New
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 74
New
Hi, I am new here. My doc is cocaine, the powder variety. I really need to stop before it's too late. I've already missed bill payments and I can sometimes use up to 2 grams a day. I can't live like this anymore. The high is no longer fun. I am tired of the nose bleeds and headaches and the depression and the guilt. I am tired of not having one dollar in my pocket to buy a coffee. I need help so bad. I am scared that if I don't do something soon I will lose my house, my job, my kids.....so yea. I have been reading this board for a few days now and I hope I can find support. Shoot I am terrified I am gonna OD any day now. I have high blood pressure as it is....ugh I wish I had never touched this drug.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,368
Hi divineangel
I'm an alcoholic, but I think it's important for anyone here to get the right help.
You'll find a lot of support here of course but have you got a doctor you can see? It might pay to discuss your options with them.
Have you thought of a recovery programme, like NA or CA (Cocaine Anon) or SMART?
or counselling?
some kind of inpatient or outpatient rehab?
It might also help you to visit our substance abuse forum here - you'll find a lot of help and support down there too.
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Welcome to SR
D
I'm an alcoholic, but I think it's important for anyone here to get the right help.
You'll find a lot of support here of course but have you got a doctor you can see? It might pay to discuss your options with them.
Have you thought of a recovery programme, like NA or CA (Cocaine Anon) or SMART?
or counselling?
some kind of inpatient or outpatient rehab?
It might also help you to visit our substance abuse forum here - you'll find a lot of help and support down there too.
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Welcome to SR
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,413
Welcome... so glad you have joined us. You will find wonderful friends here full of great support and kindness, and everyone has something in common... wanted to recover.
Drop by often and post, this forum is a great inspiration.
I look forward to getting to know you.
Drop by often and post, this forum is a great inspiration.
I look forward to getting to know you.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi DivineAngel - I'm glad you posted. Admitting our problem and asking for help/support is the necessary first step. I knew I was addicted to alcohol and could have a better life without it, but I still kept drinking. Eventually I just knew I couldn't take anymore - you sound like you're at the same place.
I hope you keep posting and reading. Dee suggested a lot of great resources, so I hope you check those out. :ghug3
I hope you keep posting and reading. Dee suggested a lot of great resources, so I hope you check those out. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
devineangel - I'm an alcoholic but know what a terribly addicting drug cocaine is. I came close years ago and I can relate to what you're going through and it will be a tough call on your own. You really need to seek outside help to get you through this. Most importantly is to resist that evil drug and when you have the urge, you have to think of what you have to loose. We are all fighting our addictions and the struggle seems to be so much easier since finding SR.
Keep posting and reading - you have tons of support and SR is open 24/7.
Keep posting and reading - you have tons of support and SR is open 24/7.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 796
Welcome to the site, angel.
I'm an alcoholic, but in my 20's would use any drug I could get my hands on. Back then cocaine was more of a social drug. Seemed like everyone did it. I sure did.
The thing I learned about cocaine, is that you don't have to use any more of than you have before to OD on it.
That's what happened to me. I did about a quarter gram over an hour and that did it, I was overdosing. I was driving with a friend at the time and managed to pull over.
He rushed me to the ER and they saved me. I worked at a different hospital at the time so it was very importatant to me that no one in that hospital found out. Crazy.
So, know what I did the next day? I had about another quarter left and snorted it just to prove I could still do it! Crazier.
I was so afaraid, laying there in the er, that they were going to take my coke. More concerned with that, than living.
Please be very careful with this drug. There is no good amount to use, or way to do it. It's powerful and it can kill you in an instant. Take it, for what it's worth, from someone whose been there.
Seek professional help if need be, please! Before it's too late.
Maybe you won't be as lucky as I was.
Wishing you the best.
I'm an alcoholic, but in my 20's would use any drug I could get my hands on. Back then cocaine was more of a social drug. Seemed like everyone did it. I sure did.
The thing I learned about cocaine, is that you don't have to use any more of than you have before to OD on it.
