76firefly

Hey everyone, last time I posted on here I had less than 90 days and was feeling like crap, depressed and hopeless. Now, I'm one week shy of my 1 year birthday and now it's starting to come all back. I've read a few other posts where the year jitters come and sometimes they actually get worse after their birthday. I've read so many different things I'm beginning to wonder and worry, how I'll feel the week after my birthday. I mean I've come so far, from the brink of complete and utter despair, to well, ****, dare I say it, happiness?
After all, I did lose all my possessions, career, fiance and son, license, car, you know everything, but the things I have gained back are the things that I probably should have spent my time developing in the first place instead of my ability to drink a 5th of Smirnoff daily and hide it from my family (or so I thought).

So, I guess my question is, if you begin feeling that way before you're first birthday, how did you deal with it? And also, after you're first birthday, did you feel depressed and overwhelmed because that big one year anniversary is over with and well...what's next, is this all sobriety is? You know that sort of thing. I'm curious about other peoples experiences with their first year and if there are any tips and or ideas on how to avoid the 1 year birthday blues after receiving their "never thought I would make it" chip?

Thanks in advance!

Dee74

Hi 76 Firefly

You're right - birthday jitters are pretty common. I went through a low spot around my one year.

I offer this PAWs link as one possible explanation

Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) — Why we don’t get better immediately) Digital Dharma

Maybe it will have some resonance for you - welcome to SR
D

AWOL

Hi Firefly

Congratulations on your impending one year! You're way ahead of me, but I've found that living just for today, without expection or anticipation of what may happen tomorrow, next week, next year... has helped me a lot.

As Albert Camus said,"Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present."

mush72

Way to go Firefly! You've made it this far just ONE DAY AT A Time. Reading your post made me nervous thinking/projecting to my one year, then I started getting really nervous about what kind of jitters I'll have, etc. Then I read AWOL and was reminded that projecting and expecting gets this drunk, drunk! Cease the Day...what you've acquired in putting 364 days together is amazing. I hope you pass it on! Thanks for sharing.

CarolD

Hmmm....
Are you doing Step work? Helping other people?
Daily connecting with your HP and AA?

I find prayer immensley calming...regardless of the situation.

Glad to know of your sober progress....

yeahgr8

Ive seen people get all jittery about the one year mark and some go a bit nuts...

My one year was a couple of months ago...just another day of my new life for me it really wasn't relevant at all other than marking some kind of goal others can aspire to when they walk through the doors?! At 39 i don't get that excited over birthdays either:-)

jmf7dd

I love all the advice that has been offered thus far, and like another poster I'm curious about your step work... where you are and all that good stuff. I have learned to remind myself when i'm getting all twisted in my head with doubts and worries and fear.... uuugghh fear.... that those are the very things that kept me drunk for all the years I drank. And now that i'm sober, not even close to a year, but I'm okay with the days I have, because everyday is a day I can add toward that pending date. And I thank God that I can now live life ONE day at a time, ONE decision at a time. I don't have to control tomorrow. That's what God is serving out in my life, my tomorrows, come what may.... I will make the best of what i get and move on SOBER. I know that's the only plan that will work for me, for I have exhausted all the other plans in my life. ONE DAY AT A TIME! never forget that message. I hear people tell stories all the time in AA about how they had x amount of years... and they became negligent... stopped working the steps and and the program and they were trying to do it themselves... only to find out yet again that that is what got them into AA in the first place... trying to do it by themselves, on their terms, alone. Here's to another 24!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rusty Zipper

good for you 76

recovery and sobriety is about growth,

dont think, just grow with it

all good wishes to you

NEOMARXIST

Hi there. Reading your post then it sounds like you are doing an awful lot of 'projecting'. You are trying to guess how you're going to feel in a weeks time etc. Like myself your 'projections' tend to be negative too. I guess that's being an alcoholic.

For me then I have to live this recovery 'one day at a time'. Make sure you work your recovery each day and do all what you've gotta do to make sure you're not treading water and staying stagnant but actively making positive steps forwards and progressing in your recovery and life.

I celebrated a year sober on 8th July 10 and like has been said it was just another day. However it was a day that I was proud of and cherished dearly. All the sober time under my belt definately helps me gain greater clarity in my recovery and undoubably strengthens my sobriety and recovery. This of course only providing that I work my recovery daily. It's a daily work in progress for me as my mood and thoughts are liable to change from one day to the next. I make sure I cherish and 'cement' my good time's in my life so that I have the strength, knowledge and wisdom to work through the bad days.

Keep the faith 'one day at a time'. Congratulations on your sober time!! You should be proud of that achievement... Many never make it that far.

Peace