Dee74

Many of us have had a fall or two. It's really hard to change a life.
Look at what you need to add to your recovery plan - what else do you need to make this work?

I hope you do keep posting tempe - it's not like only the kids in the front row get to talk and ask questions, y'know?

Reach out when you're struggling too - there's a lot of experience, help and support here - use us

D

Tempe

Thanks, Dee.

Thanks for all of the support you have given me, and others.

Not putting the blame on anyone but myself in my relapse, but I did originally think this site was about recovery, not AA. However, it would seem when many folks here find out you aren't attending AA meetings that they stop the support. That's too bad if you ask me because I would think what is most important is that we STOP drinking, not HOW we do it.

Dee74

I'm sorry you feel that way.

All any of us can do is share what works for us - there's a lot of different approaches at work here.

I have to say though that I've never found any kind of en masse desertion away from someone not doing one particular method.

The thing I love about SR is that folks will tell you what they think, but no one's who's really worth listening to will ever stop their support Tempe

D