Not great, but better.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 150
Not great, but better.
So, I began posting again here about a week and a half ago. Since then I traveled out of state and did not drink any hard liquor, drank a few "safe" (I say that with sarcasm because I've traditionally toned my drinking down to beer when I've gone too far with liquor) beers but to no great detriment until my SO actually encouraged me to go to the hotel bar with a friend of his from work. Maybe he wanted to impress his friend with his cool drinking chick, who knows. I did, and I don't recall the end. I was only drinking beer that day so I then proved to myself, that no, indeed, hard liquor is not my only problem. I have not drunk since. Day 5 today. My record this year is 20 days, and I mean it when I say I'd forgotten what a great feeling it is to wake up without any effects of alcohol. No hangover, no suffocating anxiety, wow. I don't know why I take so long to learn sometimes. I think I may have a self-destructive personality: nailbiting, eating disorder (former), you name it. I am glad to be back to internet access because I've missed this site and its influence on my life.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi Stella,
Alcohol is alcohol, so I don't think it makes any difference at all whether it's beer or whatever.
I'm glad you have decided to stop drinking. I had a self-destructive personality too. I think anyone who poisons themselves with alcohol is self-destructive. Believe that you deserve a good life! You can do this!
Alcohol is alcohol, so I don't think it makes any difference at all whether it's beer or whatever.
I'm glad you have decided to stop drinking. I had a self-destructive personality too. I think anyone who poisons themselves with alcohol is self-destructive. Believe that you deserve a good life! You can do this!
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Anna always takes the words right out of my mouth:-) anyone who abuses alcohol is self destructive...I knew I was committing suicide. I am profoundly grateful I failed, life is wonderful and worth living...we just have to figure that out.
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
If I was drinking just beer then it was drinking enough beer untill I passed out.
If I was drinking lager then it was drinking enough untill I was passed out.
If I was drinking spirits then it was enough until I was passed out.
You get the picture.
In England we have super-strength lager which is 9%. I used to drink that quite a bit. I think only alcoholics really drink that stuff. 500ML cans of 9% lager. I used to love that sh*t but hate it at the same time. I used to pour a can into a pint glass and nail it in about 10 seconds and feel the burn in my stomach and then the buzz work it's way out from the burn.
Yer, I guess I only drank to get wasted, regardless of what I drank I would always get wasted. I blacked out nearly everytime I ever drank, right from the first time I ever properly drank at 14. I was a beer connoisseur too. Loved my real ales and used to love going to the boozer with my old man and sampling and enjoying the different real ales, but I would love them so much that I would drink them until I was passed out. I would usually drink spirits to finish the job off quicker if there were any knocking about and resort to cheap and nasty white cider to finish the job off too. I was classy man! ha-ha.
I'm an alcoholic and alcohol would kill me and take me to the gutter if I allowed it back into my life.
Grateful to be sober.
If I was drinking lager then it was drinking enough untill I was passed out.
If I was drinking spirits then it was enough until I was passed out.
You get the picture.
In England we have super-strength lager which is 9%. I used to drink that quite a bit. I think only alcoholics really drink that stuff. 500ML cans of 9% lager. I used to love that sh*t but hate it at the same time. I used to pour a can into a pint glass and nail it in about 10 seconds and feel the burn in my stomach and then the buzz work it's way out from the burn.
Yer, I guess I only drank to get wasted, regardless of what I drank I would always get wasted. I blacked out nearly everytime I ever drank, right from the first time I ever properly drank at 14. I was a beer connoisseur too. Loved my real ales and used to love going to the boozer with my old man and sampling and enjoying the different real ales, but I would love them so much that I would drink them until I was passed out. I would usually drink spirits to finish the job off quicker if there were any knocking about and resort to cheap and nasty white cider to finish the job off too. I was classy man! ha-ha.
I'm an alcoholic and alcohol would kill me and take me to the gutter if I allowed it back into my life.
Grateful to be sober.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: The Present
Posts: 425
Stella
The "safe beer" syndrome was a big part of my delusion that alcohol isn't a problem as long as you're drinking beer. Like Neo, me and my mates used to go through beer like a chainsaw through a duck. The trouble is that after six or seven beers you don't really care what you drink and, inevitably, someone in the group calls for a round of tequila and then its schapps, and rum, and whiskey, and... and... I remember a night in Kathmandu when the target was 10 Everest lagers, and Everest Lager comes in quarts.
Oblivion set in after a few rounds of tequilas. As Anna sagely said, alcohol is alcohol. Beer is just the preliminary round of a 15-match fight where you go all the way but lose, battered and bruised, on a technical knockout... That's why they call it, Punch Drunk.
The "safe beer" syndrome was a big part of my delusion that alcohol isn't a problem as long as you're drinking beer. Like Neo, me and my mates used to go through beer like a chainsaw through a duck. The trouble is that after six or seven beers you don't really care what you drink and, inevitably, someone in the group calls for a round of tequila and then its schapps, and rum, and whiskey, and... and... I remember a night in Kathmandu when the target was 10 Everest lagers, and Everest Lager comes in quarts.
Oblivion set in after a few rounds of tequilas. As Anna sagely said, alcohol is alcohol. Beer is just the preliminary round of a 15-match fight where you go all the way but lose, battered and bruised, on a technical knockout... That's why they call it, Punch Drunk.
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Originally Posted by AWOL 
The trouble is that after six or seven beers you don't really care what you drink and, inevitably, someone in the group calls for a round of tequila and then its schapps, and rum, and whiskey, and... and...
I guess this is what separates the alcoholic from the normal drinkers. Consequences go out of the window and all that matters is getting to oblivion as quickly as possible. The thing about oblivion is that the thought of it was the good part and so exciting. But I would just wake up not remembering anything and full of anxiety and paranoia as to my behaviour. The craving for another beer to kill the anxiety and get back into the buzz would be too much and I would drink as soon as my eyes opened and I would be chasing oblivion again, even though I couldn't remember it anyway!
The best way is to not play the game at all and just stay sober 'just for today'.
Peace.
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