Is anyone like me?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3
Is anyone like me?
Hi,
I'm hoping to find a place with people like me I am a 46 year old mother, who just graduated from college! Yea Me! But I am also a huge drinker...the kind who doesn't want to look for a job yet because I need to get sober. I also don't like to be out after 5 pm. because that's when I usually start drinking and if I have to drive it ruins my plans for the evening,,,but not totally because I can eventually drink but it'll just be later...I am the person who wakes up every morning saying "I will not drink anymore I'm done!...but then about 1 or 2 o'clock come around and I've already decided I'll only have 4 today and stop...yea ok. I have been this way for years..go to a meeting?? LOL I'm also have social aniexty maybe if I drank a 6 pack or so I could go to a meeting, I have NO friends I don't like my sober husband, and I am on prozac, which I think makes my addictions worse! Am I drinking now? Of course, I drink every night unless I am tooo hung over. I would just love to talk to someone who can relate to my situation.
Bree
I'm hoping to find a place with people like me I am a 46 year old mother, who just graduated from college! Yea Me! But I am also a huge drinker...the kind who doesn't want to look for a job yet because I need to get sober. I also don't like to be out after 5 pm. because that's when I usually start drinking and if I have to drive it ruins my plans for the evening,,,but not totally because I can eventually drink but it'll just be later...I am the person who wakes up every morning saying "I will not drink anymore I'm done!...but then about 1 or 2 o'clock come around and I've already decided I'll only have 4 today and stop...yea ok. I have been this way for years..go to a meeting?? LOL I'm also have social aniexty maybe if I drank a 6 pack or so I could go to a meeting, I have NO friends I don't like my sober husband, and I am on prozac, which I think makes my addictions worse! Am I drinking now? Of course, I drink every night unless I am tooo hung over. I would just love to talk to someone who can relate to my situation.
Bree
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: VA
Posts: 10
Hi Bree,
I'm 45 and have kids..... I have been in your situation. How did I get out of it? The pain I was in was greater than the fear of people. The look of my child's eyes when the truth was discovered by them was a feeling of sadness and regret for what I was doing to myself and them. I think any mother can walk on nails for them. And that's what the first meeting felt like.
It got better and still is......
Lisa
I'm 45 and have kids..... I have been in your situation. How did I get out of it? The pain I was in was greater than the fear of people. The look of my child's eyes when the truth was discovered by them was a feeling of sadness and regret for what I was doing to myself and them. I think any mother can walk on nails for them. And that's what the first meeting felt like.
It got better and still is......
Lisa
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I could have written your post (except I don't have a husband). I would swear off drinking almost every morning too, unless I'd had a successful day (which usually just meant not drinking a whole bottle of wine!). Once the anxiety sets in, though, it seems like only a drink would return me to some form of "normal." It wasn't until I got sober that I realized I wasn't living a normal life at all.
I also take prozac, and they say it doesn't work we're drinking. If you want to rid yourself of a lot of the anxiety and depression (and a host of other problems), you have to stop the cycle. We're here for you. You don't have to live like this anymore if you don't want to.
:ghug3
I also take prozac, and they say it doesn't work we're drinking. If you want to rid yourself of a lot of the anxiety and depression (and a host of other problems), you have to stop the cycle. We're here for you. You don't have to live like this anymore if you don't want to.
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Lakemoor, IL
Posts: 11
Hi Bree. We are all similar in a way. I can relate to you . I am 37 and I am not real fond of my husband right now because he doesn't like to party as much as I do. I really need to stop drinking though. I do bad things when I drink! Glad you are here and look forward to getting to know you!
Porcelina
Porcelina
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3
Thank you all for the replies, I do want to stop, lisamazsam my kids don't know the difference, they have seen me totally drunk a handful of times, but I have always drank, they, and myself don't know a sober me. I am usually a good drunk I just drink quietly to myself and go to bed when I've had enough. When our family gets together we all drink, it's what we do and have always done. Like I said I've just graduated college and want to start looking for work, I know I need to get sober I am in the medical field, when I did my internship I went in hungover several times and it was not good. I'm just looking for inspiration and compaionship, and understanding. I hope to make some friends and learn some things from this board. Night all.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome.....
For me to return to being a non drinker.....
I had to want sobriety more than I wanted to drink.
My recovery required action...