That's what happened to me. I did about a quarter gram over an hour and that did it, I was overdosing. I was driving with a friend at the time and managed to pull over.
He rushed me to the ER and they saved me. I worked at a different hospital at the time so it was very importatant to me that no one in that hospital found out. Crazy.
So, know what I did the next day? I had about another quarter left and snorted it just to prove I could still do it! Crazier.
I was so afaraid, laying there in the er, that they were going to take my coke. More concerned with that, than living.
Please be very careful with this drug. There is no good amount to use, or way to do it. It's powerful and it can kill you in an instant. Take it, for what it's worth, from someone whose been there.
Seek professional help if need be, please! Before it's too late.
Maybe you won't be as lucky as I was.
Wishing you the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 74
Yes I have heard that of cocaine before. Sometimes a line that you would think is tiny can kill you even if you just did one 3x bigger than that the time before. Wow that's scary that you od'd. I haven't yet (knock on wood) and I am surprised I haven't given the copious amounts I consume over a short time (I can easily tear through a gram in under 6 hours).Yup cocaine has a way of taking over your thoughts and making you do things you normally wouldn't (like spend your cable bill money on it or whatever). I agree that professional help is required cause even now I am sitting here arguing with myself about purchasing some tonight.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Cocaine was never my DOC, but I remember that when I did do it, even the first time was ridiculous as to how I just wanted to keep on and on and on. Stayed up all night, and finally just had to stop because the paranoia started setting in. Whew.....
DivineAngel, I hope you come hang out with us tonight, rather than getting more coke. You don't deserve to have your life run by this stuff. Think about what you will lose if you don't stop and what you can gain if you do. We're here for you - hugs and prayers!!
DivineAngel, I hope you come hang out with us tonight, rather than getting more coke. You don't deserve to have your life run by this stuff. Think about what you will lose if you don't stop and what you can gain if you do. We're here for you - hugs and prayers!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dayton, OH.
Posts: 879
Hi Divine! Welcome to SR. I hope you did not use last night.
All this talk about cocaine. My DOC is the hard version. I remember when a gram wouldn't last me 1/2 hour. Geesh. What I would not have given for a gram to last me 6 hours back in the day.
Today, nearly 19 months since my last hit of crack, I don't wish for it. I don't need it. I don't even want it. I go to school full time with a 4.0 gpa and I work part time. I have my kids back. I have the most wonderful NON using boyfriend in the world. I really love him and his support.
Don't fool yourself. Cocaine, even in powder form, is NOT glamourous. As you've already experienced, nose bleeds, headaches, and paranoia does not make a person beautiful. Many of us lose too much weight (I lost 130 lbs. in 9 months) and we look horrible. We feel horrible. And all we can think about is the drug! It sucks. WE LOSE OUR KIDS over this mess. It's not a matter of if, but when.
I really hope you try some NA meetings and consider some professional help. And keep coming back to SR. This online forum has been a HUGE help to me in my journey of recovery.
Welcome to SR. I am glad you found us! :ghug3
All this talk about cocaine. My DOC is the hard version. I remember when a gram wouldn't last me 1/2 hour. Geesh. What I would not have given for a gram to last me 6 hours back in the day.
Today, nearly 19 months since my last hit of crack, I don't wish for it. I don't need it. I don't even want it. I go to school full time with a 4.0 gpa and I work part time. I have my kids back. I have the most wonderful NON using boyfriend in the world. I really love him and his support.
Don't fool yourself. Cocaine, even in powder form, is NOT glamourous. As you've already experienced, nose bleeds, headaches, and paranoia does not make a person beautiful. Many of us lose too much weight (I lost 130 lbs. in 9 months) and we look horrible. We feel horrible. And all we can think about is the drug! It sucks. WE LOSE OUR KIDS over this mess. It's not a matter of if, but when.
I really hope you try some NA meetings and consider some professional help. And keep coming back to SR. This online forum has been a HUGE help to me in my journey of recovery.
Welcome to SR. I am glad you found us! :ghug3
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