DryHawkeye

Anyway, I will try to keep this short. I had 62 days sober yesterday afternoon. Then of course we all know how this story normally ends. I did drink last night, I had two pints of Guinness while i watched the Virginia Tech game. Was I drunk, no. But I did drink.

Of course there is a backstory.......this is probably the hardest time of year for me. I am a huge football fan and what goes better with football than a nice cold beer. I consider myself to be very outgoing, but from time to time I like to pull back and have time for myself. My ex-gf (who I still consider my best friend) is so sure that i was on a bender that she sent me this long email that said until i go get help we can no longer be friends. That really hurt and i did want to run out and get a handle of vodka, but i went to a place right by my house and had two beers and watched football (not smart, I know). And, yes....i had me time all weekend. No phone calls, no nothing. just let me watch football in my home and i will talk to you monday.

I thinks its more of a trust thing than anything with people. I am thinking rehab may be a good thing for me. I can learn to deal with my stuff and how my life is different for the better and not the worse because i dont drink. And i do like having my ex-gf around so that would be another good reason to go (I didnt say the only reason) (i just like that emoticon)

least

Anything is possible while in recovery, but most find that being around people drinking is hard to do. Rehab might be a good option for you.

Welcome to SR!

lildawg

Well, if you think you need rehab, you probably need rehab. Almost as helpful as stepping in dog doo, huh? Truth is, nobody here can tell you (for sure) you "need" rehab. Only you can decide that.

You might give AA or SMART a try if you're unsure about rehab. Having fellowship with other alcoholics and following a program might be just the trick. Then again, you might need the break from non-sober society that rehab offers.

Either way, get sober for *you*. Getting sober because someone else threatens to remove themselves from your life can end up turning sour. That person might decide to move on for completely unrelated reasons after you get sober. Then, you won't have a reason for staying sober. Get sober because it will have a positive impact in your life, because you know it will stop the craziness.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best in finding something that works for you -- be it rehab, AA, SMART, or whatever.

DryHawkeye

Thanks for the advice y'all. I have been around SR for a while and have actually almost managed a year of sobriety. But i always slip. I actually found a rehab program that will let me bring my puppy! I want to get sober for me, but I want to be happy doing it. I was miserable that entire year i was sober. I stayed in a lot and was just bored and bitter.

DryHawkeye

Just a little sad right now.......Have never had anyone end a friendship. I have hit rock bottom before, but this may hurt the most. And i am not even hungover to really drive the point home.

lildawg

Dude, I totally get where you're coming from. It took me participating on SR to find some happiness in my sobriety. Seriously. Talking to people here inspired me to read the Big Book. Reading the Big Book inspired me to start making some changes within myself. It's not necessary for everyone, but some of us need to make some inner changes before we can find happiness in sobriety.

I have been just like you -- sober, but bitter and angry. It's miserable, and it barely seems worth the effort. I strongly suggest you find somewhere you can learn to make changes in your life.

The rehab that will let you bring your puppy sounds awesome. Dogs are therapeutic.

Anna

I'm sorry you lost your friend.

Please use this as a push to get and to stay sober.

I know that early sobriety involves a lot of hard decisions. What can you do differently next time you want to watch a football game?

GettingStronger2

Dry, I hear you about football and beer. . .i love fall, and football is a huge part of it. Drinking and watching games on the weekends has been part of my life, well, all of my life! This year has already been different. ..i just know i cannot drink. And I am enjoying the games without that over my head. Heck, i actually got to watch my Blackhawks win the Cup sober. That was something!

If you think rehab will help you, by all means, go. Take care and be strong.

DryHawkeye

I wasnt even planning to drink......that email just ruined my night. Had to get out of the house and the next thing i know i am sipping a pint of guinness. i chose that because its so heavy i can barely get through two. I knew what i was doing was counter productive to recovery, and with each sip I did not feel good about it.

