Mel8899

but I am so all over the place with how I feel. My sister came home and wound up taking her because I am just fried on the situation and having major allergy/hayfever issues for the last 2 days. I feel a little guilty, but I have dealt with this with my mom for years so I will get over it. Mom panicked and cried and we are not sure whether she will stay. Can't even think about that right now.
I am angry!! It was bad enough to deal with an alcoholic dad, but now with my mom as well. Dad had to collapse before we could pour him into a car and get him to a hospital, but he was still judgemental about mom's problem. They have been divorced over 20 years and still judge each other. I am sick and tired of both of them!! No wonder I drink, I was not taught anything but to deal with life by altering my mental status. Thankfully my father stayed sober and has been for over 5 years now, I am not sure we will have the same luck with mom. So many people do not look upon prescription drugs as a problem.
I even find myself being upset with my grandmother who I idealized until she passed in 1993 for not being honest with us about mom's addiction. I found out today that she has been on xanax for over 20 years and that she used to spend over $300 a month on pills. She also was diagnosed with hepatitis due to drug use.
Hoping for the best, but tired and discouraged. Trying to be there for my brother as well. The funeral for his father in law will probably be Thurs. We kept it from mom. Pray for me, all I can do is stay sober for myself and I will look for some kind of FtoF support.

Impurrfect

(((Melissa))) - I really, really hope you can get some "me" time.

You've done what you can for your mom. If she doesn't stay, it's on her. I KNOW how hard this is to accept, but you really can only do so much.

Please take a little time and take care of you. You've been stretched, pretty thin, lately, and it takes it's toll.

Big hugs and prayers to you!

Amy

LexieCat

Ditto from me.

Keep breathing, and I'm sure you brother will understand if you aren't front and center for him right now.

Hugs, get some rest.

Mel8899

Thanks everyone. Actually being there for my 10 year old nephew is not a stressor for me. I love being an Aunt. Just surprised after dealing with my mom and dad for all these years, I am so suddenly overwhelmed with total aggravation and anger with both of them. Me and the puppy are home and taking it easy. Don't really want to, but I need a benedryl tonight to get rid of the hay fever. Just don't like the way it dries me out, but maybe without the alcohol mixed in it won't be so bad.

dollydo

Sending hugs and am here for support. One day at a time, that's all we can try and work through.

Try and get a good nights rest, it will help.

Mel8899

Mom just called really pissed off that she will be there for 18 days. She insists that she has only been on Xanax for 18 months. Earlier in the week she admitted to only 2 months. She is pissed that we lied about her usage. I know from my father that she has had Xanax for over 20 years. I am so tired of dealing with this ****.

Impurrfect

I suffer from allergies, too, but benadryl never does much. I think it's probably because I abused it, in times past. I'm a typical addict...if one is good, 10 would be GREAT, right?

I'm sure you are an awesome aunt, but just remember...your nephew is going to need your love, compassion and understanding for the long haul. It's okay to take a little "me time" and it actually teaches the kids in our life that it's OKAY to take care of us. What a gift, to be able to share what we know with the kids in our life.

Snuggle up with your puppy and get some rest. Our dog is napping under my blanket, and I have to disturb her to clean off the bed and change the sheets There have been many a time, when snuggling with my cats (or the dog) and getting some good rest have made life much more tolerable.

Love, hugs and prayers,

Amy

Mel8899

Mom just called really pissed off that she will be there for 18 days. She insists that she has only been on Xanax for 18 months. Earlier in the week she admitted to only 2 months. She is pissed that we lied about her usage. I know from my recovering alcoholic father that she has had Xanax for over 20 years. I am so tired of dealing with this ****.

My mom is the queen of guilt trips. I think the allergies are god's way of telling me to slow down and sleep

In a perfect world, me and my puppy could just pack up and move away... I would go to Sanibel Island.

Impurrfect

OMG, I LOVE Sanibel Island!!! Even if you can't physically get there, curl up with the puppy and dream about it....endless beaches with gorgeous seashells!! Imagine the ocean waves lapping at your feet, sun basking your skin, etc.

There's nothing wrong with taking yourself elsewhere, even if it's only in your mind

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

wicked

Mom has access to a phone in a detox facility? That is surprising.
But, no matter, because she is callin you and making you ill.
I am sorry Mel8899, this sucks for you.
I am thinking of you hope you can find some peace.
Any way you can block her calling?

Beth

wpainterw

You sure have had a lot on your plate to deal with! (Reminds me of that line, "I been in Sorrow's Kitchen, and licked out all de pots!") I really admire how you are somehow coping with all that. Just think what might have happened though if you'd not been in recovery yourself! I had some real bad stuff happen in my family just after I got into recovery but managed to hang in there and I'm really glad I was able to do that. So good luck to you! Every good wish!

W.

Mel8899

As mom put it, she is limited to the phone usage and will call the "next time she gets out of her cell".
Impurrfect, we have been going to Sanibel Island for years and I love it because I could take my dog and she loved it. They allow dogs on the beach there as well. I have a reservation there for Thanksgiving weekend and although my Zoe passed away, I have the new puppy (Linus)that will be getting used to his yearly beach vacation. If mom does not go this year I will absolutely continue to go on my own.