Me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: London
Posts: 5
Me
Hi
Im new here and this is day 1 without a drink. I have been drinking for the last 10 years but its now come to the point that its taking over my life. I have searched around for help but was always to afraid to ask for it or even admit i had a problem. I have read many posts here this morning and i realise how many sound like me. My first step was to admit to myself that i have a real problem which i have done in this post and now i need support to keep me away from booze. I would like to try AA but that would mean admitting it to my family and im to scared to do that right now. Any support would help xx
Im new here and this is day 1 without a drink. I have been drinking for the last 10 years but its now come to the point that its taking over my life. I have searched around for help but was always to afraid to ask for it or even admit i had a problem. I have read many posts here this morning and i realise how many sound like me. My first step was to admit to myself that i have a real problem which i have done in this post and now i need support to keep me away from booze. I would like to try AA but that would mean admitting it to my family and im to scared to do that right now. Any support would help xx
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hey there. It's good to see another person from UK.
Admitting the problem, and truly accepting it, is crucial in standing a chance of staying sober.
I know for me then I had to truly accept myself as an alcoholic to stay sober. I have been sober nearly 14 months now. I have rebuilt my life back up 'one day at a time'. I had to accept that 1 drink is too many and 10,0000 never enough!
It's the first drink that does all of the damage if you're an alcoholic. Checking out an AA meeting is probably a good decision. You should learn some good stuff there from people who are gratefully sober. If nothing else then it gives a chance to be with people who share the same problem as yourself, which is always comforting.
I can only share my experience which is that my immediate family already knew about my heavy drinking and drugging and witnessed me in blackouts and off my face on Cocaine and pills many, many, many times. Still didn't stop me drinking and drugging though! I stopped when I was ready to stop and accepted that indeed I am an alcoholic and addict. Prison, mental institution or death were the only outcomes of my behaviour. I saw that very clearly as my binging was totally out of control.
Everybody in my family knows I'm a recovering alcoholic and I have had nothing but positive support and encouragement, I don't think they liked seeing me when I bumped into them and I was off my face. I would imagine they prefer me able to speak and string a sentence together! ha-ha.
I find that in my recovery then rigorous honesty is essential. I have to be open and honest as lies and secrets just got me drunk. I appreciate however that evrybody's situation is very different and I can only speak for my supportive family.
All The Best.
Admitting the problem, and truly accepting it, is crucial in standing a chance of staying sober.
I know for me then I had to truly accept myself as an alcoholic to stay sober. I have been sober nearly 14 months now. I have rebuilt my life back up 'one day at a time'. I had to accept that 1 drink is too many and 10,0000 never enough!
It's the first drink that does all of the damage if you're an alcoholic. Checking out an AA meeting is probably a good decision. You should learn some good stuff there from people who are gratefully sober. If nothing else then it gives a chance to be with people who share the same problem as yourself, which is always comforting.
I can only share my experience which is that my immediate family already knew about my heavy drinking and drugging and witnessed me in blackouts and off my face on Cocaine and pills many, many, many times. Still didn't stop me drinking and drugging though! I stopped when I was ready to stop and accepted that indeed I am an alcoholic and addict. Prison, mental institution or death were the only outcomes of my behaviour. I saw that very clearly as my binging was totally out of control.
Everybody in my family knows I'm a recovering alcoholic and I have had nothing but positive support and encouragement, I don't think they liked seeing me when I bumped into them and I was off my face. I would imagine they prefer me able to speak and string a sentence together! ha-ha.
I find that in my recovery then rigorous honesty is essential. I have to be open and honest as lies and secrets just got me drunk. I appreciate however that evrybody's situation is very different and I can only speak for my supportive family.
All The Best.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 438
Welcome to SR, and congratulations for admitting you have a problem and taking some initial steps to address it. You'll find lots of support here on the boards and in the chatroom. If you aren't quite comfortable with your family knowing about your problem, could you possibly go to a few AA meetings without them necessarily knowing about it? You might get some good advice from other AA members about how to approach them...and ultimately I do think it's best if the people who are close to you know about your situation and can be supportive. Being an alcoholic is nothing to be ashamed of, it's a disease that can be treated and if you can enlist the support of your family and friends it will definitely be better for you and your recovery.
Stick around here, you'll find a lot of support (and fun) with the people here at SR. Take care,
Stephanie
Stick around here, you'll find a lot of support (and fun) with the people here at SR. Take care,
Stephanie
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Welcome!
It IS really scary to admit that you have an addiction and to know that you need to face the issues in your life. There is lots of support here, and good information too.
It IS really scary to admit that you have an addiction and to know that you need to face the issues in your life. There is lots of support here, and good information too.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
Welcome mv!