Congratulations on your Graduation
For me to return to being a non drinker.....
I had to want sobriety more than I wanted to drink.
My recovery required action...
Congratulations on your Graduation
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
Welcome to the family! I agree with CarolD: I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink, and tho it took a while, I finally got to that point - and if I can do it, so can you!
I agree with CarolD: I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink, and tho it took a while, I finally got to that point - and if I can do it, so can you! 
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Welcome, bree!
I understand wanting inspiration, but in my experience, inspiration has to come mainly from within. Quitting drinking (and I drank just like you did, only while holding down a full-time job) is difficult under the best of circumstances, but the desire to stop at all costs is what it takes for most of us. You have to want it with all your heart.
Though you say your children aren't affected, you might be surprised what they notice. My own kids didn't live with me most of the time while I was drinking, but I know when they were with me I wasn't "present" for them the way a good mom should be. My mind was always somewhere else.
You've invested a lot of time and effort in your education, but it won't amount to much if you are too wrapped up in your drinking to look for a job, and you may find it next to impossible to keep one if you continue to drink. Alcoholism is progressive, and it won't get better on its own--you can expect it to get worse--much worse.
If you decide you are ready to stop, we can help.
I understand wanting inspiration, but in my experience, inspiration has to come mainly from within. Quitting drinking (and I drank just like you did, only while holding down a full-time job) is difficult under the best of circumstances, but the desire to stop at all costs is what it takes for most of us. You have to want it with all your heart.
Though you say your children aren't affected, you might be surprised what they notice. My own kids didn't live with me most of the time while I was drinking, but I know when they were with me I wasn't "present" for them the way a good mom should be. My mind was always somewhere else.
You've invested a lot of time and effort in your education, but it won't amount to much if you are too wrapped up in your drinking to look for a job, and you may find it next to impossible to keep one if you continue to drink. Alcoholism is progressive, and it won't get better on its own--you can expect it to get worse--much worse.
If you decide you are ready to stop, we can help.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,413
Welcome! I, too, am a Mom with 3 kids and a hubby (he is very supportive) and I would say to myself that I was going to quit drinking, but it did happen. It wasn't until I woke up one morning and said... this is enough, I don't want to drink anymore, I want to feel like I did when I didn't drink. That was it... I needed to want to quit and want to feel great.
This means you need to take the first step when you are ready and you did already take a first step by reaching out to all of us at SR. You will get a lot of support and love to help you with this journey.
I hope you continue to stay here with us... as many have said, we are all in this together.
This means you need to take the first step when you are ready and you did already take a first step by reaching out to all of us at SR. You will get a lot of support and love to help you with this journey.
I hope you continue to stay here with us... as many have said, we are all in this together.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Welcome Breed andcongratulations on college. I think it takes a lot to go to college later in life. If you can do that you can get sober. My mom is an alcoholic and a good drunk...believe me it affects your kids...if for no other reason that they will see drinking to excess acceptable.
I don't have a family of my own but I planned my life around drinking...I tried a million times to get sober before I did. Ok, you have social anxiety and don't feel like you can handle a meeting right away, that's fine, but there are other ways to get sober. There is a lot of information here so do some reading...maybe something will click for you:-)
I don't have a family of my own but I planned my life around drinking...I tried a million times to get sober before I did. Ok, you have social anxiety and don't feel like you can handle a meeting right away, that's fine, but there are other ways to get sober. There is a lot of information here so do some reading...maybe something will click for you:-)
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Congrats on finishing college!!
I also am a mother and I was sick of the cycle of drinking and the self loathing that came along with it. I also said that I was done drinking, and when the next afternoon came around, I gave in to it. You can do this. For you, for your kids, and for the rest of your life. Welcome to SR. You will find a lot of people here who share the same feelings and experiences as you. I hope you find the support you need here.
I also am a mother and I was sick of the cycle of drinking and the self loathing that came along with it. I also said that I was done drinking, and when the next afternoon came around, I gave in to it. You can do this. For you, for your kids, and for the rest of your life. Welcome to SR. You will find a lot of people here who share the same feelings and experiences as you. I hope you find the support you need here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi Bree, welcome to SR. I stopped drinking at 50 and had to figure out who the heck I was w/o alcohol, I didn't think there was a "Me" w/o alcohol. The last 5 yrs or so that I drank I drank alone 95% of the time, I have anxiety issues and have never had many friends and the friends I had were sick of my drunken tirades and because other people got in the way of my drinking. I got 'cut off' so many times by bartenders and that angered me -- I knew I wouldn't get 'cut off' at home alone. I had horrendous hangovers and every time I'd swear to myself I would stop drinking but within 2 days I was drinking.
