My soul just died tonight
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Dallas, I'm so happy - you sound so positive & are looking forward with hope & gratitude. You've been through so much, and yet you don't sound bitter or sorry for yourself.
It's so sad that we spend so much time trying to numb ourselves against the bad things that happen in our lives. All we're doing is hiding our heads in the sand & not dealing with problems as they come up. In trying to feel better and happier, we're digging our hole deeper - but we just can't see it at the time. Not until we're ready. That's in the past, though. Onward you go.....proud of you!
It's so sad that we spend so much time trying to numb ourselves against the bad things that happen in our lives. All we're doing is hiding our heads in the sand & not dealing with problems as they come up. In trying to feel better and happier, we're digging our hole deeper - but we just can't see it at the time. Not until we're ready. That's in the past, though. Onward you go.....proud of you!
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
I've been sober long enough, I'm not afraid of death. I do believe, dying is easy, living is hard but it's worth it. Every time I look into my grand kids eyes and they look up at me with a big smile on their face and I get to act like a kid with them for just a little while.
I had to learn early on who, what and where I couldn't be around if, it was a trigger for me. I was the biggest loser coming into AA. I never in my life completed anything.
The troubling thing about drinking, it just makes you more depressed everytime you drink. Drinking is not a solution to any problem there is on this green Earth.
I look back at my drinking and equate it with every time I've ever hit my finger with a hammer. I always got the same results Drinking and taking drugs do destroy our very core destroys what makes us good as a person !
I had to learn early on who, what and where I couldn't be around if, it was a trigger for me. I was the biggest loser coming into AA. I never in my life completed anything.
The troubling thing about drinking, it just makes you more depressed everytime you drink. Drinking is not a solution to any problem there is on this green Earth.
I look back at my drinking and equate it with every time I've ever hit my finger with a hammer. I always got the same results Drinking and taking drugs do destroy our very core destroys what makes us good as a person !
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
I'm so happy that you are doing well now. Congrats on 4 weeks!!!
I also freaked at the original message because I did not look at the date right away.
So I was doubly happy when I looked at the date and scrolled down for the update!!!!!
I also freaked at the original message because I did not look at the date right away.
So I was doubly happy when I looked at the date and scrolled down for the update!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Firestorm:
I agree with Anna. I think you've got the best chance of getting out of this if (1) you keep away from alcohol in any form, which means not going to restaurants, bars, etc. or any other place where alcohol is served, not keeping any around the house, not meeting anyone who still drinks. Just totally insulate yourself from alcohol for as long as it takes. I know this will be hard but you're fighting for your life and it's necessary.
Then (2) see a counselor and keep in touch with your doctor and be completely candid and honest with him or her, (3) do AA "straight up", that is literally do all the steps as completely as you can and get a good sponsor to help you.
This is going to take months, maybe several years. What is going to happen is that gradually you are going to be able to get away from your body's ability to control your mind. Your body wants, thinks it needs, the alcohol. And right now it has a very powerful influence over your mind. The horse is trampling all over you and will kill you eventually unless you are able to get back on the horse and ride it.
P.S. Fire- just caught your latest post with the good news! Congratulations on getting such a good start! But don't relax. This thing is very, very tricky. Watch your mind like a hawk! You're not out of the woods yet by a long shot. Stay clear of alcohol like it's the plague! Every good wish.
W.
I agree with Anna. I think you've got the best chance of getting out of this if (1) you keep away from alcohol in any form, which means not going to restaurants, bars, etc. or any other place where alcohol is served, not keeping any around the house, not meeting anyone who still drinks. Just totally insulate yourself from alcohol for as long as it takes. I know this will be hard but you're fighting for your life and it's necessary.
Then (2) see a counselor and keep in touch with your doctor and be completely candid and honest with him or her, (3) do AA "straight up", that is literally do all the steps as completely as you can and get a good sponsor to help you.
This is going to take months, maybe several years. What is going to happen is that gradually you are going to be able to get away from your body's ability to control your mind. Your body wants, thinks it needs, the alcohol. And right now it has a very powerful influence over your mind. The horse is trampling all over you and will kill you eventually unless you are able to get back on the horse and ride it.
P.S. Fire- just caught your latest post with the good news! Congratulations on getting such a good start! But don't relax. This thing is very, very tricky. Watch your mind like a hawk! You're not out of the woods yet by a long shot. Stay clear of alcohol like it's the plague! Every good wish.
W.
Last edited by wpainterw; 10-06-2010 at 06:11 PM. Reason: Added the P.S.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 31
Firestorm,
My heart goes out to you. My sexy hairy man. I'm sorry that you are going through this. You are a wonderful person who deserves to feel the joys of life. Don't beat yourself up for using. We are human and some of us unfortunately need to go through it time and time again before we finally get it. Opps I just read the update. Keep it strong my manly friend.
My heart goes out to you. My sexy hairy man. I'm sorry that you are going through this. You are a wonderful person who deserves to feel the joys of life. Don't beat yourself up for using. We are human and some of us unfortunately need to go through it time and time again before we finally get it. Opps I just read the update. Keep it strong my manly friend.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Thanks everyone!!!
Didn't mean to mislead anyone and am d*mn glad I'm not drunk tonight.
This recovery stuff is getting addicting, lol.
It's great not to have to look in the rear view mirror every night to see if ole smoky is after my butt, again. I knew one officer so well, I should have dated his daughter, lol.
It's great to have people call and want to talk, to just catch up and see what's up. There for a while, when I called people, they just weren't available to take my call for some reason, like maybe I'd be drunk, lol. Go figure, lol.
It's good also to go to meetings and have others show interest in what I say, and see people who are struggling and know in my gut just how bad that feels. Empathy was dead for me for many years. It's great to care again.
I'm looking forward to the holidays this year because I know I'll remember them and go to alot of meetings and maybe help some people. That's just wonderful stuff and feels wonderful too.
All in all, it's been one damn tough struggle, but it gets easier each day and it's nice to know that I don't have to run the show today, so I do my steps, go to meetings, and try to help someone today. Then I can enjoy the sunrise tomorrow, knowing it can be a great day, if I just don't drink.
Thanks all, love you all.
D
Didn't mean to mislead anyone and am d*mn glad I'm not drunk tonight.
This recovery stuff is getting addicting, lol.
It's great not to have to look in the rear view mirror every night to see if ole smoky is after my butt, again. I knew one officer so well, I should have dated his daughter, lol.
It's great to have people call and want to talk, to just catch up and see what's up. There for a while, when I called people, they just weren't available to take my call for some reason, like maybe I'd be drunk, lol. Go figure, lol.
It's good also to go to meetings and have others show interest in what I say, and see people who are struggling and know in my gut just how bad that feels. Empathy was dead for me for many years. It's great to care again.
I'm looking forward to the holidays this year because I know I'll remember them and go to alot of meetings and maybe help some people. That's just wonderful stuff and feels wonderful too.
All in all, it's been one damn tough struggle, but it gets easier each day and it's nice to know that I don't have to run the show today, so I do my steps, go to meetings, and try to help someone today. Then I can enjoy the sunrise tomorrow, knowing it can be a great day, if I just don't drink.
Thanks all, love you all.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Congratulations Firestorm! You're doing what so many folks would like to be doing and you seem to be on your way to a really wonderful recovery. Just watch your back and be careful and you're going to be O.K. and happier than you've ever been. When I look back on where I've been I consider that nothing I ever did was better than this, or harder. If I had only this to show for my life that would have been enough. Hope it's the same for you my friend. Always remember, the fellowship here on SR and in the rooms will help you out the whole way.
W.
W.
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