You have tons of support here as we were all at day one once upon a time. You should check out AA meetings since it's a great experience to be close to "non-drinkers" and they are so supportive as well. Your family does not have to know about your new goal for the time being. I went to a meeting on my Day Two and I felt terrible with the detoxing and all. However, after walking out of that meeting, I felt like a new person with a positive attitude about life of sobriety.
Good luck to you my friend and keep us posted!
You have tons of support here as we were all at day one once upon a time. You should check out AA meetings since it's a great experience to be close to "non-drinkers" and they are so supportive as well. Your family does not have to know about your new goal for the time being. I went to a meeting on my Day Two and I felt terrible with the detoxing and all. However, after walking out of that meeting, I felt like a new person with a positive attitude about life of sobriety.
Good luck to you my friend and keep us posted!
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Hi and welcome mvlc50!! I am wondering why you feel like you have to tell your family right away. I've been sober over a month, have come to SR for support, and even if I had attended meetings, which I havent yet, my family wouldn't have to know. Actually only my husband and 1 other friend know, and I feel its much easier that way. I don't want to have the conversation with everyone I know, and I don't want everyone to watch me at every event. Actually after a week into sobriety I acted like there was alcohol in my cup when there actually wasn't. I used my regular mixer, and didnt add the vodka, and noone even had a clue. Basically this is your problem and your decision, and until you have a plan, you don't have to say anything. All you have to do is not drink. Thats the first step, and then do what comes natural to you. Feel out your treatment options. Look into AA or SMART. Come on this site, God knows its my biggest support. Good luck, and keep us posted.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Welcome and congrats on taking the first step -- admitting you cannot handle alcohol.
I would highly suggest going to an AA meeting. . .and I wouldn't worry about your family. If they haven't said anything, they probably know anyway. And in all likelihood, they will be supportive. For whatever reason, I feel it is very important and very helpful to be honest about this step of your recovery with those close to you. But that is just my opnion.
AA is not for everyone, and all meetings are different. But it has helped a lot of people. And it helps being around other people who really understand where you are and what you are going through.
I would highly suggest going to an AA meeting. . .and I wouldn't worry about your family. If they haven't said anything, they probably know anyway. And in all likelihood, they will be supportive. For whatever reason, I feel it is very important and very helpful to be honest about this step of your recovery with those close to you. But that is just my opnion.
AA is not for everyone, and all meetings are different. But it has helped a lot of people. And it helps being around other people who really understand where you are and what you are going through.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Welcome, and I second (or third or whatever) the suggestion of going to AA. I share information about my recovery on a "need to know" basis. People that you live with have presumably seen your drinking, so I don't see any need to hide the fact that you are stopping it. With other family members, there's no rush--wait until you are comfortable telling them, or until you need to.
To avoid the most available source of help out of fear people will know you are doing it is counterproductive. It's a lot more embarrassing to be a drunk than to be a member of AA, trust me.
To avoid the most available source of help out of fear people will know you are doing it is counterproductive. It's a lot more embarrassing to be a drunk than to be a member of AA, trust me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
You don't have to admit anything you don't want to to where your family are concerned.
Why don't you go to some meetings and then when you feel more comfortable tell them if you need to.
It's your own recovery - no-one else's.
xxxx
Why don't you go to some meetings and then when you feel more comfortable tell them if you need to.
It's your own recovery - no-one else's.
xxxx
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome mvlc! Glad you found this forum - it's the BEST! I hope you don't have any trouble with detox (see a doc if you do). The first few days are the worst, but if we can do it, you can to. It feels so good to wake up with a clear head and feel well-rested instead of "oh God, why did I do this to myself AGAIN?"
Look forward to seeing you around!
Look forward to seeing you around!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
Welcome to SR and glad you joined the family. You owe no explanations unless you want to tell someone. It's your business. I didn't advertise my sobriety except to a few family members I trust. No one else needs to know. Only tell those you trust.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: London
Posts: 5
Well day 2 today, it feels strange not to have a fuzzy head! I spent yesterday afternoon walking in the English countryside, something i hav'nt done in years, with my 20 year old son. We talked about me and i was ashamed at how upset i made him feel but i needed to hear that and for me thats a start. I am working today and hoping that when i get home i will be so tired i wont reach for a drink *i ache all over from the walk*. Just to say that this site is just what i need right now it really helps xxxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: England
Posts: 196
Hi and Welcome
Your doing the right thing by becoming Sober, it really does feel good !
I tell people that I have gave up the Drink because it had a grip on me and leave it at that. Please keep Posting and look for support, it is always here..
Your doing the right thing by becoming Sober, it really does feel good !
I tell people that I have gave up the Drink because it had a grip on me and leave it at that. Please keep Posting and look for support, it is always here..
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