Definition of "sober"?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 28
Definition of "sober"?
Hey guys, totally innocent question here. Does "staying sober" mean not having had even one drink? Or maybe drinking a little, but not getting *drunk*? I always took it to mean not having had even one drink, but sometimes I see posts that say "I've been sober for 5 years with 98% success" or something....Just confused on the exact definition.
Either way, tomorrow will be a week sober and I do not feel that I could have handled "just one" at anytime during this week. Coming to terms with the fact that I probably can never again do the "just one" thing. I don't want to accept it, but I think I have to.
Blargh.
Either way, tomorrow will be a week sober and I do not feel that I could have handled "just one" at anytime during this week. Coming to terms with the fact that I probably can never again do the "just one" thing. I don't want to accept it, but I think I have to.
Blargh.
Then the bird said 'Nevermore'
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 116
the addict in my life has also stated that he would never have been able to use 'just once'. once you let yourself entertain the idea that you are going to do it 'just this once' you have let that demon in through the front door and offered him the spare bedroom. (fully knowing that creep has a history of overstaying his welcome!)
i just wanted to say congrats on the week sobriety
keep it up maggi
xoxo
i just wanted to say congrats on the week sobriety
keep it up maggi xoxo
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hey Maggie..I personally think the 98% sober is legitimate...but suspect I am in the minority. Just my opinion but if you view the loss of alcohol as a loss or depreciation...it is much harder to quit...better to try and change the way you view drinking and alcohol so that you view sobriety as a great thing. IMHO
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Maggi 
...sometimes I see posts that say "I've been sober for 5 years with 98% success" or something....
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Congrats on the week Maggie. Someone with more experience can prob answer your question but I would think sober means consuming no alcohol...at least that's the way I take it.
I think you gotta take things one day at a time. Still...you should accept you prob cannot have that one drink. One will eventually turn into what you were drinking before, and then you'll be back where you were.
Congrats on your sober time!
I think you gotta take things one day at a time. Still...you should accept you prob cannot have that one drink. One will eventually turn into what you were drinking before, and then you'll be back where you were.
Congrats on your sober time!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I think "sober" for normal drinkers is a lot different from "sober" for us. For normal drinkers, sober basically means not drinking excessively. I would consider someone who has one glass of wine with dinner every night to be a "sober" person. For US, though, sober means NO DRINKING. Because there IS no "moderate" for us.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Maggi, without seeing the posts you are thinking of, I am guessing the situation was that they didn't drink alcohol the majority of the time between X and Y date but did return to it at one point or another; then abstained again. I suppose it would be a common occurrence for a person to go without drinking for X length of time and then their mind tells them it will be OK to have some (things will be different); and then they have to do the work of stopping again. I didn't go through that a lot; I usually just drank steadily. But I can think of a time when I quit for a few weeks and thought that was the way it was going to be, but I drank again; and then almost 8 years went by (just as the previous 6 or 7 years of everyday drinking had done). I don't have the experience to put together a sentence like the one you are remembering, because at 9 months now, this is the longest I have ever been 100% away from any alcohol since I first started drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 45
I agree with the poster who said that "sober" means something different to a normal drinker than it does to someone with a drinking problem. I, too, would consider a social drinker who can stop after one or two drinks to be "sober." For people with addiction issues, "sober" means total abstinence.
Still, to be very clear, I always use the term "abstinence" rather than sober, because I do see a difference between the two.
Still, to be very clear, I always use the term "abstinence" rather than sober, because I do see a difference between the two.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
I really don't use the term "sober" in conversation. I don't describe myself as a "sober" person. Since so many people have such varying definitions of the word, I stay away from it altogether. Some people define it as not ingesting any mood- or mind-altering substance, so where do you draw the line? Alcohol? Cocaine? Marijuana? Caffeine? Sugar? There's just too large of an umbrella under which the word "sober" can fit. For me, at least.
I just say "I don't drink" or "I stopped drinking."
I just say "I don't drink" or "I stopped drinking."
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by LaFemme
Hey Maggie..I personally think the 98% sober is legitimate...but suspect I am in the minority. Just my opinion but if you view the loss of alcohol as a loss or depreciation...it is much harder to quit...better to try and change the way you view drinking and alcohol so that you view sobriety as a great thing. IMHO
I have changed my habits and my lifestyle 90% since February, 2010 and I gauge my progress by how I feel, MY mental and physical health....
I do NOT beat myself up or wear a hair shirt if I have a glass or wine but I know the consequences and how I feel....in practice I know I prefer to be sober and not hung over, depressed and physically sick...
I suspect my brain will stop talking me into a glass of wine at some point in the future....it took me over 2 years to stop smoking too...eventually i just stopped because I was ready.
but again this is just me, i think i am a minority who feels this way.
Ethanol Intolerant
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Cascadia
Posts: 665
Maggi it is your sobriety and you can define it however you want. In the past, the problem I have had with just one, is it becomes just one more. Perhaps at some point in the future I will be healthy enough to have a drink or two and not think about it any further. Perhaps not. I do not know where I will be in the future. I know in the present I have damaged myself with alcohol. So at least for the next several years I am going with just none.
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