eereed

I am not sure if you guys remember me. I was only on here for 1 thread, 4 months ago. I was having some health concers. Elevated liver enzymes. Etc.

I had my liver biopsy in the middle of May and it came back with a fatty liver. Dr. said that there might have been some minimal scarring, if any. If the scale was 1 to 4, and I had cirrhois, that would be level 4. I was between a 0 and 1.

Welp, over the last 4 months I have come to the certain, absolute, no doubt about it decision that I am an alcoholic. I have been drunk just about every day for the last 4 months. The last month? Starting at 8 am to "cure" the hangover from the day before.

I thought for certain that I had a few more months in me of drinking I guess, because of the liver biopsy that I had...

Insane, I know.

I had my last drink on Sunday night August 29th, at 9 PM. I haven't had a drop of alcohol in the last 30 someodd hours. Which, believe it or not, is really saying something.

I haven't been back to Dr. since May, skipping appts...and whatnot.

My boss, who I found out last week is a recovering alcoholic that told me something last Friday, that I am carrying with me hourly.

I promise you, if you choose not to have that drink. You will never wake up the next morning and regret not drinking.

joey8262

i'm in the same boat eereed-i had my 1st drink at 9.30 this morning-i'd had 4 500ml beers by 10.45-i dont know what happened in my head but this afternoon i've drunk more coffee than i can tolerate-and i still am now-i've decided that today was my last day for drinking-this has been going on for far too long-instead of coffee in the morning i was drinking beer-and yes i too, am an alcoholic-it's taken me so long to realise it that i'm worried sick about withdrawing from it-i know i'm going to be climbing the walls later or tomorrow-thats for sure-but being on here talking to people in the same situation today has really helped me out-i'm itching for a drink now but i've started so i WILL carry on-with the coffees i mean-not backing down this time.

good luck and keep posting.

joey.

Dee74

Welcome back eereed

I hope you'll use the support here to get some ideas on what to do next - and please do go back to your Dr and pick up those lost appointments

D

eereed

I have had a lot of anxiety, A LOT. Pressure on chest was unbearable last night. I didn't sleep much. But I felt better today being just tired, rather than tired and hung over.

I had a strange dream last night, (even more strange than the fact I can't remember the last time I dreamed).

I was walking down the road with my family and we came to a fork. One road went up a hill, another went down a hill. My family started heading toward the road up the hill, I chose the one down the hill and said, "I'll see you on the other side of the hill! I'm gonna stay here a little longer."

In my dream, I didn't make it to the other side of the hill. I never saw them again. I woke up in the middle of the night and went and checked on everyone in my family.

I don't know how much more damage I have done drinking the way that I have for the last 4 months in the condition that I was in to begin with. But I would like to think that everything is still going to be reversible. Because there wasn't "severe" damage to begin with.

But I certainly feel like I am standing at that fork in the road right now. And I want to go with my family.

stanleyhouse

Eereed
Welcome. Your family wants you with them. Once you want sobriety for yourself, you will be free. Do you have some options? Can you seek treatment? There are centers out there that are AA and NONAA based. They can detox you and help you in early sobriety. You are starting to look at your life and wanting a change. People with alcoholism go through what they call stages of change. I would look it up, see where you are and where you want to be.
SH

wpainterw

ee: Welcome back! When that liver stuff gets to be a problem that sure is a wakeup call. When I was in a rehab 22 years ago my liver was way out of control.So much so that the doctors didn't think it was reversible. Fortunately it was. One of the things that got my attention was a nurse telling me that she'd seen lots of folks die of cancer and others die of cirrhosis (Did I spell that right?) and that, if she had to choose between the two, she'd take cancer any old day! Because dying of liver failure is one very very bad trip. Sounds like your liver situation might be reversible if you just stay off the booze. Good luck and every good wish.

W.

artsoul

Glad you're back eereed and that you've decided to take the high road. You're right - reaching for that drink at 8 a.m. is not something social drinkers do. It's a sad state when we feel like we have to have alcohol just to get rid of the pain the alcohol is causing. Insane, for sure.

It will take some time for your body to heal, so try to be patient with yourself and take it a day at a time. If we can do it, so can you!