The presence of Wine resides nearby
 

Doing laundry.. I noticed a karafe of wine on the washing machine. Luckily I didn't need to open the lid at the time. I saw it, opened a cabinet to retrieve something then walked out of the room. Had to get something from the pantry again, saw the karafe still sitting there accompanied by a glass with ic in it half full of wine (obviously my mom's) got something for dinner and walked out again. After putting dinner on the table I walked into the kitchen, again this bottle was inching closer and closer with a glass now full of wine... I still just ignored it and got the laundry to fold. I'm now far away from it (I think LOL) and folding laundry!

I'm so proud of myself! :)

Good for you. That seemed like a close call. I might have missed something but does your mom not know stopped drinking? If she doesn't know and you do not want to tell her.....she is not making it easy on you. I find that not having stuff around certainly helps remove the urge. But right now I am so determined that I could be alone in a room with 50 glasses of whatever and I would not do it.....I am on a mission.

If she DOES know you stopped.......that's messed up

I wish you continued strength.

She knows ... She's too wrapped up in her own world of wine that she doesn't really consider others.
EDIT: I wouldn't be surprised if she went out tomorrow and bought me a bottle of wine. (misery loves company and she's the queen of miserable)

I know your mom lives with you. . .I second the question about whether she knows you quit or not? And if she lives with you, is that by her choice or her choice?

We are all different about those who we love and with whom we live and their drinking. My husband still drinks. When I was 60 or so days in, he quit for about 3 weeks. He has started again, although not as often as before. for me, it doesn't really bother me. But he also is respectful of me and makes sure it is not in my face.

If she lives with you, you really need to talk to her about drinking around you, and where she is keeping her wine. It isn't right.

Wow.......hmmmmm. Glad somebody is sober with the kids. Keep it up.

It's too bad that your mother isn't more considerate, but you got through it.

I couldn't have gotten through the first few weeks with wine that close to me.

I am SUPER impressed by you! I can't help but think there is something passive aggressive about your Mom's behavior towards your sobriety. I don't know what the situation is but is there any way at all you can find your Mom another place to live? I know she is your Mom and I can't even imagine being in your place, but it's like she's taunting you???

Does she have a drinking problem "as we here see it"? If no, then it still sucks what she is doing. If yes, it makes perfect sense what she is doing.

Were you guys drinking buddies when you drank? If so she might be hoping you fail so that she doesn't feel so bad anymore. Maybe you and your husband need to sit her down and have a talk with her. Has she ever tried to get sober?

My family is of the persuasion "If we don't talk about it it's not there" of course that never really works.

At my AA meeting today this was the topic of conversation. A woman brought up that she had no family to talk to as they were all active alcoholic/addicts. Not saying you should kick your Mom out, but the general advice was about "letting go".....

Congrats on holding it together!! :bundance:bundance

Yes, she does, she is drunk every night. We weren't drinking buddies but once in awhile we would watch a movie together and drink wine together. She is an alcoholic but doesn't want to stop drinking, doesn't want to change. She doesn't care.

I feel for you, My Dad was an alcoholic too. Didn't care to ever stop drinking. I have constant temptation from alcohol in our house too. My husband drinks, and more than ususal lately. Luckily so far it has not tempted me too much...but that is so far. Hang in there and good for you!

Hi eremc

That a rough situation for sure...I'm glad you got through it.
Sadly many of the members here have to face situations like yours...keep posting here for support, and if you feel you may need real life support as well, like a recovery group, I hope you'll think about that too.

We both know nothing's more important than staying sober :)

D

My family is of the persuasion "If we don't talk about it it's not there" of course that never really works.
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LaFemme, I knew we were separated at birth!

yah, Erem, Mommy-dearest is being quite a *snot*, yathink? You know that she purposely left the wine within your reach for a reason. I bet my pinky toe, she has more than noticed that you quit and the change in your demeanor, emotional state, etc. i agree with the passive/aggressive tug and pull it seems. You said it was best to let sleeping dogs lie, but don't let her wipe her feet on you either.

You have very strong will....on Day 5 if someone had done that to me, I would have picked up the carafe, the glass and headed out the door...

Perhaps you can send her a message by breaking it in the sink? oops! :lala(mybad)

I know how tempting it is. You did a great job of just walking away. It's like you won a battle or something.

My husband drinks daily. My quit didn't slow him down a bit. He just got a designated driver and half-off on the bar bill. To his credit, he's never drunk or obnoxious.

He is, however, one of those drinkers who is going to drink, period. When we make the two hour trip to see my folks, he packs a cooler and chugs the whole way there and back. If we got stopped, we'd get a nice, juicy ticket for open container, even though I'm the one driving. The Serenity prayer comes in handy because this falls under the list of things I cannot change. <sigh>

Husband brews his own beer and actually asks me to smell it and critique the way it smells. He makes his own wine and mead, too. At times, he needs my help with these hobbies, so I get a lot of hands-on exposure.

There are times when what he's made smells really good, and I'd love to try one. I know I can't, though, unless I want the nightmare ride to start again. Thank the powers that be, my husband never, ever offers me a drink.

It's crazy. I have such mixed emotions about the whole thing. On one hand, I get sick and tired his drinking. On the other hand, it's a good object lesson for me. Watching him drink reminds me I'm not the most important person in the world.

Nobody has to change his behavior just because I'm a drunk. I am a little fish in a big pond. <repeat, repeat, repeat>

But, yes, there are days it's a real battle to walk past that bottle. Again, you did a fine job.

Perhaps you can send her a message by breaking it in the sink?

Hey Mom, watch my new trick! *Smash!*

TA DA!

Then again, I'm not known for my subtlety. You have to look out for yourself right now. If something is threatening your sobriety, you distance yourself from it. Tell her if she wants to drink to keep it in her room, because any bottle that passes into the rest of the house will be shattered on sight. It's your house, your sobriety, your rules. JMO.

lildawg, great post! My husband has been drinking more thank he normally does, just when I decide to quit go figure! But I agree....he is not an alcoholic, I am. I am the one that needs to quit not him..and I haven't asked him too either. I just can so relate...

LOL I might just "accidentally" break it next time... "Mom!! what did you doooo???" She probably wouldn't even know if it were her who broke it.

Lucky for me, my husband doesn't drink. He drank maybe a few times since I've known him. He's so different. He doesn't drink, then months later he'll just be like "I feel like getting drunk tonight". and then nothing again for months later. It's incredible. I envy him for that.

He supports me all day long while he's at work. I come here and post, and I also text him. I get support from all the sides I need it from. If I don't get it from my mother, then so be it. It is what it is and that's fine with me. I know I can do this!

My family is of the persuasion "If we don't talk about it it's not there" of course that never really works.
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This is my family to a T as well. After all we went through with my father's alcoholism, my drinking was ignored because I remained responsible and still took care of her.
My mother is a huge trigger to me, because she is childlike in her demands and needs that we all take care of her and sees my problems as a great thing for her, because if I cannot find a place to live and get a job before they forclose on the house, I will have to move in with her.
Hang in there and do not let her problems continue to be hers. I now realize that I need to work hard not to be like my mother and it is some motivation.

Melissa

Sorry if I missed this, but why does she live with you?