bcboy

Sitting here at almost 100 days sober and today I am feeling right down in the dumps. I got everything done that I have been wanting to get done for a long time now. Had the mindset that this was going to be a great stress free weekend.

Here I am wanting more than ever to just drink myself stupid and smoke some weed...

I am actually vibrating with cravings.

Why now... I dont need this in my head right now.

I hate this so much.

ANGELINA243

Those passing thoughts do come from time to time--especially in early sobriety (although it does get better with time.) Just don't give in to those thoughts. Keep posting here. You are not alone. We do recover.

Dee74

Hi BCBoy
I had much the same feelings around day 100.
I looked at myself and my life, and determined, for me, that it was probably PAWs...this link helped me

Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) — Why we don’t get better immediately) Digital Dharma

D

eremc08

Congrats on 100! I'm not even close to 100 or even 10 but I understand from other posters that the cravings and feelings will come and go from time to time. I also heard that they only last about 7 minutes or so, so you should let that thought come and go. Keep in mind you're doing an amazing job so far and it's only going to get better if you keep it up. Don't let yourself slip and end up on day 1 again. You can do it!!

artsoul

Hi bcboy- hang on, because it will pass, even though it really sucks right now. It's tough when those urges hit us and it often seems to come from nowhere. I've had a few days when I didn't know if I was going to make it, but with some food, a good nights' sleep, and lots of SR/TV, I got through it and so can you.

I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but it seems like after one of those days (or couple of days), I move ahead even faster in my sobriety. Kinda like the sunshine after the storm. I could be imagining it though.

I always remember what Dee says about having thoughts but not acting on them. Just because we "feel like it" doesn't mean it has to take us over. Not anymore. Also good: thinking about what you have to be grateful for.... an attitude adjustment, if you will.

Sending good vibes your way.

bcboy

Thanks all

I am finding that the biggest problem right now is the fact that I am living in the wrong environment. Everyone is doing what I was doing and every day its the same thing over and over in my face.

All my friends/family are all saying that I don't have a problem blah blah blah... and if feels as if for the last 3 months+ they have been wearing me down day by day and it sucks!

I tried a long swim, a hot bath a long walk in the woods, reading a book... everything and I am still just shaking with cravings.

Dee74

I had to change my environment yeah.

So many times I just thought I could stay strong, and not drink or use.

I think I'm pretty strong, but I was never strong enough to do that for long - not back then anyway.

Have you thought anymore about a recovery programme or counseling or something?

I dunno, but having some kind of real life support, outside your wife and kids, might help to even up the odds a little.

Apart from that I find looking back on my posts helps reminds me again why I'm here
D

summer017

great job on the 100! find something to occupy your time - feelings like this will come and go, i hope that you will find the strength to overcome.. actually, i know you will keep your head up and focused on your healthy happiness, whatever that may be to you.

it will pass

xoxo

bcboy

I know it will pass and I do know for sure that I will not drink I just hate the feeling.

I am more upset about the fact that I am feeling this way than anything. Not that I want to drink or whatever. Just knowing I will not drink no matter what, yet the feeling is still right there.

I do feel a little better now that I ate a huge dinner.

NewMe11109

Hi bcboy - Sorry you are having a rough day.

As others have said, it is normal, but still no fun.

For me, I couldn't just wait around for things to get better ... I have to take action. This is what "actively working your program of recovery" means (vs. just abstaining from alcohol).

When I feel as you do (and I still do sometimes after 19 months) I just go work on my recovery. Usually this means going to an AA meeting or helping another alcoholic.

I've learned how to recognize my emotions better now and so when I am "feeling a bit out of sorts" I probably will spend an hour posting and reading on SR. When I feel "mildly sad", I go to a meeting. If I feel "depressed and low", I call my sponsor and try to find another alcoholic to help or a service commitment.

I always feel better within a couple of hours or a day, but I've learned that I have to take action.

I hope you feel better soon.

Murray4x5

Hi there south coast bcboy, I'm north coast BC Murray.

Thanks for the heads up about still having to deal with strong urges late into the recovery game. I'm at day 50, and knowing they will come and go in the future means they won't blind side me.

I've never hung out in Whistler (I climbed in Squamish in a past life...) but I imagine it's got a fast and wild pace. Maybe you could hook up with a different crowd once in a while, like trail runners, hikers, or climbers who don't drink or toke so much. Just an idea...

Murray

bcboy

Hey Murray

Thats just the problem though the hikers, trail runners, climbers and mountain bikers all seem to be doing what I am trying so hard to avoid.

and your right, this is no place for someone trying to be sober. A walk through the village any night of the week is never good for someone trying to not drink.

I am going to have to start seeking out other people who do not drink. All my old friends are starting to notice I am no "fun" to be around anymore because of my lack of drinking.

Murray4x5

It must be a crazy place. Anybody who can afford to holiday there is going to have more than a few extra bucks to throw away at the bar. I walk my dog past the beer and wine store three times a day and that's reminder enough for me.

Just a thought, but don't you think real friends won't care whether you drink or not?

Murray

recycle

I swear I don't know how you guys could afford to be alcoholics in BC. It is a bloody expensive place to drink. I have a brother in a bottle somewhere in Richmond, he hasn't worked in years, I swear I have no idea how he pulls it off.

Back on topic: bcboy there is a good thread on PAWS going on in the alcoholism forum called "bored" or something. It sure helped me, the past few days were a little tough and I was likely headed for a major ****-up. It gave me some patience realizing it was at least partially a chemical thing and it is going to pass.

ninja7

Hi, BC! Congrats on your 100 days! After I've got a concept of my HP rigidly, I lost my craving. It's means that I pass the step 3. After that I can meditate to connect my HP whenever I crave. JMHO. 8

Perpetual

Wow, kind of stumbled onto this, I realize it is old, but I am going through the same stuff. Living in the same town for that matter. I relate to this totally. Its hard in a town where the streets are lined with coke, everyone smokes and drinking is part of the life. Its easier to stumble into someone seeling drugs than it is to find someone with a bottle of coke.

Hopefully everything worked out BCBoy, I am beginning my journey here.