Notices

Definition of "sober"?

Old 08-22-2010, 08:26 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Cool

Ah yes, the 'definition' of 'terms' in recovery....lolol

If there's ONE thing I've learned in my time in recovery is that there are a whole bunch 'o terms whose definitions are totally subjective. Some of these terms are.....: alcoholic; alcoholism; addict; addiction; sober; sobriety; clean; mind-altering chemicals; and even the terms recovering, recovered, and recovery.

AA and NA have their own 'official' definitions for the terms such as sober/sobriety and clean.........:

AA's 'official' definition of sober/sobriety is freedom from alcohol (note, it's freedom from alcohol only....nothing else in addition.l

NA's 'official' definition of clean is free from all mind altering chemicals (of course, with the exception of nicotine and caffeine).....an interesting point here....: since NA considers alcohol a drug (which, in fact, it is), freedom from alcohol is included in their definition of the term clean, just not singled out, so to speak. Therefore, folks in NA who are clean, could also be considered sober in AA, but not the other way around.

Since I'm a member of both, I just have to be aware of where I am; if I'm in AA I use the term sober and refer to alcohol only. If I'm in NA I use the term clean and refer to all drugs (not singling out any one particular drug).

As I mentioned earlier, these terms are so subjective, it really doesn't matter what my definition is, except as it pertains to me, but to jump in here.....for me, as an AAer, me definition of the term sober would be AA's 'official' definition....: freedom from alcohol.....period; nothing else.....

Also, I have to agree with those on here who who have said that for non-alcoholics the term sober would probably have a totally different definition, like....: not addicted to intoxicating drink; or not drunk; or marked by termerance or moderation; and the list goes on.....

So, Maggi, you just go on and define it any ole way you wanna (ain't nobody's business but your own), and congratulations on your one week....!


(o:
NoelleR
NoelleR is offline  
Old 08-22-2010, 09:03 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
SR Fan
 
artsoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
For me, being sober is not drinking, period. It's not about the drink really, and whether I could handle a glass of wine after months of sobriety. It's about letting my addiction back in. Because I will never be able to look at alcohol through a normal lens, to give the alcoholic in me a chance to drink again just makes it that much harder to resist the next temptation that comes around.

I do think our sober time counts, though, even when we have a slip. If someone has been sober for 5 years other than one drink, they still have 4 years and 364 days of sober time. Maybe some people don't want to go back to day 1 because it's too depressing..... I don't know? I think most people start over again, though. I know I would have to start over because I really believe even one or two drinks is that dangerous for an alcoholic. I wouldn't want to act like it never happened.

Thanks for the post. Great responses, too!
artsoul is offline  
Old 08-22-2010, 11:36 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
This is a really interesting thread ! Thanks Maggie

My experience was getting clean and sober for over 7 years, and decided (after a few months of deliberation) to take a crack at drinking "socially". Should qualify that I never had a "slip" ....always secretly thought that was because I drank waaay more and was in waaaay more trouble than the folks who did; ....among other reasons. (luck, good fortune ?!? )


Anyway, as hard headed as I was, I gradually drank more and more for another 9 years (early on , desperately justifying, rationalizing, and any other self-delusional tactics I could dream up ) ..... until things got about as bad as they could've possibly gotten.

Curiously; .....I really wasn't able to acknowledge the fact that what I'd done was a "relapse" until after I'd gotten sober in April of this year. Wouldn't wish my experience on anyone, but do feel a deeper sense of gratitude for the "blessing" of sobriety this time around ; ...because of it.


Thinking of, or valueing sobriety in terms restricted to just the passage of time; seems a little too simple. For me, the quality of life in recovery , may be just as/more important today.

Grateful to be sober almost 5 months soon. Dang; .... Guess my gratitude is kinda like my sobriety; only possible ODAAT.

Peace , y'all
topspin is offline  
Old 08-23-2010, 02:46 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
SereniTee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: London, England
Posts: 211
Having a drink in recovery is called a relapse. Plain and simple. It's good to have it clear in your mind, try to not let excuses and reasoning start to creep in, it gets better and you can reach a stage in your recovery where you don't even want to drink anymore. I have reached that point now, it IS possible.
SereniTee is offline  
Old 08-23-2010, 03:46 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: London
Posts: 337
My definition of "sober" varies depending on my commitment to recovery.
When I am determined: sober = teetotal.
When I am in denial: sober = still able to stand up unaided.
HarryB is offline  
Old 08-23-2010, 11:14 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Then the bird said 'Nevermore'
 
summer017's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 116
"The only way to keep from returning to active addiction is not to take that first drug. If you are like us you know that one is too many and a thousand is never enough. We put great emphasis on this, for we know that when we use drugs in any form, or substitute one for another, we release our addiction all over again.

Thinking of alcohol as different from other drugs has caused a great many addicts to relapse. Before we came to NA many of us viewed alcohol separately, but we cannot afford to be confused about this. Alcohol is a drug. We are people with the disease of addiction who must abstain from all drugs in order to recover." Basic Text, page 18

xoxo
summer017 is offline  
Old 08-24-2010, 12:34 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 138
At the moment sober to me isn't that one drink itself is going to send me back into some sort of alcohol fueled demolition derby, sober is both the realization of and action upon the simple truth that I cannot drink in moderation and thus should not drink at all.
HidLid is offline  
Old 08-24-2010, 01:28 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
 
EanDubh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by Maggi View Post
Hey guys, totally innocent question here. Does "staying sober" mean not having had even one drink? Or maybe drinking a little, but not getting *drunk*? I always took it to mean not having had even one drink, but sometimes I see posts that say "I've been sober for 5 years with 98% success" or something....Just confused on the exact definition.

Either way, tomorrow will be a week sober and I do not feel that I could have handled "just one" at anytime during this week. Coming to terms with the fact that I probably can never again do the "just one" thing. I don't want to accept it, but I think I have to.

Blargh.
I think for most people here it's about living a life completely free from drugs and alcohol. Recently for me, after about 15 days of not drinking at all, I started moderating-- having a couple of beers (worked for awhile) but it wasn't long before I was back where I started with wine and liquor over the course of the evening. It seems I've been in a three year cycle of moderating and sobering. The worst always comes when I find myself trying to "drink off" a hangover-- I scale back-- and it's always worse the next time.

I understand where you are. My pride tells me that I could moderate with some discipline.... but the fact remains that I am a disciplined, hard-working person in every aspect of my life except alcohol.

I know people who have done it. My friend struggled with alcohol for a long time-- and now for the last two years he is able to moderate-- but refuses to drink anything but light beer with food. Everybody is different-- but do keep in mind I don't think many of the regulars here are using moderation management.
EanDubh is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:42 AM.