Durden

I have been sober since June 9th and still struggle immensely with urges to have a drink. The pattern I got into that lead to sobriety was drinking almost nightly immediately after work and on the weekends. I was unable to stop at just 1 or 2 but usually had 3 sizeable Vodka drinks or several galsses of wine per night. Many times I would fall asleep (or pass-out) on the couch while watching a movie or TV with my family. I was never an abusive drunk nor did I ever drink and drive so it took me a while to convince myself I had a problem. I would always compare myself to "real" alcoholics and convince myself I didn't have a problem.

Since I have stopped drinking, I find myself a bit grumpier in the evenings, struggling to find a way to relieve stress without taking it out on my family. My wife has noticed but is very understanding and has been patient with me.

I have replaced alchololic drinks with Club Soda + Fruit Juice and make a plan when in social situations to avoid the temptation. I find it easier to deal with if I pre-plan what it is I am going to drink.

I joined this group because I am committed to the idea of sober for life but lately have felt like I need a bit more support. I am not religious but do appreciate ideas and feedback from all perspectives.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to spending time in these forums.

artsoul

Welcome Durden- Congratulations on your time sober. This is a great place to come for support and I look forward to seeing you around the forum!

I have about 4 months sober now, but still get those urges from time to time. It really helps me a lot to have the support of the great people here, and I know you'll get the same kind of support I have.

firestorm090

Hi Durden,

Welcome to the group.

It helps to bear in mind that getting grumpy is not always related to booze, it happens to the best of us. KeepCB is right, staying busy and accomplishing things seems more rewarding when sober and helps takes the edge off. I was on a chocolate shake frenzy for a couple weeks, but your fruit juice-club soda combo sounds good. You'll find much support here, so check in often. Sobriety is not always easy, but it sure makes your life less complicated, and you'll have more time to build the kind of life you want.

Dee74

Hi Durden
Welcome to SR

Congratulations on your 4 months.

I don't know your whole story, but for me I know I'd stop drinking, but staying stopped was a real problem for me.

I finally worked out I needed to look at why I drank as much as anything - I had this void inside me that I used to fill with booze...I'd stopped the booze but I still had the void.

Working to fill that void, working on the underlying reasons why I drank helped me move into recovery.

Some folks go to AA, or some other recovery group; others go to counselling, some throw themselves in here. You'll find a lot of ideas and support here.

Good to have you with us
D

sazza

Hi durden, am also new here and know what you mean about feeling grumpy in the evenings, knowing you are not going to drink yet wondering what the hell is going to fill your time.

Going for a walk with your family may help, watching a comedy on tv, am struggling also. What i see is that while i was drinking I became emotionally disconnected from my family. In other words, I wanted them to go away so I could drink in peace. Am trying to "plug in" again, but am finding it hard. I can just about stand to be in the same room as myself now that I'm not drinking, I wonder how on earth anybody else can be?

zbear23

My solution was to find a room where others with the same problem got together....meeting with those of llike mind (crazy) in mutual support. I chose AA, but there are lots of other support groups. One of the best things was that I could always find an AA meeting every day/night, and that helped fill up those empty hours when I'd normally be drinking. It also provided me with a new social venue and sober activities.

blessings
zenbear

Anna

Welcome Durden,

Congratulations on your 4 months of sobriety.

I agree with you that planning ahead is a key to getting through difficult situations. I use SR as my lifeline and I hope you continue to read and post.

Durden

Thank you all for the warm welcome.

GettingStronger2

Durden welcome. . .we are close to the same sobriety date, mine is June 5. And like you, I drinkg fruit juice mixed with sparking water in the evenings.

I was really grumpy in the first few weeks. . .incredibly moody. But no longer. I am at peace and feeling really good.

What have you been doing to stay sober besides not drinking? Are you doing any type of program or self-improvement/reading?

Have you replaced the unhealthy habit and time of drinking with other things?

CarolD

Glad you joined us.....Welcome....

Try going for a brisk walk when you feel grumpy.
Well done on your sober time....

julez

Welcome Durden!! Ive been sober for a month and still have cravings. I do believe that I struggle more mentally with it, and it seems as though you do too. I really enjoy reading, so if I'm grumpy and craving I usually grab a glass of water and shut myself in my room and read. My husband is fully understanding of the times I need to do that. Maybe you could find something to "putz" with. Something to keep your hands and mind busy. Maybe woodworking, or something. I think that its important to have something you can do by yourself. When I'm grumpy and craving I am usually not in the mood for family stuff. I also take my dogs running. Remember, this problem is YOURS, and you need to get through it for YOU. Find little things about your life to enjoy.

least

Welcome to SR! Getting sober is just part of recovery, the other part is learning to live a sober life, learning to live without drinking. It takes some time, and I've found my weekly counseling sessions very useful.

I hope we can help you find the support and direction you need to live happily sober.

Durden

I do quite a bit of cycling but do that during the day over lunch and its the early evening when I have worst cravings. The worst time for me is just after work with post-work stress compounded with non-relaxing activities such as making dinner and dealing with my kids. It is a difficult time to inject a distraction like reading or excercising. In the past, I would start drinking just after work and continue until 8:00pm or so.