Mcribb

My friends drink, they are guys, they are football fans. I explained to them I want to be the best I can be. I can't do that when I am picking myself up off the floor. Some of them don't like it but what my councelers have said is people get bitter if someone is trying to do something like I am doing, because it makes them take a look at their drinking.

Mcribb

I love football, I really do, I can go on and on about how the 3-4 defense is the greatest. I am now just not as passionate, because it is a game. Last year I felt like "Hey I made it through the week, I deserve football and beer" now after losing alot in my life time/money/energy. I deserve more than football and beer. I still watch football, I spent 7 bucks watching my favorite division 2 team, but I have a deep understanding that it is just a game. I want to be serving God, humans, other people when I am 35. If I can do good maybe people will look at me as a star like fans watching a football game (lame sounding I know)

Mcribb

I put football and beer high on my list for the longest time. Hey let me try to put family, recovery, faith first and see what happens! that is my thinking. It is funny how my brain says Man 3 months is soo short if it is things like summer, but 3 months seems forever if it is about recovery. I actually put woman above everything for awhile, they just left me with a bunch of woman calling me but the same problems lol.

CarolD

I tried to keep hanging out in bars with drinkers
and I always returned to drinking when I did.
Maybe not for a time or two...but eventually....

AA members watch football too....and do a lot of
interesting things together outside of our meetings.

I gotta say....I've never been lonely or bored in AA.

All my best ..

Hutchless

get out enjoy life just done pick up that first drink as its a killer

littlefish

Of course I don't know anything about your relationship, but it is very possible your exgf is codependent. That sounds like a controlling statement: it is an ultimatum and I think it was a little unfair. It sounds like she didn't really know if you were on a binge or not. It sounds like you weren't? So why the e-mail assuming you were?

Lots of us alcoholics end up in relationships with codependents. I think it is a bit odd that she is your ex girlfriend, but is still trying to define terms of accepting or rejecting you and making you behave in a way that she approves of. I would highly recommend visiting the friends and family of alcoholics forum here, which addresses a lot of codependency issues. You could bring up that point there, and I can assure you there will be some thoughtful and helpful replies.

About having friends who drink? I have a lot of friends who drink and I have no problem being around them because they are moderate to nil drinkers. They are the type that leave 1/2 a beer or a nearly full glass of wine on the table when they leave the restaurant after being there for hours. I am safe around those people because they are just not interested in alcohol and are uninterested in how much I drink.

The friends I couldn't keep after I quit are hard drinkers who drink to get drunk. There is big difference between those two types of "drinkers".

HidLid

I've been around my friend who drink since I stopped, as long as there is something going on besides solely drinking I'm all set. (Football, movies, tv, video games) I'm keeping on high alert for dangerous thoughts though. The nice thing about being sober is I actually remember the game the next day and don't have to go double check who won/what the score was.

LaFemme

If you were 62 days sober, why did the exgf send you that email? There is something strange there.

It sounds like you know how to get sober, just not how to do t and be happy. I think being happy is the key. If you are happy and sober you can be around people who are having beer while watching football and be okay sober...if you aren't happy it becomes a very dangerous situation.

So, and this is just my opinion, you need to do something to change how you are in sobriety, either AA, SMART, CBT or something else.

Cottonwoodchris

I can be with a friend who has a glass of wine at dinner, but not a whole bottle. And I don't have any so called "friends" that are hard drinkers any more. And, since I don't go to bars, it's no problem there.

My friends that I go to dinner with once in a while know I was sober si they would never let me drink, anyways. Sadly, I wish they were still around, most have moved to where there are jobs.

I always had a great time with my NA/ AA friends. Mondays we would go to one guy's house, his garage was outfitted with a big screen, Wii, old style C O K E cooler (no beer in there, pal) and watch the game. Sundays, we would get together and ride our bikes (it was a motorcycle meeting, yes, women ride too!) Men's Luncheon was once a year, man what a great time that was. Alwasy some activity going on. Like Carol said, you're never bored with AA. Unfortunatly I relapsed, but now it's time to start over, and this time it will stick. I've had it with booze. Period.