When I stopped drinking I tried going to meetings but I wasn't comfortable with people and I figured I drank alone I will recover alone.
When I stopped drinking my daughter was grown and had left home a few years earlier, I never thought she was affected at all by my drinking as I'd always been a good provider (I was a single parent), never had any legal trouble, didn't drink every day, we never argued etc I thought we had a really good relationship... Well I was wrong. because I was drunk so much I just didn't realize the harm it caused my daughter; it's been 3 yrs since I quit drinkng and only now is she beginning to forgive me.
When I stopped drinking I tried going to meetings but I wasn't comfortable with people and I figured I drank alone I will recover alone.
When I stopped drinking my daughter was grown and had left home a few years earlier, I never thought she was affected at all by my drinking as I'd always been a good provider (I was a single parent), never had any legal trouble, didn't drink every day, we never argued etc I thought we had a really good relationship... Well I was wrong. because I was drunk so much I just didn't realize the harm it caused my daughter; it's been 3 yrs since I quit drinkng and only now is she beginning to forgive me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 345
Good thing you didn't have a longer post. I was nodding my head up and down so much so that if there was more, I think my head would have fallen off.I identify with all the drinking patterns for sure.
Welcome to Sober Recovery where you will find a lot of people here that can identify with you. You will also find a lot of people who care and are willing to help.
Keep coming,
Harry
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
I'm hoping to find a place with people like me
You have now....
who just graduated from college!
CONGRATS!!
I am also a huge drinker...
That used to be me!
I wake up every morning saying "I will not drink...
Yep!
You are teaching your children it is OK to drink and this is normal behavior. They will no doubt repeat it all.
If you really want to change, you have to be willing to admit complete defeat and surrender to your current ways.
NOT looking to be harsh, simply straight forward.
You have now....
who just graduated from college!
CONGRATS!!
I am also a huge drinker...
That used to be me!
I wake up every morning saying "I will not drink...
Yep!
You are teaching your children it is OK to drink and this is normal behavior. They will no doubt repeat it all.
If you really want to change, you have to be willing to admit complete defeat and surrender to your current ways.
NOT looking to be harsh, simply straight forward.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
I can totally relate. except for the sober husband part. Although he pretty much is now that I am.
I am 41, 3 kids (7, 5 and 4) and 2 stepsons. I work, i used to drink at night, every night. That started getting earlier and earlier, til I was drinking in the day to get over the cruddy feeling. I quit, you can too!
I am 41, 3 kids (7, 5 and 4) and 2 stepsons. I work, i used to drink at night, every night. That started getting earlier and earlier, til I was drinking in the day to get over the cruddy feeling. I quit, you can too!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: los angeles, ca
Posts: 1,223
Hey Bree if you want to or feel like it read my threads or posts, I can relate. I don't get along with my fiance, have no friends, I am a mother of a 1 yr old! I will be 40 in Nov. Anxiety sucks! Hey and when i was on Paxil my drinking got worse too! Dr. put me on it for Post Pardum Anxiety, I was on it for 4 month, gained 20 pounds and drank like a fish. I think I drink out of lonliness, boredom plus Anxiety..
I am right here with ya sista!
I have 3 days today after a bad week.
I made it 23 days in June so if i can do it you can too!
Xo-
I am right here with ya sista!
I have 3 days today after a bad week.
I made it 23 days in June so if i can do it you can too!
Xo-
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3
Just came back here to check on my post and I am amazed at the support...I truely appreciate it, I can't say I will be sober tomorrow or the next day but reading everyone's stories and support has me feeling empowered. Empowered enough to look for a meeting, I have never been can anyone tell me what to expect?? I am such a social phob I don't go to church because I hate the 'greet you neighbor' part, I just want to sit in peace until I feel comfortable. Would I have to talk in a meeting? I don't mind personal 1 on 1 but I am very uncomfortable with any attention drawing.. Thank you all for your patience and understanding.
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